I don’t know what I’m looking for with this post to be honest, maybe just some reassurance that I don’t need to be as worried as I feel?
My background is that I’m almost 43 years old, I’ve been married for 13 years (together for 16) and we have two daughters aged 9 and 11. I love my husband very much and he’s a wonderful father.
Five years ago my health massively deteriorated and it ultimately ended with me having to give up my job 2 years ago. I had tried working alongside my health difficulties for just over 3 years but things kept getting worse and after I ended up in hospital I accepted that I just couldn’t do it anymore and I resigned. My Consultant had also gently implied that my job was likely exacerbating my health condition and I had to seriously consider what my priority was: my work or my health.
I went from working full-time in a respected profession and having my own income to being pretty much financially reliant on my husband and being a SAHP.
I am currently in receipt of £300 in benefits a month from PIP (Personal Independence Payment).
Between my previous income and my husband’s income we had a comfortable life…. We certainly weren’t “well off” and didn’t live a lavish life but we didn’t have any financial worries.
Our lifestyle has now had to massively change, for example we had to sell one of the cars, we haven’t had a holiday in two years, we don’t get to go out much, we can’t treat the children like we used to, we can’t put away as much in savings as we used to etc etc and my husband's income pretty much has to cover everything and there’s not much left at the end of the month.
About 18 months ago I took on some training to get a new qualification (financed by my husband) so I do work on a self-employed basis but the monthly income is variable and I usually only earn about £500 a month. I still suffer with my health problems but this job is manageable as it's more flexible, less hours and less pressure so I am able to work at a level that my heath allows.
I guess I just feel so worried that I'm now financially reliant on my husband to a degree and it is his money that is what keeps us all going.
Any money I do make from my business goes into our joint account so I am contributing 'something' to the household/child related expenses, but compared to what I used to contribute it's pretty weak.
I just feel so guilty about it all.
My husband has been amazing, so supportive and understanding and he has never done or said anything to imply he's resentful (for lack of a better word), but I'm plagued with guilt and worry. I also feel very vulnerable.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and can offer reassurance?