Really need some tips

[Frig]

Lately i've been putting my 9mo to sleep at around 22ish, but this cycle is getting worse. for the past couple of weeks he has been waking up EVERYDAY, at 1am. and stays up full of energy until 4/5am, and then sleeps until 12/13pm. I know this is not healthy at all, and i really need to sort this out i just don't know how? i'm so tired that this days i've been waking up with him at 12, but i really can't do this anymore. my question is, should i wake him up at 8am and start a new schedule all over again? im really worried that this might affect him somehow this horrible routine. I just don't even know how it started in the first place. it's been a nightmare as well to get him to nap during the day, usually he has his first nap at 17. and what im assuming is, when i put him to bed at 22, he assumes it's his second nap and that's why he wakes up at 1am? 😩 please someone been through similar? any help is welcome, but please if you come to judge just don't at all that's not what i need right now.. and can someone tell me if could this sleeping schedule be affecting him?

That sounds ridiculous and exhausting

Wake him up at 8am, at that age a couple of hour long naps should get him through to bedtime at 1800. It'll likely be difficult for the first couple of days but he'll get into a routine quickly. If he wakes up during the night, keep him in his cot, don't turn any lights on and just sooth until he falls asleep.

Maybe start a bedtime routine around 1730, bath, cuddles, warm milk, into bed

@NotAPersonPerson i will start tomorrow 😫, hopefully this will sort the schedule for him and for me as well, thank you❤️

You poor thing! Is that you up just now?
Im no good at sleep advice, but it won’t have damaged him and it will get better.

My only bit of advice is to rope in as much support as you can with other chores -ask your DH/DP to take over dinner entirely and also leave you snacks for the day.
if you want to start getting him up earlier - could your partner get baby up for an hour or two before they go to work while you sleep a bit more then you take over for your reset plan?
try also to get outside for some fresh air (baby may well drop off in pram, so choose timing)
I remember the terrible tiredness you have all the sympathy, be safe.

@Telemichus thank you so much for your kind words, i really appreciate it so much! ❤️ My partner is not the best kind.. 😅, he doesn't help much and thinks that being with the baby for 10 minutes a day is enough, in his words "it's boring now, when the baby gets older he'll help more"...

Doesn’t matter if it’s boring you need a bit of help
and it’s not a big ask, an hour before work for a couple of days, and 9 months is a v interesting age where they have moved on from potato & are interacting more. He can watch daddy make his sandwiches.

Fucking hell that's lit a fuse of fury in me OP. "ugh it's boring now, I'll do more when he's older". WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MEN.

Sorry, I know that's not helpful. But it really is appallingly immature and callous behaviour and mindset, OP. What does he think a child is, something fun to amuse himself with when he feels like it?

You're both so right! it's unbelievable. it's sad as well😭. but when i say something the answer is always the same

Have you, or would you, asked him what would happen if you decided you didn't want to do it cos it was boring too? Not as a point scoring jab, but as life partner to life partner, why does only one of you get to opt out of the "boring" parts of rearing a child?