Adult son

[Flomer]

I'm a lone parent of 2 now adult kids. Late 50s. I've always done my own DIY but getting bit more difficult now. My son watched me repaint the house (indoors) without offering to help. He pays £220 in digs which I've been keeping for him so he can have a deposit on a house. I've loaned him a fair amount also. Digs cover everything, including food.
What's got me riled is that I asked him 2 months ago to clean my gutters - that's one of his outdoor occupations. Last week he said he'd do it for £67....

This is the type of man that will make for a bloody horrendous partner

Just calmly inform him any jobs you need to pay for going forward will come out of the savings

I'd tell him his monthly bill has just gone up. Just as he's entitled to charge for his time and effort, your time is equally valuable and so it's now £10 per meal prepared, £10 per load of laundry / £2 per item ironed (because I doubt very much this entitled idiot is doing his own cooking/ laundry etc). Itemise his first week... include everything, doing the food shop, washing up, housework etc.

What an unappreciative man he is. Time for him to wake up!

Yep.

He's walking all over you
He's actually paying nothing for all you do for him because your plan is to give it all back!!
Time he stopped living off the " bank of Mum"

I'm sorry, you are trying to be kind and you sound like a lovely mum but he is walking all over you. I never agree with people saving the children's rent to give to them later but certainly don't agree with it if the child knows in advance.he thinks he doesn't have to pay for anything and he thinks he hasn't got to do anything in the house either and you will still give him the deposit.

You are not doing him any favours here. Don't even think about paying him to do those gutters. I would rather pay someone else. Tell him from now on that you are not funding his deposit. Actually the best thing now would be if he took whatever money you have saved for him and went into a shared flat. He needs to grow up and living at home with you isn't helping that. It's a shame as so many people would love to have a mother like you but he's taking advantage of you and will respect you more if you are tougher on him.