Did you grow up in a happy family but without a wider network?

[GlobalWater]

Growing up we had a lot of extended family and our parents had a dozen or do family friends so we spent a fair bit off time with other families and children who weren’t our school friends. Unfortunately my children don’t have the same and I wonder how it will affect them. Was anyone raised like this?

Yes. My parents were very isolated where we grew up. I have to be honest I felt quite adrift and lacking community. But that might be me, I’m quite extrovert and they are not. I was always tagging along with friends’ families. Looking back I was probably quite annoying. But it didn’t do me any harm. I’m able to push myself into new social situations and make friends easily.

My parents had no siblings, not much contact with cousins and no really close friends. It was just them, my sister and I and two elderly grandmas. It was a very happy, close, peaceful childhood free of the sort of family dramas many of my friends endure. My sister and I grew up very happy and are now both rather independent and self-reliant.

Unfortunately my children don’t have the same and I wonder how it will affect them. Was anyone raised like this?

My DD was raised like this.

We encouraged sociable hobbies like Rainbows, Brownies and she was in a sports team from a young age up to Sixth Form. Her friends were always welcome in our home and to join us on days out.

She's 21 now and she makes and keeps friends very well. She puts the effort in and has got lovely friendships at home, at uni, at work.

Yes, I had a very happy childhood like this. My extended family lived far away, I had lots of cousins but saw them only every 2-3 years. Grandparents a couple of times a year. My parents had no friends! The only downside is I think it's made me a nervous host as just wasn't brought up having lots of friends and family at home. My siblings and I did lots of social stuff with our own friends and were lucky to have friends from school close by. But we just didn't do 'family friends'.

Yes I grew up like this. My Dad was an only and my Mum's family lived a long way away so we only saw them occasionally. Additionally I had a long commute to school and it was difficult to make local friends. I wasn't unhappy at the time but do remember feeling lonely and envious of friends who had closer family and whose parents encouraged a wider social life for both themselves and us kids.

Thank you everyone. It’s interesting to hear about your experiences. We encourage the children with their interests and friendships. They have grandparents, a cousin nearby and several abroad who we see from time to time. It’s nothing like the childhood I had though where our home was often busy or we would spend weekends away with/visiting friends. We just haven’t been able to build that community and it makes me very sad but it’s reassuring that others have experienced it and come out off it ok.

Yes. All our extended family lived abroad and visits from them were very rare. I had only one sibling. Our parents became gradually less social by the time I was about 7 or 8. We were very close as a family (despite the usual ups and downs that pretty much all families have) and my sibling and I have always had a good ability to make and keep friendships and relationships within sometimes quite varied social contexts and age groups. As adults we both have a good relationship with our parents, happy marriages of our own, and good friendship circles including many friends from childhood. I don't think you need to worry.