Is this a sad way to live?

[PollysKettlesOn]

I’m 30 and I have no friends, not one. Not even an acquaintance. I work by myself so no colleagues either but I’m so so happy.

This time last year life was very different, I had a group of 5 friends I was very close to. We did everything together including holidays. Then I fell out with one of them and the rest of the group followed and we haven’t spoken in a year. I’m surprised we managed to be friends as I’ve always struggled with friendships.

I always felt pressure in friendships with the underlining completion “who will marry first, get pregnant, buy a house etc”. I always felt like they made me feel my time was running out because I wasn’t keeping up. I’ve been single since I was 25.

In the past year, I’ve become really happy in my own company and not having to check in but also listen to other people’s problems. It’s been refreshing rather than lonely. I like the quietness of it all. I don’t drink anymore so I’m happy at home with a good book or a show. I don’t have a partner either. I’m an extroverted person- happy to talk to anyone and engage but not interested in “friendships”.

But my family are concerned I have no friends so I guess that’s making me think twice. I think they think I’m weird and that I’m lonely despite me telling them I’m not. My SIL made a comment the other day that if I “died tomorrow you’d only have us at your funeral”.

is it weird to never want a relationship or friendship again? I can’t imagine it ever happening and I’m fine with that. I did want children a few years ago, but I have PCOS and those feelings have passed.

It's great if you feel happy- you seem to. But do you have anyone to share stuff with? Your SIL doesn't sound nice at all. Are the rest of your family nice?
When you're older especially, it would be risky just to rely on your brother. Your friends don't sound pleasant if all they did was compete & complain. No wonder you feel happier without them. Being happy in your own company is a great gift.
But I do believe a few good friends would make you even happier. You don't need a partner to be happy. If you change your mind about that, you can look for one.

Do whatever makes you happy OP. If you're happy alone, then that's absolutely fine.

I don't understand why your ex SIL is making such personal comments. Is there any reason why you're still in contact with her? She doesn't sound very nice.

You're happy, that's a fantastic way to live.

Your happy, it doesn’t have to look like what other people think is happy. I only really have family to talk to. I moved around a lot and people don’t seem to take to me easily so never made new friends and lost touch with the old. Yet I’m happy.

When you are dead you are hardly going to care about who is or who isn’t at your funeral!

Live the life that makes you happy.
Sil sounds envious of your contentment and independence.

Ignore your SIL. As long as you are happy that is all that matters, and it's really nothing to do with anyone else. There are people who have lots of friends and yet are not happy.

I love being on my own too. I get it.

I was single for about 8 years in my late 20s and it was brilliant - did a lot of travelling and partying. You don't have to rely on other people for your own happiness.

All that matters is that you are happy. No one else’s opinion matters.

You say you’re happy…. That’s all there is to it.

i couldn’t live such an insular life but if you’re happy then that is all that matters. Plenty of people will tell you they have 25/50/100+ friends but I guarantee they only have 5 when push comes to shove. We live a life with lots of friends in various circles - 50+ - but my wallet was stolen a few weeks ago and I only had a handful of friends who I could ask for £100 until my new cards came through - we live in the sticks so it was 40miles to the banks