Every year a close friend has a NYE party at her house with around 10-15 people. Friend is single but has teen DC x3 who are there for the NYE party with her. I can never go. She invites me and my DH & DC but the party is mostly all the hosts friends who DH does not know (mums with DC). DC never want to go as they don't really know her DC or any other DC going. So I never go as I am not going to leave DH & DC to it at home and bugger off to a party. I want to be where DH & DC are for NYE. My friend gets pissed at me every year because of it. Nothing is said but her tone and manner says it all. (Just to add - imo I think she gets pissed I am not going and she needs the numbers, but I could be wrong).
This year we have been invited to a party with DH friends (couple). I have met them twice. The DC might go to this as our DC know their DC through school. We will only go if DC go. We wont leave DC home alone (they are old enough to be left but are <15yrs and I couldn't leave them on NYE, it seems wrong). To confirm, at home we do nothing for NYE we are just at home with nice food, film, drinks etc and then bed. Tbh, we are not that bothered about NYE unless we get a specific invite that works for all of us. Which we have never had.
The issue - having turned my friend down every year for her NYE party (and she has already announced she is having one this year, but I have yet to comment/reply. I have tip-toed around her comments re the party as it feels awkward, like it does every year) is it out of order if we go to my DH's friends party ? I know my friend will get the arse with me. If we go, we will most likely be tagged on social media at the party.
What do I want to do ? go to DH friends party (if DC are OK to go too).
What does my people pleaser brain say ? not go to DH friends party and stay at home just so I don't upset my friend.