If you don’t let your kids participate in activities at school…

[Soubriquet]

Why not?

Every time there’s a workshop, or an event happening in school (today was children doing dance for Diwali), there is always a couple of children who are sitting to the side because their parents haven’t given permission for them to participate. I always feel sorry for them watching all their classmates have fun when they aren’t allowed to. It’s one thing to decline photos being taken of them, but why not allow them to do the activity?

Why do parents have to give permission to participate in such activities during school hours? We don't have to give permission for this, unless is out of school hours or involves food. I think the most likely explanation is that they forgot to fill the form giving permission? It shouldnt have to be so complicated...

Guessing a religious or cultural disagreement?
the only thing I would object to would be anything trans / drag queen related personally

The school just has these children sitting there? They don't find them other stuff to do, that sounds really rubbish and I've never seen that at any of the schools I've worked at. Although none of the schools I've worked at would ask for parental permission for something like a dancing workshop either?

I honestly don’t know why. Probably because they bring in outside help. For example today, a Hindu dancer came in to teach the children how to do the dancing, what it all means and what not, and then at the end, all the parents are invited to watch.

I agree this sounds quite unusual if it’s in school hours, surely anything religious is covered in mainstream schools without permission?

I agree with pp- permission slips at my kids schools were for activities that require payment or not on school property.

I could imagine eg Jehovahs Witnesses sitting out religious stuff?

In my experience it's normally Jehovah's Witnesses who don't allow participation in those types of events. Every other faith I've worked with has been happy for their child to learn about others.

Do you know that it's a permission issue and not that the children don't want to perform?

I don’t think you can be so sure that it’s due to lack of parental consent. Sometimes it might be that the child opted out themselves. Or for SEN reasons. You can’t possibly know for sure. You’re just making a quick judgement.

Possibly. I had just assumed it was parental permission because we all get the form. Plus my children used to tell me they X and Y weren’t allowed to do so. Or that B couldn’t do it cos he was naughty that day so lost out etc etc

I wasn't allowed to join in certain things for religious reasons (christianity). I remember being so jealous of everyone else getting henna on their hands for one event.

My oldest wasn't allowed to do anything religious at school because I didn't want her to join in with anything preachy (we're non-religious) but it was a blanket permission/denial so all religious activities had to be out (they never do anything interesting though, it's always just Lutheran church stuff) but she started to feel left out so I gave the blanket permission for my youngest (and now he's obsessed with Jesus...)

We are Jewish so why didn't let my kids go to the assembly run by the lunchtime prayer group as they'd actually be leading prayers. Otherwise I let them do anything they like - but as my daughter has anxiety she sometimes skips stuff if she can't handle it at the time. I wouldn't take anything your kid says too seriously though - children as so unreliable and wouldn't know any special accommodations etc anyway

There are some religious groups that opt their children out of everything (even RE) - Wee Frees, Plymouth Brethren, JWs are the ones I’m aware of.

Yes it is sad for the kids that they are getting left out, but it’s even more sad they are being brought up in a cult.

would That include the school going to a pantomime?

It's the "wee frees" - the very hardline protestant families in this area who would absolutely pull their kids out of this sort of thing. Their children were removed from sessions on yoga, mindfulness, all sex ed, and anything which suggested being gay was OK.

My parents were JW, they never allowed us to participate in much. It didn’t stop me learning every Christmas song or the words to every nativity though as I was sat outside with a book to read. They never thought to give me headphones. They wondered why I went NC with them 🙄.

Maybe the kids don't want to join in or do it?

My kid would always be sitting out at r r ye like this, she's autistic but you can't see it.

Also if it's a permission on the parent app such as arbour, some parents just forget to give consent. Is it the same children all the time?

At my DC school there were a few DC where parents did not give permission for them to take part in religious services or church visits. Most of the DC enjoyed these things because they usually involved some sort of fun participation from the children (acting out a story, singing etc), parents could come to watch, and there was quite often squash and biscuits afterwards. These children had to stay in a classroom with a TA or (for visits) sit in with a different class who were not going. As well as being boring it must have been very 'othering' for the children. I was particularly baffled because this was a Catholic school and there were loads of non-religious schools close by so if parents were so opposed to religion why on earth would they choose to send their DC to that school. It wasn't even that they could have ended up with that school by default as there was an additional application form to complete etc to get a place.

Very odd that the school are asking parents' permission for activities during school time?
I've only ever been asked permission for trips out of school or things that cost money.

100%. I want my children to grow up respecting women, not laughing at ‘comedy’ interpretations of us done by men in wigs with nasty undertones.

Yoga and mindfulness is gay? Huh?

DD has one child in her class who is Muslim and not allowed to participate in anything Christian e.g. Carol concert, visit to a local church.

She has another child who never goes on trips, apparently because he doesn't like them. However he also seemed to think he wasn't allowed to join in playing the recorder, which seemed odd, but maybe he just didn't want to!

The strict Plymouth Brethren don’t let their children join in much they can’t use computers or eat with other non Brethren children I think this is something to do with sharing a meal is like the last supper or communion. I remember meeting a teacher who said it was more difficult with those children than a lot of other religions. I think often they have their own schools. We had a child who was involved in a strict Christian church she could take part in the nativity play but not the Christmas Party because Father Christmas wasn’t allowed.

That's right, the Jehovah's witness child in my dc school does not go on the annual pantomime trip. They also won't take part in PTA fundraising activities, like no uniform day because they use the money raised to subsidise the trip.

They don't go to the Christmas party or take part in any RE lessons or assemblies that are religious. They also don't celebrate birthdays or attend birthday parties.