Talking meat to the vegan

[gingerlions]

Hi, just wanted to hear from people who eat meat whether you think this is normal talk or whether people are trying to get some sort of reaction from me?

Backstory - I've started at a new workplace and everyone is new in the department so we're all new to each other. It came out that I'm vegan due to us having a new starter buffet and having to put our dietary requirements. I don't really mention it unless I have to and my family including my children eat meat.

Anyway I've just noticed how much they all talk about meat, what meat they're buying and cooking and how much they love it, last week it was what age sheep tastes best, what weird meats they've eaten on holiday and yesterday it was about steaks, it's constant and in such detail that I'm wondering is this for my benefit or is this normal? Pretty much all my friends/family eat meat but I've not heard them talk constantly like this. I get on with everyone at work well so I don't think they're trying to annoy me, but it just feels a bit strange as I'm sat there quiet not joining in and wondering if this is normal talk and my friends just choose topics I can join in with more, or whether they are trying to get a shouty vegan reaction or something haha.

I would be happier to be told it's normal as not a nice feeling if they are trying to get at me.

They're doing it to wind you up.

It sounds a bit unusual but I wouldn’t rule it out that it’s just work chatter based on mutual interests. Some people are really into their food and ingredients and, of course, if you eat meat, meat comes under that, and rather a large part given the cost and meal structure etc. Work friendships are so weird, you’re kind of thrown together and have to make the best of it so often do find yourselves having very similar repetitive conversations ime. I certainly wouldn’t be jumping to thinking they are doing it to be mean to you anyway!

Of course, you’re actually there and I’m not, so it may be that I’m missing tone or side-looks or whatever, but if there’s other issues/signs that come into play later then I’d probably feel differently, but I wouldn’t be concerned at this stage.

@Buddhistcauliflower it can feel a bit like that. It doesn't wind me up as such though, just makes me feel a bit excluded especially when the conversation goes on for most of lunch!

@Changeyourfuckingcar that's true, I guess we don't know each other enough to have found lots in common yet, and everyone eats! Hopefully we might have more of a range of topics as we speak more.

There are some glances towards me during conversations but not sure if it's people just acknowledging I'm there and haven't spoken, hard to tell! I'll try to assume the best for now as they seem nice people as a whole.

I don't have conversations like that and would talk about what I'm cooking in more general terms. I think it's strange to talk so much about meat but I do know some people are very keen on their meat and eat a lot of it. Maybe you just happen to have stumbled on a group like that? It could be a common interest but the details about what age and so on, I wouldn't dismiss that they are trying to wind you up. I'd just ignore it, though they are being rude to talk about it so much if it excludes you.

It sounds like they're getting the measure of you and finding where you push back against office banter. It's up to you where you go from here - join in and discuss the benefits of cauliflower steaks and oat milk, or turn your nose up at them and make it known this is a no go discussion for you.

Good is a common interest so it sounds like they've found a popular topic that they can all chatter about.

I doubt it's directed at upsetting you. You can join in to talk about the vegetables that accompany their meat dishes.

I'm a vegetarian and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest what they are talking about.

Start talking about cauliflower steaks and what good value they are at £16 a pop in a restaurant

I think you might just be a bit sensitive. Those are all conversations I’ve had with a friend or work colleague, especially if they are particularly into food and cooking like I am. I was a vegetarian for 20 years and actually only eat meat a few times a week if that. But I don’t think this is that big of a deal, just tune them out.

You don’t know really, do you?

Not with absolute certainty no, but I'm long in the tooth and have witnessed similar in many work places.

Don't mention the war!

it's been 35 years since I ate meat. My brother still finds it 'hilarious' to say shit like 'you murderer, I can hear your carrots squealing' or comment on how good the meat is, in detail.

other people still ask how I can possibly, not eat xxx?

it's tedious, but your colleagues sound utterly batshit.

I hope they’re not getting at you. People sometimes do. I’ve been a vegetarian since I was a teen in the 70s, and ‘hilarious’ banter and downright hostility about it was rife back then, but I would have imagined that vegetarian and vegan diets were so commonplace now that it wouldn’t provoke such a juvenile reaction in a group of adults. If they carry on with their meat-based talk, I would definitely start to join in and say “well obviously I can’t comment on meat, but you really should try…” Mention lots of vegan recipes with details of delicious ingredients you’ve used. You’ll soon be able to tell if your colleagues are genuine foodies, or taking the piss, and if they are, hopefully they’ll take the hint!

Vegan too and I get this all the time. People are always talking to me about what type of meat they do or don't eat. how they're trying to cut down, how fake meat is really over processed (seems to be a fave at the moment even though I never eat it.

It's so dull and I honestly couldn't care less if people eat meat or not.

It's certainly unusual - I'm veggie but I don't recall ever hearing anyone go on at length like that about meat.
I wonder if they are trying to wind you up too but as you're still getting to know each other I'd give them the benefit of the doubt that they just happen to be foodies who love meat.
I absolutely wouldn't try and join in by talking about vegetables though as it could be taken the wrong way - like you're offended and trying to steer the conversation away from meat.
Just carry on ignoring the conversation and join in other less meat related ones.
If they are trying to wind you up they'll soon get bored with no reaction.

It is a little unusual and I would be inclined to think it is something done to wind you up BUT, that said, I did have a lengthy conversation at work just yesterday about beef and lamb, and why lamb was eaten loads in my home country but is much rarer here and how I miss it. We then went on to what meats my colleague eats and as it turned out he laughed about being a bad Hindu (his word) because he liked beef over here.

We probably do talk about meats more often than in say, an office, because we are a mix of different races, religions and have some vegetarians and a vegan here and as in our job, serving at least 3 meals a day is a big part. We also ask colleagues if they want anything off the food trolley which then prompts more food discussions. But in a normal non catering workplace? I'd say likelier they are being arses.

Never mention meat in front of a meat eater they don't shut up about it. Most revert to full cavewoman. You the joke? How do you know if someones a meat eater? They'll tell you.

I'm guessing that you have mentioned once or twice you are vegan (as the joke goes, a vegan will tell you). So they are winding you up about being omnivores. Ignore and they will get bored.

Thanks for everyone's thoughts! I agree that they might be getting the measure of me. I was thinking about it more and I've had lots of questions about how long I've been vegan, if my family are, what I eat etc and a few have said they have tried being vegetarian/vegan but couldn't keep it up so wondering if that's playing into it! I never bring it up of my own accord.

I also wouldn't say I'm overly sensitive to general meat chat like what they're having for dinner, as like I say my husband and children eat meat. I think it's just the intensity of it and feeling bit left out

I'm not vegetarian but I'm a bit squeamish and wouldn't like detailed discussions about ages of animals to eat. I'd agree, try and join in with food talk but watch for signs that this is a bit mean. I don't think it's 100% innocent, they are testing you to an extent. Unless they are all proper foodies and great cooks to whom the ingredient quality is very important.

I sat near someone at a wedding who started talking about going to Smithfield Market when it's cheap and getting months worth of bargains. He started showing me photos of all this meat divided up ready to freeze, it was like an episode of CSi His wife told him to stop as it was clearly making me feel sick!

You should find the leaflets on dog meat ..
Elwoods organic dog meat .
They can choose their favourite breeds to eat .
Might shut them up xx
Fellow vegan here xx

I was discussing meat cuts earlier this morning so it's not unprecedented, plus perhaps you just tune into these occasions, whereas meat eaters wouldn't notice how often it comes up. It's market season at the moment so the weird meat burgers are on the menu, just a heads up - I had wild boar last week

Yes, vegan UPF is certainly a 'concern' for omnivores at the moment. I just shut that conversation straight down by saying that I'm not vegan for health reasons.

@gingerlions I'm glad this isn't bothering you. I'd personally just let it go at the moment. If they are doing it for a reaction, they'll quickly get bored. Just equip yourself with comebacks to questions/statements such as 'What if you are on an island with just a pig'?, 'What are these for'? (points to canines), 'But, wild animals kill each other' etc, etc.