What do you spend on your teenagers?

[Newstart2024]

We have three children but I keep hearing how expensive teenagers are…. When they’re all at school their childcare costs me £250 pro rata a month… holidays, clothes etc on top. Eldest is currently 7.
They also do some activities like music and swimming maybe that’s another £200 a month.
How expensive are teenagers do they cost more than that?
Mine are all girls so mostly get a reasonable amount of hand me downs from one to the other!

Of course you don't have to spend it if you choose not to, it's your choice but I was giving an idea of the kind of things they'll be asking for or that their peers will have. Fitting in can mean a lot to teenagers, unfortunately. If I can get ds a couple of bits that makes him feel like part of the pack then I will because I know how crap it feels not to have that stuff. He doesn't get everything he wants either, by any stretch.

I don't know where you would get a pair of 'reasonable' mens sized trainers for £40 these days. I'm not sending him to school supermarket trainers, it's just not fair to do that if you can avoid it. Until you have teenagers maybe you don't realise how important that kind of stuff can be to them. We don't have lots of people giving him Xmas money either.

Literally everything is so expensive now, we're basically funding a household of 4 adults with only 2 salaries.

He's only just turned 14 so a part time job isn't an option for a couple of years at least. I worked from 14 too but nowhere locally employs children.

I don't feel like we spend loads on DS, but equally it all probably adds up.

Packed lunches for school.
No childcare as we both WFH (and DS is older now anyway).
No extracurricular fees currently as he enjoys running with us.
Bus pass is a fortune, over £700 per year.
School trip this year is £700 I think (but obviously optional).
Clothes not crazy as he's not worried about brands.
We stick to a budget for birthday (£150) and Christmas (£250 including 1st Dec box, advent calendar, stocking, and Christmas presents).
We buy big ticket items like bikes, phones, iPads etc. when needed.
We sometimes do big days out - a show in London or the Harry Potter studio tour, but more often we'll do smaller more local days out.

It's like everything I suppose - you cut your cloth according to what you have available, and how much you value different things.

Don’t forget the dentist!
And the reciprocal birthday presents, you never make it back.

18yo DD’s school trip last year cost several hundred and it wasn’t even abroad.
Clothes, shoes and toiletries maybe £100 a month. She’s still finding her style so we buy cheap but lots.
Books, pizza out and cinema, sleepovers and snacks for “study dates” £50?
Refurbed phone and minimum contract. £15?

Driving lessons from July. That’s another bottomless pit!

I suppose only having one helps us.

And yes, DS isn't particularly demanding about most things, but apparently £20 is the going rate for friend's birthdays.

And we might shell out for private braces soon.

Monthly costs are:

£80 allowance - make up, fancy skincare, some clothes, food with friends, train fare into town
£30 gym
£30 phone
£30 lunch money
£80 tutor

We obviously also buy the bigger things like a winter coat, walking boots, trainers. Recently had to upgrade laptop for schoolwork.

Teens are pricey!

A lot!!
I have one DC (19 years) at Uni. We are required to top up his student loan by £500 a month so the accommodation is covered. He works to pay for everything else.
DC (16 yrs) is not much better - tutoring for A levels £140 a month, DofE £30 a month, then rugby fees, uniform (£50 for a blazer), shoes (mens), Trainers, stud boots, phone, clothes, laptop, another adult to feed, gym membership..

Probably spend £1000 a month on both together.

Yes, university will be a while other kettle of fish. What a nightmare.

Uni is extremely expensive (min loan, so I’m topping up accommodation by £5k a yr, plus £100 a week living costs) and agree with what pp have said that teens often prefer 1-2 of the precise thing they want, which can be expensive, vs the similar looking but not cool items. I also think the allure of family holidays can wane, so a family- wide decision that that’s where the money is going makes sense, but you can expect at least a few holidays with teens in the hotel room, or on a sun lounger glued to their phone. It’s a shift.

The main difference for me is the big, one-off items, such as school trips, prom, help to buy a car. My DC have worked from 14/15 so tend to buy their own clothes, other than essentials, or have them as presents and fund their own social lives. I have taught them to drive with a few lessons to 'polish' them up. It doesn't have to be hugely expensive.

We've managed expectations re learning to drive and getting a car - we both learned as adults as we didn't feel we need to earlier due to living in a city for uni etc. I also know someone who learned to drive when younger, then didn't feel confident later when they actually needed to have a car. I think it can feel like a rite of passage, but there are different times to do it I think.

I do think that having jobs has taught my DC the value of money, as well as getting involved in working out a budget for holidays / days out. They know you can't have it all and have no wish to keep up with anyone, and don't judge anyone for what they wear either. If you can get that message across early then the teen years needn't be any worse than the early years when they needed childcare.

A fortune!

£120/150 a month - Guitar lessons

£240 a month allowance (between me abd dh).

£30 - monthly phone bill

Various £10's and £20's here and there for fares, food out, guitar repairs, tickets etc.

Ds has just started a job however so come the NY his allowance will cease and guitar lessons and phone bill will be funded by him. We will still obviously help him out here and there if necessary.

They cost a varying amount. I didn’t go on school trips except one as a teenager, my mum had other spending priorities so I paid for it with my wages from my part time job.
Didn’t have designer clothes and anything like a specific pair of jeans/coat I was hankering after was a Christmas or birthday present. Didn’t go to uni and worked full time and paid rent. Bought my own toiletries and food until I moved out at 18.
My teens cost me a lot because we have the money and I don’t begrudge spending on them. The older 2 both work, one is at uni and has a job when she comes home and the other has left college and doing an apprenticeship. The older one costs us around 1K a month in living expenses, the second one costs us far less but I give her petrol money (apprenticeships pay very little!). We pay phone bills for all. We bought the older 2 cars and paid for lessons amd
tests etc because we knew it would bring them more opportunities.
Youngest plays football so not a huge outlay, £200ish a year to be registered? Not sure but something like that. He’s growing fast and seems to need new boots pretty regularly. He’s going on a school ski trip in a few months and then another to Cornwall in the summer.
Holidays cost a lot now we are essentially 5 adults but we will pay for them all as long as they still want to come with us.
Christmas and birthdays we spend a lot on the dc but take them as a chance to update tech if needed.
Most of the above is just nice to be able to do, it’s not essential and if we couldn’t afford it we’d cut back.
So although I don’t think teens have to cost a fortune, I admit we spend a lot on ours but it’s because we want to and we can.

Mine are 13 and 11 (both girls)

Dd1...
Scouts £10 per month plus camps 3 to 4 times a year, from free to £500 for a trip to Poland (one off!). Mostly around £30.
Climbing £17 per week
Clothes... its hard to say. But now in adult sizes... even the plain black shorts she needed were £15 yesterday...
School trips... just shelling out £550 for a watersports trip
Phone £5 a month

DD2
Scouts £12 per month plus camps (her group seems to favour more expensive ones, cheapest has been £30)
Rugby £75 per year
Clothes See above
School trips... no big ones thus year but lots of little ones. £20 here and there does add up
Phone £5 a month

They take packed lunch as we've got better things to spend £40 a week on.
Their school has lots of free activities too, like the school musical.

The difference between tees and smaller children is that a lot of the costs are optional. You can't opt out of nursery fees in the same way

I have two teens:

Approx £150 per month for extra curriculars
£40 weekly tuition for one
£35 per week for school dinners / snacks
£100 4 weekly pocket money
£30 4 weekly haircuts
£50 monthly gym memberships
£50 monthly mobile phone
Clothes / shoes / trips / uniforms as needed and they have been in adult sizes since approximately age 12.
Also costs a lot to feed them these days.

I’m not sure how this compares to the childcare years. At one point I had two in day nursery which wasn’t financial fun.

Encourage them to get a job as young as possible so that they understand the value of money!

My DCs mates weren't into expensive clothes and anyway they are in uniform most of the time. Secondary school offered loads of clubs and activities which were all free compared to at primary age you generally had to pay for them.

I gave mine a monthly allowance to pay for clothes, lunches and a social life. I can't remember how much it was but maybe £300 a month?

From Y8 we paid for tutoring in a few subjects. This was expensive, around £30/hour.

There are lots of school trips on offer so you can pick and choose what you like according to your budget. Some cost £2k plus even in state schools!!! Mine did a short trip to Paris by coach and a foreign exchange swap.

I honestly can't even fathom where it all goes, I just know that it goes way faster than when I was paying for childcare!

Don't forget you may also be saving for Uni costs by the time they are in secondary school.

We have 5 and are burning through money !! Clothes, shoes ( all adult sizes ), music lessons, school trips, outings and events , sports ( rugby, football , GAA) , golf membership , driving lessons , driving test fees, car insurance , university fees ( 2k euro a year - great value ) , FOOD and the biggest expense of all is holidays !

I think when you don't have teens yet it's easy to say oh I'll just buy cheap trainers blah blah but when you have the kids that you love more than anything just wanting to fit in with their friends and be one of girls/lads it's a lot different in practice to say no when I were a lass I got cheap cheap shoes and you will too.

Mine doesn't give a crap about trainers! His friends aren't the type that would make fun of him for not fitting in either, I'd tell him to get better friends if they were.

One of my teens doesn't care either, one does. It's not that her friends would make fun of her, it's just that she herself wants to fit in or be like everyone else. It's pretty normal for some teens to be that way, I've surprised you never heard of it or noticed it before.

It's not really about getting made fun of or kids taking the piss, it's about fitting in, expressing identity with their peers and a sense of belonging. It can be a confidence boost to wear what they perceived to be 'cool' too which helps self esteem and acceptance. It's always been like this.

I've just had a horribly miserable convo with DD1 about her being friendly to me.
I asked her whether she had a tutor session (£55/hr) this weekend and she snapped back that it's NEXT weekend (eyeroll) and why do I keep asking her about this! I pushed back on her rudeness and we've had a horrible session about how she can make the effort to be friendly and cheerful since:
-the heating/hot water is on whenever she wants (£75/month)
-the electricity and internet are functioning 24/7 (£25/£17)
-I've fixed the flashing lights on the d/w (needed rinse aid, etc)
-she's having tutoring at £55/week
-I'm paying for car ins. so we can drive in carparks (and she's shredding my clutch)
-I buy basic clothes like socks and pants and even basic T-shirts and jeans (she works at the local so buys the brands)
-I don't demand all her wages be paid into my account (she's a minor so technically, they're mine!)
-I redecorated her room over half-term: we did this together and I paid for all the materials plus my time over 2 weeks.

I'm happy to spend on her but I do expect positive interaction from a creature I love and support. I feel trapped since if I don't invest now in tutors for A level scores, driving lessons, university fees, I'll just be paying later on down the line. Or my beautiful girl will live in a box on the street.

At her age, my divorced parents had no beans to rub together and I knew never to ask for anything. I got by on the kindess of slightly more solvent relatives who felt sorry for me and my sister.