Really struggling with this

[Dontknowhowtogetthroughthis]

Morning mumsnet

I can't sleep and haven't been able to for some time now. Long time poster have name changed for this post as don't want it to be with my main name and it could be outing. Cheese in tea during covid times, creepy guy in Essex disco and Screaming in the Chapel in Rome (to prove my long term allegiance to mumsnet)

Anyway. Here's my post I am 5ft and 12 stone and really really struggling to like myself. I just feel so bloated and fat honestly I am like a walking ball. I feel sorry for my dh and can't be intimate with him because I just think how disgusting I am. I honestly feel sorry for him. I am so embarrassed.

I cook from scratch daily use fresh foods. Exercise daily on top of working kids housework.

My weight just won't shift. Its the bloating that's my main point really my whole body is constantly bloated for around three weeks a month. When I look at myself I am just disgusted.

Just needed to get all that out my head because I am so upset about my body.

sorry youre feeling so low. i'm up bf and came accross this. I can only recommend the technique which always always works with me. its a calorie deficit diet. ive looked up how many calories you need a day - 1600 to lose weight based on you working out 1-3 times a week. download my fitness pal and log everything you eat. the app will give you suggestions of how many calories were in your meal and you need to figure out which fits best. log everything you eat and drink. you will feel a difference within a few weeks if you strictly stick to 1600.

what do you eat daily and how much of it? i can then recommend a meal plan

Aw hun, can't sleep myself... Have you considered intermittent fasting? It worked for me, I shed two kilos which are back now as I stopped the fasting due to illness.

i should say that i assumed an age for you of 35! am i roughly right?

First thing - have you had the bloating checked by a GP?

I'm immune suppressed for another condition and prone to gut issues.

for my gut health I follow these basic principles

• having natural biolive plain yoghurt every day
• no supermarket bread, only sourdough
• oats and berries to start the day every day
• I don't drink milk only almond milk and have small to moderate amounts of cheese
• nuts and extra virgin olive oil every day for healthy fats
• I don't drink alcohol, virtually never. If I do it's like a thumbsworth of red wine
• 100-200g of greens every day

I make sure I eat my daily calorie intake because digestion needs calories and the body won't prioritise this process if there aren't enough calories. Sleep wise I find a higher protein diet helps, also taking magnesium and a good quality multivit.

If you can, try and separate out your thoughts about your body, and focus on practical steps you can take. The thoughts then change iyswim.

When I notice them I try and approach it with curiosity, like OK I'm using a lot of should and must language, what could I use instead, or OK how theoretically could I motivate myself about this.

Sometimes we just want reassurance we are loved as we are, but I've been thinking recently its about shifting how one views value from being about external appearance to about being healthy and strong.

Alongside the walking you could incorporate strength training. Strength training gave me tonnes of confidence when I started.