Feel sad - 2nd child

[HettyMeg]

We have been on the fence about a second child for a while (dd is about to turn 3). I was feeling one and done a year ago but have started to want a second more the last few months, dh is still unsure and saying he can't see it happening in next 2 years or maybe ever because of finances, lack of family support and not wanting to go back to sleepless nights.
I can't lie, I'm disappointed but I see where he's coming from. The first year of dd's life was so hard. We had zero family support which I found very hurtful and has caused deep rifts. I look back now and think I probably had PPD. We still have very little support. We earn about £70k between us. Paying childcare for the past 2 years has crippled us financially. We have v little savings left due to making necessary improvements to the house. So he's right, I know, but I still feel sad. I'm starting to feel like I don't understand how people can afford a second child.

Is there a reason why you need to decide now? Enjoy your DD every stage is special.

I can only tell you of my experience. I remember being pregnant with dc2, dc1 was almost 3. I worked 8 hours a week, dh worked shifts. We had very very little family support which ended not long after. Anyway we were used to struggling. I was at work and a younger colleague asked me in a hushed whisper "I'm not being funny but how can you afford another baby?". She was genuinely concerned. I remember saying "i honestly don't know, I'm refusing to think about it". We had around 17k between us a year. We didn't go abroad for 15 years, didn't have a social life, weekends away, decent car, all the things thats normal now. We had no space at home, dh and i literally slept in bunkbeds.
It was bloody hard going.
Now that dc2 is grown up and flown the nest. Has a brilliant, very sought after grad job, distinction in his masters, scholarship for it too. Great kid, pals, hobbies etc. Ds1 doing great too.
Dh and i still spend nothing on ourselves, we just aren't used to it. Any spare money goes towards them. I know one day they might need to help us eg. It'll be the other way round. I'm sure they will if they can.

Basically I'm saying go for it. Don't wait till you can afford it. You never will.