Do you have a child planning on starting uni next year?if so, how are you feeling about it all?

JennyTals · 2024-11-30T20:51:36+00:00

I'm feeling mixed, hopeful she does well in a levels and gets in somewhere she wants to go, incredibly proud of the lovely person she us and how well she's done. But its making me feel quite unsettled, maybe its the way its all up in the air until so late in the day

UniCostsWorry · 30/11/2024 20:56

Worried about the huge cost and lifetime of never paying off the loan so is it worth it. DD planning a gap year possibly two year one to save some money and experience life more.

Original poster

JennyTals · 30/11/2024 20:59

Yeah I worry about the money too, such big debts to take on so young, I try n listen to the advice to think of it as graduation tax, but it still worries me

OP posts:

marcopront · 30/11/2024 21:01

Scared and excited.

We're not in the UK and she has only applied to the USA which is still a long way from where we are.
She has one offer with amazing funding but we are still waiting to hear from others.

It's just been the two of us for 16 years. The house will be empty next year.

Original poster

JennyTals · 30/11/2024 21:03

Yes a crazy combination of scared and excited

Even though I have a busy full life of my own and lots of friends etc, I know I'm going to miss her so badly

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llareggub · 30/11/2024 21:06

Excited for him, and glad that he seems independent and self-sufficient. I feel like I’ve done this parenting thing right and it’s time for him to fly. Not sure how I will feel when my youngest goes!

LimeYellow · 30/11/2024 21:08

I was in your shoes last year and he flew the nest a couple of months ago. He’s having a brilliant time!

Romeiswheretheheartis · 30/11/2024 21:15

Really anxious, am trying not to think about it. She is one of the youngest in her year, has ASD and went through a period of self harm, so I don't like to think of her out there on her own. I'd like her to take a gap year, but don't want to hold her back if she doesn't want to.

blueshoes · 30/11/2024 21:19

OP, your first one to uni?

Ds starts next year and will be my second and last. I am very excited for him. I know he cannot wait to live in his own place and amongst his new friends. He will probably not look back. I will need to find ways to tempt him home.

That said, I also have things to do once he is gone. Things I have never had time to because of a teen is high maintenance and needs support with academics, applications, choices and friendships. It will just be dh and I and I am looking forward to that.

blueshoes · 30/11/2024 21:31

Romeiswheretheheartis · 30/11/2024 21:15

Really anxious, am trying not to think about it. She is one of the youngest in her year, has ASD and went through a period of self harm, so I don't like to think of her out there on her own. I'd like her to take a gap year, but don't want to hold her back if she doesn't want to.

Such a worry. My dd has autism. She is now in her final year of her creative course and seems to be doing well.

You have probably already done this. She should apply for Disabled Student Allowance. It is easy to get and generous. Dd's assessor did not quibble and just wanted to know what she needed. For ASD, your dd can get a mentor, assistive technology, printer and a laptop subsidy.

Contact the student welfare/engagement team in her uni and get your dd to authorise the uni to disclose things to you (obviously if your dd is willing to authorise). It does not guarantee the uni will contact you but at least they cannot say they cannot tell you if you ask because your dd is an adult.

Dd chose a uni that is close to us. We did not insist but somehow she did, to our surprise. She comes home every 3-4 weeks, even if it is a short visit. We have to persuade her to, lol. I use those visits to help her with adulting, like her bank account. Dh and I handle her student loans and accommodation/rent. It is not teaching her independence but we work through them (e.g. call the bank together), so easing her into life admin.

All the best to your dd. It is such a big step. It could be the making of her. Hopefully she will let you keep close.

Original poster

JennyTals · 30/11/2024 21:35

blueshoes · 30/11/2024 21:19

OP, your first one to uni?

Ds starts next year and will be my second and last. I am very excited for him. I know he cannot wait to live in his own place and amongst his new friends. He will probably not look back. I will need to find ways to tempt him home.

That said, I also have things to do once he is gone. Things I have never had time to because of a teen is high maintenance and needs support with academics, applications, choices and friendships. It will just be dh and I and I am looking forward to that.

Yes my first one, my eldest.

So its all super new

OP posts:

Original poster

JennyTals · 30/11/2024 21:36

LimeYellow · 30/11/2024 21:08

I was in your shoes last year and he flew the nest a couple of months ago. He’s having a brilliant time!

When it was th8s time last year, did you think about it alot?

OP posts:

Original poster

JennyTals · 30/11/2024 21:37

Romeiswheretheheartis · 30/11/2024 21:15

Really anxious, am trying not to think about it. She is one of the youngest in her year, has ASD and went through a period of self harm, so I don't like to think of her out there on her own. I'd like her to take a gap year, but don't want to hold her back if she doesn't want to.

Will she stay nearby or far away ?

OP posts:

Romeiswheretheheartis · 01/12/2024 14:23

blueshoes · 30/11/2024 21:31

Such a worry. My dd has autism. She is now in her final year of her creative course and seems to be doing well.

You have probably already done this. She should apply for Disabled Student Allowance. It is easy to get and generous. Dd's assessor did not quibble and just wanted to know what she needed. For ASD, your dd can get a mentor, assistive technology, printer and a laptop subsidy.

Contact the student welfare/engagement team in her uni and get your dd to authorise the uni to disclose things to you (obviously if your dd is willing to authorise). It does not guarantee the uni will contact you but at least they cannot say they cannot tell you if you ask because your dd is an adult.

Dd chose a uni that is close to us. We did not insist but somehow she did, to our surprise. She comes home every 3-4 weeks, even if it is a short visit. We have to persuade her to, lol. I use those visits to help her with adulting, like her bank account. Dh and I handle her student loans and accommodation/rent. It is not teaching her independence but we work through them (e.g. call the bank together), so easing her into life admin.

All the best to your dd. It is such a big step. It could be the making of her. Hopefully she will let you keep close.

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Thanks so much for this advice. ❤

Romeiswheretheheartis · 01/12/2024 14:27

JennyTals · 30/11/2024 21:37

Will she stay nearby or far away ?

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She's applying for mostly ones that are a 2-3 hours train journey away. Just one that's closer. So not the other end of the country, but not really nearby either.

medprocesspain · 01/12/2024 14:46

Really excited for him, although at the moment a bit worried as there is still a way to go as applying for medicine. Apprehensive about the amount of financial support he will need for the next five years. Worried about how my DD will cope as they are so close. And excited for me to have some time back after the all consuming process of getting two teens through GCSEs, A Levels and uni applications in the same year!