I’m not sure how to word what I’m feeling. My DH and I have 2 children, 15 and 12.
Both kids play a sport 3 times a week, and DH is one of the team coaches so is always with one of the kids at the sport, and planning/coordinating games in between times.
DH plays his own sport once a week and takes part in competitions maybe once a month at a weekend.
15 year old talks constantly. It’s non stop and almost always about teenage things like teachers, teenage chat (who is dating who) but mostly about people I don’t know of. But it is non stop. Doesn’t matter if you are watching something, or reading.
Youngest has a disability which required constant alertness from me and DH, and has definitely shifted dynamics in our relationship.
Then there’s me. I work FT in a fairly senior role. I travel with work usually once a week overnight. My job is demanding, but I can mostly switch off in evenings and weekends.
I find all my free time is taken up with moving kids around to where they need to be, walking the dogs, housework, jobs that need done around the house (things needing fixed, clothes needing cleaned out as kids grown out, writing cheques for clubs etc). There’s just not much down time. It’s like being on a hamster wheel and no matter how much you do, there’s always more. I get to a gym class twice a week and have a long run at the weekend.
DH thinks he does half of what’s required, but realistically it’s probably a quarter. But he doesn’t see the jobs that need doing. He works hard, also FT, but also works into the evening for perhaps 3/4 evenings a week. He earns half of what I do. So whilst he is working, or coaching or playing sport, I’m here picking up what needs doing.
When we do spend time together, he is often so tired he isn’t particularly chatty. Which makes me not want to do things just the two of us. It’s like a vicious cycle.
I see friends perhaps every couple of months based on everyone’s busy schedules and we are all spread over (but chat most days via WA). DH is kind of the same. We have so little childcare and the kids sporting commitments mean it’s a headache to arrange things most of the time, and my youngest’s disability mean it isn’t easy to ask anyone for help.
I just feel a bit tired of this being my life. I feel like I serve everyone else to allow them to do what they want, and that’s my existence.
Is this life with a teenage family? Do I just continue to ride it out?