Year 2 teacher mentioned autism...what to expect/look out for?

[Barrenfieldoffucks]

Ds7 had his parents' eve last night. After telling us he was doing well in all areas, she said she had noticed what she thought could be some traits of autism, and wondered if we would agree.

I said that I knew he had trouble with emotional resilience (found things going wrong very hard), had a few sensory issues around certain items of clothing, had a fairly limited list of meals he would eat etc, but nothing more obvious.

She said for them it was things like finding it hard if the planned routine for the day changed with no explanation, or if the visual timetable on the board wasn't correct he was the first to notice, not wanting to wear his jumper, noise in the classroom etc.

Neither of us have noticed any social issues.

She asked me to think about it and let her know whether we want to start an assessment process.

My feeling is that if the professionals are noticing something, there is no harm done starting a process so the support is in place should be need it in the future.

On the other hand, if any traits he has are so mild that they don't really cause many issues, and could just be personality quirks, is it necessary? Are his 'issues' likely to get worse with age?

I'm just talking it out here really, if anyone has any experience of kids having it mentioned at this kind of age? What went on to happen?

Hi have been trying to get an autism assessment for my son for years! The first step always seems to be questionnaires for parent and school to fill in. The questionnaires are scored and if not enough points the referral doesn't go any further.

If you have the opportunity to get an assessment take it. If there is no diagnosis then no harm done if there is a diagnosis then if extra support is needed in the future you have it there to back up the need.

The only thing you might find is that the referral gets rejected. They are prioritising those children with the most need these days, but you never know, maybe just cooperate with school and see how things go. They can also have him under SEN, and make reasonable adjustments without any diagnosis, you can even get an EHCP without a diagnosis, but EHCP’s are also only given to those with highest needs.

Primary school is on the whole a gentler place than High School - where a lot of children with undiagnosed ASD can struggle.
No harm in pursuing an assessment. It's not something that can be medicated for but knowledge is power.
In the meantime I would look up parenting skills for autistic children as you will need different strategies and approaches.

I would ask to meet with the Sendco now. They will hopefully know more about the assessment process in your area.

However, if it takes a long time or doesn't work out, then your child should still get support because he has shown the characteristics outlined by the teacher. I would write in an email what she said and send it back to her just to confirm that this is what you're talking about.

My DD has a diagnosis, which is currently irrelevant to her life. It is however still there if things aren't going well. For DD how affected she is depends very much on getting enough sleep, so it can fall apart very quickly, and has done at times.

It has informed the way we parent and communicate with her, so there are things we do without thinking (like never make a request with multiple parts). It feels we've had intense periods of being aware of autism and lots of calm in-between times where we go weeks without thinking about it.

There's no harm in starting the process now and reading around it a bit. Our only regret is parking it in a period of calm and then having to go back to it when things were bad. It would have been easier to tie up the last few steps when things were going smoothly.

I'd absolutely go through the process now. As a pp said, problems are more likely to surface in secondary school, so having things in place now, so that there can be a speedy response should problems occur later, could be invaluable.

His teacher is the SENCO (for the next few months anyway). I've asked for a follow up.meeting that isn't constrained by time.

Out of interest, what sort of thing do you see when things aren't going well, or calmly?

I'd be interested to hear what sort of parenting techniques others have found that worked for them. DS is the youngest of 3, and they're all very different. Though we have often said that he is very much like his sister (our eldest), who at various points I had wondered about neurodiversity in relation to.

You parent the child you have, whether they are autistic or not. For example you said your child can be sensitive to noise, whereas my son is a sensory seeker, and enjoys loud noises, or they otherwise do not disrupt his school life (so far anyway). Just look at your child’s individual needs and manage them. Routine is often a big thing for ND children, and it’s finding what works for that particular child. Sometimes telling them what’s going to happen, sometimes visual.

My feeling is that if the professionals are noticing something, there is no harm done starting a process so the support is in place should be need it in the future

I think this is a very level headed approach, autism assessments generally take years on the nhs so better to be 'in the system'. Even if things are going well right now, as they may start to unravel in the coming years as the demands of school etc get greater. And if that doesn't happen, great. Nothing lost.

(My DC was a lot younger and the traits were much more obvious, but the diagnosis still took 3 years)

I would say they will undoubtedly get worse with age, especially secondary school. And because the process takes so long, I would start now. It will also inform what you're looking for in secondary school - a good SEN department. You are lucky to have a teacher who is knowledgeable.

My DS1 is very mildly on spectrum (I think) which has become more pronounced over the years. Same as yours in emotional resilience, highly sensitive, very restricted food (hot much worse the older he's got). He's struggling now he's 19 (out of work) and I wonder if a diagnosis would have helped him access more support.

If your dc has mild autistic traits, there’s no harm knowing - but alternatively he may learn to mask and it may not really disrupt his life. I guess knowing might inform your parenting and his teachers so they can be more aware but to what end? Sometimes in life it’s better just to crack on.

I had suspicions about my dd - she has always had a phenomenal and eidetic memory (she could recite familiar stories age 2, knew the directions to all sorts of places even if she had only been there once, an early reader, etc)

And from age 4 on, she was very restrictive with her diet and had heaps of sensory issues with clothes.

She was a model pupil and hated noisy classrooms. She also had some weird obsessions about her routine. But no social problems - loads of friends. Now as a teen she is still “top set everything” and despite some eccentricities is thriving.

Does my dd have autism or is she just super bright and a bit weird? Hard to say, and now it doesn’t matter as it has all worked out ok. I don’t think labelling her would have helped at all.

The class teacher shouldn't really have sprung this on you, she should have referred her concerns to the Sendco who should have then spoken to you.

DDs autism is only an issue for herself, she displays no challenging behaviour, is exceptionally high achieving, was always used as a role model at Primary, Mary in the Nativity etc.

But starting High School was abit of a nightmare she struggled with the noisier, busier school environment, she shutsdown rather than meltsdown.

I got her assessed privately, having the diagnosis means the she understands herself better and is able to manage her time and energy levels better if her friends are making plans for the weekend and she knows she has had a busy wee etc she is able to decline the plan ad make them another week. The WISC V assessment she had a the same time was great as it showed areas of exceptional ability and then others that were weaker so this could be catered for. It explained why she could be incredibly hard written maths but still used her fingers for simple mental arithmetic, it explained why on the surface despite being incredibly capable if given a list would forget the first item by the time you got to number three. So simple adaptations resolved alot of these issues, Whatsapping a chore list instead of verbal instructions,factoring in travel days when visiting somewhere new away from home particularly if noisy.

She jokes that changes to routine/plans have to be submitted 3 days prior in writing - it's not quite that bad but if we have a plan then we stick to the plan, spontaneity is not her friend - she'll cope with it fairly well in the moment depending on what else is going on but will need longer to mentally recharge afterwards. We did atrip to London in the summer had intended to check-in early after our journey and then go out in the evening, only we couldn't so went to the Tate Modern instead and it was a bit hot and busy and there was some music playing which all got a bit much so we found a quiet room and used that for 20 mins then left to go back to the hotel. Its very much like a battery and if she knows what is happening and mentally preps before had it's fine but if you add things on it drains way faster until it's empty and takes along time to recharge again.

However autism was always on my radar as we have a family tree peppered with odd bods that likely have all been autistic but not diagnosed due to stigma / criteria the time. If you have no family history potential or other wise it probably ist autism as it is mostly inherited.

Yes I would go with the assessment, that all sounds very typical of ASD and yes it will almost certainly be more challenging for him socially as he gets older.
At 7 it's quite easy to fit in with your peers in your class that you've always known - at secondary at 11 or at 15 the differences can be much, much more obvious.

To me anyone who just lets their child 'crack on' when they're showing all sorts of signs just because they've managed to cope this far in life is doing their child an enormous disservice. Super bright DS would not be where he is today (Software engineering degree apprenticeship) without diagnosis and the reasonable adjustments that came with that at secondary school age +.

Oh and it's not a label - stupid is a label, slow is a label - ASD is a diagnosis.

I would say that if the school have noticed and have said something then it is very likely he is showing quite strong traits and it would definitely be worth getting an assessment for the adjustments he can then have in secondary. School have never said a thing about my daughter (other than she struggles with emotional regulation - we thought this was a hint but it turns out when we told them she had been diagnosed they were surprised). Teachers don't have much training in recognising autism/ other ND behaviours, so if they have noticed he is probably behaving quite noticeably at school.

It's not an easy process, I'm a year in and still awaiting an assessment. They have a backlog in my area of two years. That doesn't mean you should be deterred if you think it's warranted. I think a good first step is to make a GP appointment.

I am a teacher and have a son with global delay, non verbal and suspected autism and can say I'm confused with her comments about your son as teachers do not have the medical background to diagnose conditions. She can present what she observed but I would never label a child with a condition.

Go ahead with it as I've been waiting 7 years for my ds to get an autism diagnosis after his first referral was done in year 3. It's a foreign conclusion and his school/teachers approach him as though he is diagnosed, but the official diagnosis has been so long coming that it's beyond ridiculous. Covid and other mishaps along the way have held things up so I'm sure it's not as bad now but I do believe camhs still have massive back logs across the country so the sooner the ball is rolling the better. If your ds isn't autistic that will be apparent from the assessments they carry out so no harm done, and if he is then he'll receive the appropriate support he's going to need going forward.

This sounds very similar to my daughter actually. Though without the self awareness just yet!

His teacher is also the SENCO (at the moment) so probably has done some training, as have I (ex 1-1 for a little chap with autism, and class teacher a long long time ago). So I can see how some of his personality traits would also be those of someone with autism...but could equally just be his personality that evens out over time.

So I guess watch and wait perhaps, with whatever has to happen in the background.

We've always parented the child in front of us with all of them, and very much have 'adaptations' in place for him at home anyway, but I guess understanding that there was a cause other than 'stubborn-ness' or 'pickiness' would be beneficial for all concerned...

We've always parented the child in front of us with all of them, and very much have 'adaptations' in place for him at home anyway, but I guess understanding that there was a cause other than 'stubborn-ness' or 'pickiness' would be beneficial for all concerned...

Im sorry for posting multiple posts on the same thread, but perhaps this was in response to me saying that you should parent the child you have. My point with that was that you meet one autistic child, you meet one autistic child. You say causes other than stubbornness and pickiness, it’s not about looking at what the surface level behaviour is telling you, but trying to look at what it’s actually communicating. I’ve learned a great deal about autism since having my son, who has much more obvious traits, if you will, and yet I’m far from an expert, but just learning about autism in general has helped me be a better parent for my son. The SALT assessment has been helpful too, so if you get any professionals involved outside of school they should be able to help you understand things better.

Although going private isn't cheap it is an entirely different experience, it took 6 weeks from initial enquiry to report in my hand Vs 4 years if the child is accepted by the NHS. At no point was I made to feel it was my parenting etc or anything negative as can so often happens when going through the NHS.

Her school and the GP accepted the report with no issue, I just emailed it in and it was added to her file but you do need to make sure it follows NICE guidelines and I chose somewhere that does work for the NHS too

When things aren't going well, it comes out as frantic chewing, pacing, not really speaking, not being as able to handle things like the dog barking, hiding under a duvet.

We very much did trial and error parenting, a bit specific to her and not at all in line with the no demand that works for others (she'd hate that). It is mainly a huge amount of exercise, she is always calm and happy after proper exercise, even after a stressful day, and sleeps better, so two birds with one stone. Both us and the school give very clear instruction and don't give her too much responsibility as she hates making decisions, especially if there's not an obvious right answer. I have worked through ways to make minor decisions that used to paralyse her, like pick and mix, so she has a method, but otherwise it's genuinely been playing running games in the park after everyone else has gone to bed.

DS was diagnosed this year with autism and ADHD. He is 15. To be honest it wasn’t a difficult process at all, just took a couple of years on the wait list. We filled out a form, school filled out a form then we went straight on to wait. It was an online assessment and that was very smooth going.
It’s largely irrelevant in his life to be honest. It was helpful with the school and some minor adjustments that he has found helpful. But they had actually already made most of the adjustments for him before he was even referred.
Id like to say it’s informed my parenting but it really hasn’t made much difference, I already knew what worked and what didn’t and had adapted.
That said, If I had to go back and do it again I would. Overall it is helpful for him to understand why some of his traits upset others (his ADHD has an emphasis on the hyper that can be hard for some to understand). He recently watched The Minions movie 5x in a row with different subtitles on each viewing, we just laughed and rolled our eyes, in the past I may have tried to talk him out of this.

OP, you mention having considered ND for your daughter.

Worth being aware that autism/ ND in girls and women can present very differently and is often underdiagnosed.

For both your children, if you are noticing things, I would be inclined to have them assessed so you know what's what.