How to feel less lonely without making new friends?

[losenotloose]

I have some friends, a few close ones and some less so, but I often have a feeling that I'm missing out and a bit lonely. Some months there's lots going on but then there'll be a period where I don't see anyone for a while. Just people being busy etc but I would like something reliable in my diary that doesn't rely on these friends. I'd love to hear suggestions please! Thanks

Go to things on your own eg holiday, theatre, concerts etc. Or join groups around these areas.

CrossFit?

Basically joining a cult

Get a dog. I don’t mean that flippantly. I’m a single mum, and haven’t had a dog since I split with DS’s dad, but I wfh and now DS is older, I’m starting to think it’s time for a hound again. They just… fill the gaps. And get you out. A lot.

Do you live near a big river? Rowing is a great sport to get into if you have time - it's also very addictive!

I feel the same and have the same problems. It's really hard some times. I have friends but we can go weeks/months without seeing each other. I have a bike and go out on that or I just end up staying in watching tv. I've just joined an outdoor bootcamp too.

You'll always get told Hobbies and meet up groups, but it all depends on your area. Where I am has no book clubs unless you can meet during the day (I'm at work so that's not possible), walking groups again tend to be during the week as they're filled with retirees.

I went to gym classes but it was quite cliquey, they all knew each other and had been going for years. They were friendly enough but I never quite felt part of them.

The joy club online
The Village Hall online

Thanks for the suggestions. I have actually thought about church but I don't believe in god! I'd love a dog but we work full time so not around enough

It's not easy is it! I live in London so I'm sure there must be loads going on I just need to give some stuff a try. Yeah gym classes don't seem like a place to make friends

Look up the literary isolationists’ book club on Facebook. We meet once a week, and share what books we have read. It’s lovely, and quite low-maintenance in terms of a hobby. If you can’t make Tuesday nights, you can just follow the comments when you get a chance.

Volunteering, uses time, you spend time with people you often have a mutual interest with. Plus it is friendship at arms length, a good filtering system as you get to know people. I have volunteered on and off all my life. My voluntary work was doing statistical research, fund raising, grant applications and committee work when I was working, I was even on tv talking on behalf of one of them. Now I’m retired I do face to face, cooking in a food project and working in a charity shop. I worked in higher education as a career so there was lots of fact to face contact most days.

I only lived in London in my twenties, two of my mates from school also did so we had a very fine time. My Mother is from London but I really found it very unfriendly overall. Lived up North for 30 years now, people still chat to total strangers in the street often. It’s an ex mining area.

Check out meetup.com for various groups and activities.
Also, adult "education" classes in your area, they are mostly hobby-related.

Meetup groups have walks all over the country and u go to what u fancy, some even organize weekends away. Small fee for joining in a day, no membership as such.

Compassionate neighbour schemes are crying out for volunteers.

These are usually run through hospices. Hospices also look for volunteers across all sorts of roles . You are around people but not in a lifelong friends sense .

Sometimes loneliness can feel like not having a sense of altruistic purpose.

@losenotloose I posted below about volunteering at a large museum. I live in London too, and there is masses of choice in terms of commitment, activity etc. If you are interested try https://simplyvolunteerlondon.uk/ to get a flavour, and also check the websites of any organisations you are interested in.

I have also made sort-of-friends at gym classes! Again, having a shared purpose and liking the same thing gives you a good basis for a bit of casual socialising. In London you have loads of choice - try park bootcamps, park boxing, social running, community gyms, climbing, clubs not gyms.....I've found pilates and yoga studios and standard high street chains the least friendly - I don't mean that critically, some people want to be able to turn up, workout and go in their own headspace - I do too sometimes! But if you want a bit more engagement try something a bit more niche or outdoors...ones with more social stuff around the edges are sometimes on meetup or loacl FB groups. There are also lots of social walking groups in London, search on FB or insta.

I would take up a nice non mad religion, maybe the Quakers or Buddhism.
I would also get a dog, all the dog owners near me seem to congregate on the green twice a day and let the dogs all play together.

Join a dance class. So many different kinds to choose from, and they are fun and keep your body and brain fit. And you will meet nice people.

I'd try your local library book club as a starting point as they tend to meet regularly on a set day - I love my (private) book club but the only reason we meet semi-regularly is because one member is very on it about getting the next meeting set up otherwise they can drift.

Do you sing? I would like to join the choral society attached to DC's school - but annoyingly they meet on the same evening as Scouts so DH needs the car. One day!

Our local weekend community market is always looking for volunteers.

I agree about gym/ exercise classes. I did a regular yoga class for years and never made a friend out of it.

You've asked the wrong question for your title. You want to know how to enjoy your own company. Your mindset can change without having to do more.

A couple of things for this to remember that all time doesn't have to be filled with activities. Time at home is valid .

Another point to remember is that you don't need companions to do everything with. Be comfortable with doing things solo.