Saying no - what does that look like for you at the moment?

[Lottapianos]

So we're all supposed to be getting better at saying no and settling boundaries and giving fewer fucks and all the rest of it, and I get why. I was wondering how you have recently been saying no and how you have felt about it

I have said no thank you to the Christmas do and Secret Santa at work. I like my colleagues but have no desire to spend an entire Saturday with them, and I have no interest in buying gifts for colleagues either. I'm well known as a Christmas refuser at work so I'm sure no one was surprised. I have felt some guilt about saying no, but the DEEP JOY I felt at being home on Saturday instead of pretending to enjoy myself at the Christmas 'activity' was undeniable!

I'm in need of a bit of bolstering at the moment, so share your examples of 'no thank you' and how you feel about it

Here are some I've done recently:

• Said no to DS gymnastics teacher bizarrely pushing over and over to send him to the holiday camp over Christmas (he's 5, it's not like he's an Olympian in training 😂)

• Said no to boss asking me to travel back to the USA in 2 weeks (I've literally just come back today). It's the first time I've said 'no' to work travel and he was a bit shocked but I don't think I can find childcare again, and also I love being around for Christmassy things/I'd have to cancel plans and a nativity play so I said no.

• Said 'I need an answer' and stuck to it about family coming for Christmas and being wishy-washy on confirming.

I'm a people pleaser supreme so it's been something I've been working on lately.

Good work LittleRed 👍 it's not easy to shake the people pleasing tendencies, but it's very rewarding and important work