Ugly and old

[Anotherdayanotherbattle]

I avoid mirrors as much as I can . When I do have to look im not really looking. Yesterday my Facebook locked me out for security reasons and made me take a short video of my face . Which seemed odd. Anyway I did it. And I look so old and ugly. My face has dropped . I have thrown lines my skin is pasty I look like im in my 70s at least when I'm 47.

I don't wear make up have not done so since I was around 20. Its not something I want to do

I would not mind looking my age but to look 20+ years older is shit . I know some people say this sort of thiing and it turns out nit to be as bad as they say. But uts totally true in my case.

I'm just fed up of looking old and washed out

Well OP I've avoided mirrors all my life: I've always hated my appearance and myself. When I was a teenager I used to drape a cloth over the mirror in my room. These days I look in the mirror long enough to put my make up on and have a quick glance before I leave home to make sure my hair is tidy and that's it .
BUT for me it's a life long mental health issue . It sounds for you it is a redeemable situation involving taking on board the fact that, like every other person, you are getting older. But there are definitely things you can do to make the best of your appearance whilst accepting your " best" is different from when you were younger.
Try things like a skin care regime , try experimenting with a little make up. And don't forget that what you see in the mirror is not what others see. They don't see the imperfections you are seeing.

Everyone hates how they look in photos so I’m sure you don’t look as bad as you think but get yourself to Aldi and get some Lacura Rejuvinate night cream. It’s £3.something and is a miracle 😊.

It has been a forever thing with me to . I think it just triggered because I had to move my face slowly from side to side slowly. So it couldn't escape it. I don't look in the mirror at my hair either. I will get over it. No choice really

I'm sure you are such a lovely person, those bloody phone cameras make me look like a dried up prune! But when I look in my own mirror (once a year lol 😉) I stand well back and can usually pass for a half decent mugshot. But any closer than 5 ft and it's all over! I'm 67 and don't give much of a rat's arse anymore, but deep down I suppose we all do.

Solidarity!

I am absolutely certain that you don’t look as bad as you think you do op!

For women, the deterioration in our facial features as we age is quite hard to take I think, especially if we were reasonably attractive when young, so I have a lot sympathy for you op 💐

Equally, it’s simply not going to get better for many of us. And imho it’s better to accept it and focus on bodily health, as that will be reflected in your face.

Also, writing a gratitude journal at night and including some of the amazing things a functioning body does for us. Apparently doing this has an amazing effect on our brain chemistry and helps to change our outlook. I am only two months in so can’t say for sure that this works, but worth a go! 😀

Actually it's not a bad thing to avoid mirrors generally, although I sincerely doubt that you look as though you're in your seventies.

I’m the same. It’s a horrible feeling isn’t it?
My DHs camera on his phone has this weird feature where it can tell your age and sex. I’m mid 40s female, and it said I was a 59 year old male when I looked at it!. I got everyone else to look at it and everyone else was more or less accurate with age and always right with sex. That was a bad day.
Im just trying to accept it. There’s nothing I can do to change it. In a world where a lot of people put a lot of value on beauty it’s very hard though.

I look terrible until I smile so I always make sure to do that at myself in the mirror if I think I'm looking really dreadful.

I don’t like the videos in shops that are recording me while at the self-checkout. Worse than any mirror! I’m looking old now. But, hey, that’s my future! I did look lovely once upon a time…

@Havalona Did you feel like this when you were op’s age? You’re 20 years older than op, at 67 it’s not quite the same as feeling this way at 47

I'm afraid I did. I had a serious illness in my early 30s that kind of ravaged me for life! But I got through that and unfortunately the devastation of that illness combined with the unstoppable natural ageing process is NOT a good look on me, and hasn't been for many years now.

I had some treatments and so on and they helped a bit, but honestly since I lost a huge chunk of my body weight back then (some came back but not enough!), my face kind of collapsed! It's the first place that serious weight loss manifests. Think of the hollowed out cheek and sunken eyes look. That was, and to an extent still is me.

But what can I do? I just do my best with self care and get on with it. I am surrounded by loving people, that's enough for me now.

This thread as made my morning just a bit better.

I’m only 40, generally considered attractive enough and most people think I’m younger than my age IRL but MY GOD that selfie camera makes me look like a vile troll from hell. They should be illegal.

Feel the same here. Doesnt help I have a huge blob of a nose.
UPCircle products have helped a bit,especially the Peptide Serum but I guess it's just the way I look. Am going to shave all my hair off end of December to get rid of the dye and start over.

I was sorry to read in your update OP that this has been a long term thing for you.

Personally my situation was originally very much to do with unsupportive parents and in particular a very critical mother. And through my life I've not had friends I've been comfortable enough with sharing how I feel about myself . Much as I love my son to bits I would have loved to have had a daughter that I could talk to about things like hair styles and skin care etc.

So I wondered whether you had female friends or relatives in real life that you could talk to about how you feel about yourself and your appearance? In particular with anti ageing strategies. Some one who could be critical in a constructive supportive way to help you make the most of your self and feel better about the ageing process?

Sounds simlar in a way. I don't have any friends. When I did i was always the one who has the frizzy hair freckles struggled with weight always the ugly one out of the others . And the dopey uneducated to go along with it

Are you ok ? 💐

I'm 47. I look it.

My mum is in her (late) seventies.

Unless you have grey or white hair, have wrinkles on your wrinkles and have lost some teeth and have sunken cheeks as a result I strongly doubt you look like you are in your seventies.

(Yes I am sure there are people in their seventies who look like models. Not many of them!)

I have a challenge, I haven’t had the balls to do it. But someone said you should stand naked in front of the mirror for 5 mins every day then after the 5mins say all the things you like about yourself.

i think the first few times you won’t really get any positive comments but slowly over time you are suppose to appreciate your body / mind more.

That's exactly what I look like. I have lost teeth. My face has dropped and droopy I do have white frizzy hair.

Oh no way. That would cause deep hate .