Gift for bereaved person at Christmas

[Ivyiris]

I was thinking about getting a star named for them, do you think this is a thoughtful idea? It's for a work colleague and also friend who lost someone very close to them.

It's a very personal thing and not something we can answer.

Personally I'd get them a normal present and not one related to the bereavement.

But you know this person, we don't.

No I wouldn't do that

Also, the star naming thing is thought of by many as a bit naff/cheesy.

So again, it depends on the person I guess.

I wouldn't, unless you are very certain they would like it, and from you. Something like that is more for the family to do IMO. Someone in my family did it for their loved one (my loved one too, but family member was more closely related) and all I could think was "The star is probably dead too". Others would find it twee.

Go with something safer, and more personal to your friend rather than their loved one.

A nice candle would be a safer option.

I wouldn’t have like that.

Definitely not. Those things are meaningless and no stars are named for anyone. It's gimmicky.

A donation to something important to them, or something entirely unrelated to their loss so as not to stress that aspect at Christmas.

Thank you for the feedback, the thought was there and I've been fortunate not to experience a close bereavement yet so have no idea what may be well received. Think may look at like a voucher for something instead like an activity or afternoon tea or something.

Think may look at like a voucher for something instead like an activity or afternoon tea or something.

Perhaps for something you could do together? Friends can back off after a bereavement for a range of reasons. Fixing something you can do together reinforces you still see them as the individual they are and not someone who is defined by their bereavement. Your time and support to them are far more valuable than a distant star.

I think your heart is in the right place, but no I’d hate this.

Just get them a card and a normal gift and just let them know you’re thinking about them.

I wouldn't send or give someone recently bereaved a traditional Christmas card, they very seldom contain appropriate messsges.

Maybe if you can find a 'Peace at Christmas' one. Likewise, if I wanted to give a gift I'd call it a small token to let you know I/we are thinking of you.

Christmas is specially difficult for the recently bereaved. My mother would tell me about well what I've posted and I had no idea what she meant. Only when we lost DFather just before Christmas did I suddenly realise how out of tune it feels.

And then I howled in a super market when I say they had new season rhubarb, which was his favourite. So maybe it's just me.

TBH I think I would go for a regular present that I know they would love. I agree that cards are worth taking some care over. I wouldn't avoid sending a card, but would seek out a winter landscape type card without a jolly printed message (Royal Academy online shop always has some), so I could write something personal about their loved one.