Year 6 homework, really struggling with it

[elliejjtiny]

Ds5 is 10 and in year 6. He is about as autistic as you can get without having learning disabilities and recent years showed him functioning emotionally at a pre-school level. He is working at greater depth for maths but he struggles to engage with learning so he quite often doesn't show his full potential. He often gets low marks in his practice SATS because He won't answer most of the questions. He has 1-1 support most of the time at school. He almost has an ehcp, we have the final draft but the LA and the secondary school are still negotiating money.

We are really struggling with homework. He won't do anything unless I sit with him and I have to help him a lot. Even then it takes 3-4 hours in total to do 3 a4 sheets of maths, 3 sheets of grammar and learn spellings. It has been the same since he started getting homework during lockdown. He gets so upset, screaming and flinging himself on the floor and everything takes so much time. I wish I had the confidence to just not do it but when I tried that ds5 got kept in at break and I got a telling off from the teacher. on the reports between the professionals they always mention about us as parents and whether we are engaging with the school, completing homework, turning up for meetings etc so I worry that if we don't do the homework we will be in a lot of trouble with someone. I'm dreading secondary school when the homework will increase and get harder. I'm really struggling with this. Every so often I'm tempted to unschool him but I think that would be swapping one lot of problems for a different lot.

I think I would scream if I got that amount of homework too.

How frequently does he get that homework - it seems masses if it’s per day.

Can you speak to the school and agree that they cut it down e.g to one sheet

That sounds really stressful. Is there anything in the final draft of the echp about secondary school homework? And pastoral care such as emotional support sessions to help his transition? If not maybe try to get something put in about this urgently. Or, speak to the senco/pastoral team at secondary, try to set your expectations early and see what they say.

A telling off from the teacher is just not on. If they understand that he needs one to one support at school, they should understand that he is too burnt out for homework.

My son has just started secondary, we also got the final ehcp in year six and the ehcp was focused mostly on the secondary transition which was really helpful. For him it was mostly due to his physical needs (he has cerebral palsy).

Ps that does sound like quite a lot of homework for year six.

That is a lot of homework.

I wouldn't battle with him for the sake of a few months left.

Is the homework for the week or more often?

If for the week, I'd chunk it down in 5/10 minute bits, followed by something rewarding after every day. You get through what you can .

Alternatively, you sit down with him and rather than forcing him, over explaining a question until you finally have the answer you need from him etc., you write factual notes "X could not understand this question " , "X did not remember the method for this question ", " X became overwhelmed after 7 questions " , "X did not know what an adjective is" etc. Leave any answers that are wrong/incomplete to stand. It's about what he can do , not what you can do. You can read questions to him, as it sounds like he might get a reader in SATS, but what he does to the information is up to him. Still keep it short rather than hours.

Homework should be accessible enough to be done independently. If you have to reteach or explain again and again or do it for him, then it's pretty pointless.

Respectfully it sounds as if it might be very difficult to homeschool him if it’s so difficult to get some homework done.
Agree with tackling the homework in smaller slots maybe 30 mins and also checking out with the school about the suitability of the homework given his needs.

Every so often I'm tempted to unschool him but I think that would be swapping one lot of problems for a different lot.

It would, but they might be lesser problems. If home education is an idea that appeals to you and is viable for your family, now would be an ideal time to try it. You could do it for the rest of the academic year and then decide whether to stick with it or try him in secondary to see how that pans out.

Year 6 is a good time for a trial of home education because you don't have to worry about the possibility that if home ed doesn't suit, you might be unable to get your son back into his current school due to oversubscription. You can apply for a secondary place in case you want it next year.

Some parents are more hesitant about trying home ed at the start of Y7 if they are unsure whether it's the best way forward. If a trial period of HE at the start of secondary doesn't work out, there may be no space in your preferred school, and also the child will have missed out on settling in with the other new Y7s.

A PP suggested that "it sounds as if it might be very difficult to homeschool him if it’s so difficult to get some homework done". That really isn't the case. Home education doesn't have to involve sitting down and doing bookwork. Many kids don't learn best that way. A child who is reluctant to complete a sheet of maths problems might be very keen to calculate what he can buy with in-game currency in his video game, or how many points he has to score to get to the next level, or how long it will take him to save his pocket money for the toy he wants to buy.

My kids - now aged 25 and 18 - did not do much formal learning at all when they were young, but still acquired the skills they needed. It isn't necessary to drag a frustrated child through a worksheet which drives him to such distress he throws himself screaming onto the floor. Free of the pressure from school to produce outputs, it's possible to take your time and discover what will engage him. He won't necessarily be motivated to learn what someone else wants him to learn in the moment they want him to do it, but outside of a classroom environment that doesn't matter.

That's a heck of a lot of homework. Are there any consequences for just not doing it?!

I assume that is per week, not per night homework? Per week would be reasonable, per night would not.

Lots of autistic kids struggle with homework for various reasons, and many get some sort of accommodation when it causes issues. For some, the divide between home and school is sacred and it is massively distressing to have to bring school home. Some schools offer homework clubs after school or (in senior school ) time within the day to do homework. I also know parents who take kids to the library to do homework after school, allowing them to completely switch off when they get home. I know a handful of children for whom this works - massive meltdowns at home doing homework, but no/minimal issues doing it in a designated time and place that isn’t home. I also know plenty of kids who have reduced or eliminated homework expectations

The key thing is to actively engage with the school on the parameters. For example I have a rule with one dd that we never spend more than 30 mins on homework - she has a number of gaps all with suggested home interventions, each of which is small but cumulatively add up on top of regular homework. I would get the occasional comment of ‘see you haven’t logged on to x this week’ to which I would respond we allocate 30 mins a day to homework and this week we are prioritising y and z - we will spend more time on x next week. @BlueSilverCats ’s suggestion of adding notes to incomplete homework is also good as it shows engagement as well as communicates specific challenges. It is fine to make the executive decision not to do homework, you just need to follow through with communication to the school.

What am I missing???

I'd just do the homework for him ,,,,,?

Job done, no one the wiser, happy kid, parent and school .... no?

The only point of homework in primary school is getting children used to the concept ready for senior school.

A lot of autistic children really struggle with homework because of the compartmentalism between home and school in their coping mechanisms.

You are not going to get into trouble if you just decree that your DC will not do any further homework this school year because it is detrimental to his wellbeing. They cannot force it.

I presume you are already talking to intended secondary schools about planned transition arrangements. If your DC would cope with this, a lot of children with autism find it best to have it built into their routine that at the end of lessons every school day they go to the library for an hour and do any set tasks then, so that coming home means switching off from school and not having to think about it any more. Could he cope with that?