Do people but houses for status?

[mids2019]

I have family in a large city who had a really nice detached Edwardian house in a really good area (well known), 4 bedrooms, good schools etc

Now they have moved to a larger property in a very desirable part of the area (again very known and peppered with 5M+ properties) and it seems they have just moved to get the postcode and a little more room not that it was needed. I think they are more than happy to tell anyone of the area they now live in and I think they want to project a face of 'we have made it life ' with the purchase.

Just curious do people but honestly with pragmatism in mind, enough bedrooms, garden, good schools, low crime rates etc. or is there a point where it's all about the status?

(obviously the aristocracy have done this for centuries but is this a bit more universal?)

Now they have moved to a larger property in a very desirable part of the area (again very known and peppered with 5M+ properties) and it seems they have just moved to get the postcode and a little more room not that it was needed. I think they are more than happy to tell anyone of the area they now live in and I think they want to project a face of 'we have made it life ' with the purchase.

Why does it matter? I'm only concerned about what I have, not what other people have. The only (slightly and fleeting) envy I have is for anyone that has an indoor pool because I want one but will never have one (unless I win the lottery).

Their reasons for buying it are probably not the same reasons you feel it is, but if it was it still wouldn't matter. If that what makes them happy then that's what they should have.

I also have no issue with people 'bragging' about what they have achieved or bought because neither of those things make a jot of difference about what I have achieved or bought.

I always find these sort of threads interesting, they come up quite frequently, always aimed at ‘normal’ people living in a property which exceeds their needs, for example a couple living in a large house when a one bedroom flat would apparently suffice, no one ever questions why David and Victoria Beckham for arguments sake don’t live in a 2 bed flat now they only have Harper at home, it’s just us normal folk who have done well who are questioned for having a nice large house.

It wasnt really a criticism but an observation.

I think in this case family money was involved in the purchase but there was still a portrayal of their success. I think the thing that possibly was a little off putting was being given an unasked for tour as it just seemed to be fishing for compliments for them being wealthy?

There seems to be crassness about discussing money in the bank of salary but the 'show' of the big house is acceptable. People don't wave Rolexes in your face and expect compliments but houses...

This post reminded me a long time ago when I just came to UK for a PhD degree. During a Christmas do, a late professor said that he lived in a 4 bed house although he and his wife only had 1 child. When he told me that, I quipped with "why did you need to have a house with so many rooms when there are only 3 of you in the family? What is the point?". I don't remember what his reply was but I am 100% sure he slightly raised his eyebrows when he heard my question 😆 My impression is that there are always people who do care a lot about status and try to show this in one or more forms, no matter which culture you are from. Each to their own. Perhaps some people need more validation from others?

This is where DH and I differ. I was perfectly comfortable in our house - modern interior, completely done up by the previous owners, enough rooms even with both WFH (not separate offices but in the spare bedroom and lounge). He said I lacked ambition by not wanting something bigger and better 🤷🏽‍♀️ We’ve moved to a do-er upper a few minutes away - it has ‘potential’ but delays in funding and planning mean we are living in uncomfortable conditions for over a year. It’s drafty, energy inefficient and the heating can only be switched on from the garage which is attached to but not accessible from inside the house. I often wish he had been satisfied with what we had and stayed where we were.

oh god, I hope no one who visited our house when we bought it thought I was fishing for compliments about how wealthy we are? I was just excited about my new house!
For sure some folks will upsize “stuff” for external validation/bragging rights but others will have completely different reasons for buying a bigger house/expensive car etc.
You sound like you don’t like these people much and that’s fine, their values don’t chime with yours but that hardly makes it a cultural phenomenon

It seems to me men desire a 'status' car a little more than women but in terms buying desirable property is there an equal desire between gendsrs?

I think the thing that possibly was a little off putting was being given an unasked for tour as it just seemed to be fishing for compliments for them being wealthy?

Before you arrived, I imagine the conversation was something like "Let's give the cat's bum a tour and REALLY wind her up!" 🤣 🤣

OP your posts are dripping with judgement and jealousy, no matter how much you pretend they aren't.

I think you are moralising. Tedious. Reverse snobbery.

Out of interest, if for example, Lewis Hamilton told you he lived in a 4 bedroom house, just him and his dogs, would you have said the same? It just seems to me people who question where Joe Public live it’s because they don’t like them getting out of their box because it reflects on them not having achieved the same, they compare themselves to Joe Public but not to the rich, or the rich and famous who seem to be given a free pass on their multiple mega mansions, the rest of us have to stay in our lane.

You're also helping the environment and the housing crisis.

I think it's very much down to the individual to how they view their home.

I can't say I have many friends who use a house as a way to show their wealth however. You can be asset rich but cash poor.

I do have some colleagues who's idea of success is a house on a particular newbuild area that's their perogative. Personally I hate new builds and that area is all keeping up with the Jones attitude which I also CBA with but that's just me.

Maybe.
Women will buy designer handbags or jewellery more than cars, maybe?
The funny thing is that many men seem to buy cars to impress women when many women don't care.

" but the 'show' of the big house is acceptable. "

It's a bit expected by visitors as well so not necessarily the hosts being boastful.

I once got a lift with a former colleague who'd just bought an Audi TT. The number of women checking him out as he drove past was astounding.

This attitude is probably why houses are so over-priced and used for speculation though. It's not as bad in some other countries. A house should be a home first and foremost.

I see.
I can't recognise different brands of cars and I thought I wasn't the only woman in that situation.

Ambition, lol.

We didn't move when we could have as the status doesn't bother us one little bit.

It would have been a shrewd investment though!

If we were to downsize now, we won't release much equity by the time we've bought a new place, paid fees and costs to move, plus stamp duty. If we had a much bigger place then than downsize would release a lot more in ££££££.

Assuming prices increase, as they have during our ownership.

If I had the money, I'd buy a very large plot of land and build a number of modern houses for ourselves and our families. There would be an indoor and outdoor pool and a mini bar/club.

It wouldn't be for status, but simply a nice way to live.

In Bali that's the traditional way for families to live - i.e. a walled compound/garden containing multiple bungalows for all the family.

I had a male friend when I was about 20 who worked for a local paper. He was loaned a Ferrari for a weekend to report on and had access to the local track to test drive. He dumped our regular weekend engagement as he was going to "pull all the chicks". 😆

Anyway, fast forward to Sunday morning, and a Ferrari pulls up outside our house - much to the amusement of the local net curtain twitchers - and it was my mate who had failed completely in his aim and decided it might be quite nice to share the experience with a friend!

In your opinion.

You are incredibly jealous of this family member. What a bitter post. Presumably it's because you can't afford similar, so you're hoping for validation that they must be pretentious arses. Essentially so you can sound out whether you can get away with "oh, I'm not interested in paying for a postcode" as the reason you have a far less valuable property as if you've chosen not to have a house like theirs, rather than admitting you couldn't afford it even if you wanted it?

Each to their own but for me, being mortgage free at the age of 40 years old has been a far greater benefit in my life than getting back on that wagon and having a much bigger home.

We live in a modest 3 bed semi, worth around £300k. We could afford a 600k -750k house if we got a mortgage but there is only 2 of us and, unless I really saw a house I loved, I am not moving for the sake of it.

Not having that monthly mortgage bill has meant we have had some great holidays in the last few years and, if anything ever happened at work either of us could take a break and it not matter. That is freedom to me and worth far more than an impressive home. Saying that, albeit small, my home is lovely and stylish in it's own way. We have quality finish and it shows.

DS had a schoolmate whose parents had a jaw dropping house. Some of the gate mums were utterly ludicrous. "Ooh, well if I had three houses" or "I'll never be able to have him for tea". DS went there for tea. I just said "this is nice, we usually pay to visit houses like this". We laughed and became good school mum friends. People bitched her up dreadfully and nobody was poor.

Reminds me of the episode in Outnumbered where the little girl does a poo in the bidet at the posh house.