I’m not happy with any childcare option, not sure what to do

[nurserying]

I have recently had our baby and we have been trying to sort out childcare for my return to work for months.

We live in a northern area in the suburbs yet places are still pretty much booked up until January 2026 at the earliest so we need to get our skates on.

Without giving away what I do (and no, it’s not Ofsted) as part of my day job I visit lots of early years settings- none that we would use as I work in the next city. All the same, I think I have seen enough to form an opinion. Out of the probably hundred I have seen, there is probably 2 or 3 settings that stick out to me as somewhere I think would be nurturing and lovely for a baby. The others not at all.
Not a problem for over 2s in most cases but they just seem really far from ideal for a young baby. I prefer the idea of a childminder but obviously childminders have their own drawbacks: less continuity, just one person responsible for your child, the issue of school runs and working the whole day around that.

There aren’t many childcare options in the village we live in so we’d have to drive a bit further out anyway.

I do want to return to work, probably 3 or 4 days a week. I can WFH at least one day a week. DH is a shift worker (weekdays, weekends, days and nights) so will have different days off every week, usually he ends up with about 3 weekdays off on average. DM has offered to have our baby a couple of mornings or afternoons a week. She is late 50s and wouldn’t have offered if she didn’t want to but equally I don’t want it to be something she feels uncomfortable about retracting if it ends up being too much for her.

What to do? My mum suggests that we can all make it work between us each week, especially since my work will let me change my days off each week (so I can realistically make it fit in around DHs shift pattern).

I’m just still not sure about not having anything in place and can imagine it might be a bit stressful

It doesn’t feel like there is a good option and I hate that we even have to think of this while baby is so small.

A nanny, to look after your baby in your own home during your working hours?

Least worst for you is CM, so do that with dm as backup. Or take a years career break.

What happened to the nursery which was 20 mins drive away which you posted about the other day?

WFH will help in terms of cutting the commute time and putting a wash on, but you can't WFH with a baby so it won't help with childcare.

Essentially you have a choice to make - work and use childcare, or give up work and don't.

Personally, I'd go with three mornings at nursery. Your mum can pick up on two days at lunchtime.

When they're in nursery as babies they spend so much time on naps and meals that there's not actually a huge amount of the day left. Pick a nursery that will get them out for a walk every day in the buggy.

Finally, remember that the baby that goes to nursery will be a lot bigger and more interactive than the baby you have in front of you now.

(Disclaimer - mine went FT to nursery from 10 months and it worked brilliantly for us.)

less continuity, just one person responsible for your child, the issue of school runs and working the whole day around that.

I'm a childminder and I don't understand this? Less continuity? That's the exact opposite! Parents choose me because they like me and know it will be me and me only. Much more so that nurseries where you can't control staff turnover.

And just choose a cm who doesn't do school runs? I'm in a group of 5 close cms and only 1 does school runs.

One thing jumps out at me you have just said between you all you will make it work as you can juggle days between you. Personally I needed a clear plan with childcare as it made things so much easier and less stressful. I'd look around at local childminders if I were you