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Scared that Ex is grooming dd-warning, concerns re. Child abuse

3 replies

Scareofgettingthiswrong · 26/11/2024 09:35

My ex and I broke up when dd was born 8 years ago. He is very unstable emotionally, and gets very angry. He is also very controlling.

I moved 30 miles away from him recently, and this has not gone down well. Since we moved, he has started having baths with dd when she stays at his house. He has never bathed or showered with her before. She is a very young 8, and still needs help with washing her hair etc, so he has done that.

This makes me so uneasy. Am I over-reacting? I would be mortified if I got this wrong, but she has (naturally, not suddenly) become more private about herself over the past 6 months. She doesn’t want me to see her get dressed and undressed for example, but is happy for me to help her while she is bathing, so I don’t feel like she would be comfortable having him in the bath with her. She isn’t showing any sexualised behaviour or using any sexualised language.

What do I do?

OP posts:
Stormyweatheroutthere · 26/11/2024 09:38

Likely he won't be told it's inappropriate. Make sure your dd knows she can confide anything to you. Or make sure she has already bathed before she goes...

Scareofgettingthiswrong · 26/11/2024 09:43

I always bathe her before she goes but he does it anyway. He always has. He says it is because he likes to do her hair and make it smooth (I tend to rough dry and then plait it).

OP posts:
Bridgetomalley · 26/11/2024 11:13

I wouldn't be happy about this OP.
You could try phoning the NSPCC help line: it offers help and advice.

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