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I hate working with this woman

18 replies

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 26/11/2024 09:27

She’s exhausting. She complains. Moans any any responsibility she has to take on which are PART of her role. She moans that she hasn’t recieved a pay uplift because she hasn’t hit her targets anyway. She talks about people in front of them. She’s just plain nasty. It never needs

I then work with another woman who has regular panic attacks at work. I do understand that it’s hard and emotional but it impacts my MH because often I’ll have to ask if she’s okay and she tells me certain things then cries and wells up and I personally don’t feel I’m the right person to listen. But I do it. Yesterday evening she went into full blown panic with shaky breathing etc. I thought it was a cardiac arrest genuinely. She’s morbidly obese so I panicked. She was then okay later but she cried for at least an hour with me and I don’t have the mental capacity to cope with it.

Im leaving and want to just go off sick but I know it’s not the right thing to do. How do I get through this

OP posts:
CrispyCrumpets · 26/11/2024 09:31

Can you wear headphones? Honestly I'd just try to ignore as much as possible and if you are concerned about a colleague's health it needs escalating to her line manager.

Silenus · 26/11/2024 09:32

Are you their line manager? I mean, there an actual reason that you need to listen to or deal with either of these colleagues?

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 26/11/2024 09:33

Silenus · 26/11/2024 09:32

Are you their line manager? I mean, there an actual reason that you need to listen to or deal with either of these colleagues?

No. I’ve tried to block it out so much but she finds me and vents about things. Or just cries. I can’t explain how mentally draining it is (when I already have low moods at this time of year) to then have to deal with that

OP posts:
SweetSixty · 26/11/2024 09:35

Tell your boss what's happening, tell her it's making you feel ill and that if something isn't done to protect you from what is really an unbearable situation for which you aren't qualified you will be unable to work out your notice. Ask for a plan. Put it in writing. If nothing's done, don't work your notice.

DebtinVegas · 26/11/2024 09:41

CrispyCrumpets · 26/11/2024 09:31

Can you wear headphones? Honestly I'd just try to ignore as much as possible and if you are concerned about a colleague's health it needs escalating to her line manager.

Honestly, I think this is the best advice you’re going to get. I can imagine it’s frustrating and you need to vent, but you’re better off telling someone who can actually do something about it and / or resolving to be firmer and more assertive or you will just have to live with it. If you are leaving, hopefully it won’t be a problem for much longer.

Soonenough · 26/11/2024 09:47

How are these people managing to have a job ? What line of work are you in ? Unless they report directly to you , tell one to shut up moaning and the other that you will go get someone to help.

Cardinalita90 · 26/11/2024 09:55

If the woman is having regular panic attacks then there needs to be some sort of adjustment or plan in place with management to help manage this in the workplace. If its happening often could you raise with your LM in a 121 and say that you felt out of your depth when she had a panic attack recently and is there a procedure that should be followed (eg a particular manager to be made aware) at the time one happens. If they say no, tell them there should be as you are not equipped to deal with it and its causing you anxiety. This should spur some action.

walltowallkents · 26/11/2024 10:27

For the nasty one, I would just make sarcastic comments: “oh no you’re not being asked to do your actual job at your actual job, are you? How terrible!”, “you’re not getting a promotion despite meeting no targets? Who could believe the injustice?”.

As for the crying one, I think I would just start crying too 😂😂 Wail as loud as you can and drown her out. Hopefully she won’t come to you again!

MyYorkie · 30/11/2024 13:35

I wouldn't be mean to them that's just awful and bitchy.

The poor women probably might have a undiagnosed Panic Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which are medical conditions that may require special actions. It's obvious that's the lady need some "reasonable accommodations" putting in place rather than coming to you, and HR will need to become better acquainted.

Same goes for the moaning lady, she's obviously having her own issues too,

HR needs to do better.

Dinkydo12 · 30/11/2024 14:45

Would defo report that your colleague is having difficulties HR should be able to help her. The company has a duty of care. The other problem I think, everytime she moaned I would say how happy I am with my job and if she is nasty about other people say something nice about them. Also there's the old saying if you cannot say something nice SHUTUP or words to that effect.

JollyZebra · 30/11/2024 15:09

I agree that you should notify HR if your colleague is having difficulties, but I would tell her first that to you need to do so because you are not best placed to help her. If she continues to get panic attacks etc around you, call your first aider or line manager to cope and step back.

As for the other, advise her that you can't change things for her, she has to speak to management if she's not happy. If she continues, repeat it and walk away.

Failing that, you need to speak to management and HR about the effect they are having on your mental health - think of yourself, first.

WendyA22 · 30/11/2024 15:28

Soonenough · 26/11/2024 09:47

How are these people managing to have a job ? What line of work are you in ? Unless they report directly to you , tell one to shut up moaning and the other that you will go get someone to help.

Maybe introduce them to each other. Give the moaner something to moan about and the emotional one will have someone to talk to

ValentinesDayCryingInTheHotel · 30/11/2024 15:36

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 26/11/2024 09:33

No. I’ve tried to block it out so much but she finds me and vents about things. Or just cries. I can’t explain how mentally draining it is (when I already have low moods at this time of year) to then have to deal with that

With the second women, I think you need to head it off at the pass.

As she approaches you, hands up in front of you as if to say stop, "Oh I'm sorry Gina, I just can't support you today, I am mentally drained at the moment and I really can't muster any energy for emotional support. In fact, I could do with somebody to talk to about xyz...." and then consider talking AT her about your problems. She'll soon find an excuse to exit...

Julimia · 30/11/2024 17:01

Do you think it may be you who also needs to stop moaning and just get o with the job in hand?
...just saying.

ThePerkyCoralPoet · 30/11/2024 20:05

Julimia · 30/11/2024 17:01

Do you think it may be you who also needs to stop moaning and just get o with the job in hand?
...just saying.

No not really….

OP posts:
TheaBrandt · 30/11/2024 20:16

Op isn’t the one having dramatic panic attacks at work or making nasty comments though is she 🙄

Patienceinshortsupply · 30/11/2024 20:24

Panic attack lady - sit her down where she's safe and then go find someone senior. Every single time. She's not your responsibilty and shunt it on to someone who is. It's not your place to deal with her MH issues.

Moaning Myrtle - I would head off with a change of conversation, don't engage or enable her moaning. Gosh, hasn't the morning gone quickly. Isn't it super warm in here today, my house is freezing in comparison. Ooh, have you seen the M & S christmas range of food, I can't decide what to order. Just chat shit and she'll soon get bored of losing her sound board. It's kinder than saying fuck off and shows you want to talk to her.

Miaminmoo · 01/12/2024 01:16

Sorry you’re going through this, don’t you have anyone to escalate it to? I employ staff and I would expect them to let me know if their colleagues were getting on their nerves.

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