Being a bit silly

[Uuuun]

I feel like DH family don’t care about my daughter much. I sound soft !

when she was born DH wasn’t speaking to a sibling. It’s sorted now but they weren’t speaking at the time.

we kept things private just announce when she got here and I got the feeling his family weren’t happy we didn’t share when we were going to have her (another planned c section)

Shes been a very attached baby. Cries at anyone really doesn’t really go to other people she’s 9mo

But I just noticed a family member (close) done a Facebook post for all the grandkids on DH side but not her. And it’s silly I know it social media and maybe they were upset about the situation of DH and his sibling and they weren’t happy about not being told I was going in to have her etc

but I just get in my own head a bit. I feel like they don’t care much for her and the fact she won’t go to anyone it’s like they’ve barely seen her or built a bond

U haven’t included them in her life, so no wonder they rnt that interested, u reap wot u sow.

I haven’t not included her? We always take her to them with our older child too?

If it’s regarding not mentioning the date of the planned c section that’s not us not including them in her life?

Any tips for on how not to get inside my own head?

it’s silly just don’t want her feeling left out or noticing favouritism as she’s older?

or will they warm a bit when she’s less upset if it’s not me holding her etc

I have to say I agree with this.

Can I ask where I said I haven’t included them in her life ?

If two people have separately arrived at that conclusion from your post then maybe take a look at how your post comes across.

The family sounds complicated. There's been a sibling fallout fairly recently.

The decision not to tell them about the C section date - what's the reason for doing that?

It might help to accept you're upset the family relationships are strained, it's understandable you're upset. Also mute social media for a bit.

This sounds like a total non-problem. I wouldn’t give it another thought. There is absolutely no need to catastrophise about future favouritism or being excluded. She’s nine months!

I dont think all grandchildren are treaty equally (even with the best of intentions). Family factions, distance, gender and outlooks all play a role. It sounds like the family fall out has played a role, and possibly because your DD is so young. My mother was never that interested when her grandchildren were babies / toddlers.

MIL favoured SIL's children over our DD, but then SIL lived just down the road from MIL, we were at the other end of the country, visits / phone calls were sporadic. Dh had issues with his family which is why we kept our distance. MIL still loves DD (shes 25 now) and treated her well (presents etc) but I can accept its a matter of circumstance why DD was less favoured. It has not had a detrimental effect on DD's life, probably a more mild annoyance, and TBF to MIL we could have done more to facilitate that relationship.