ADHD. Do you have to drain your child's battery?

[TryingTheBestICan]

DS is 6. He's being assessed for ADHD and ASD. Runs in my family. Put him to bed an hour ago. He's still going strong. Just not tired. I'm exhausted. We had a really chilled day (aka went for a walk and stayed at home). We usually have to spend a good 5 or 6 hours at least a day doing physical activity or he just won't sleep. I'm not lying when I say he functions on 3 hours of sleep some days. I'm so, so shattered. I'm applying for DLA but not really sure how it will help (though anything would be amazing!). Is anyone else's child like this?

He's currently screaming for me to come upstairs because he wants me to tell him what testicles are for. Don't know whether to laugh or cry. Neighbours probably laughing.

DD has autism not adhd.

How is his writing? 6 was a long time ago for us I can't remember what DD could do but I'd give him a notebook and pencil for him to write all his night time questions in that house will find time to answer the next day.

I'd allow quiet activity in the bedroom, DD never went to sleep before 9 regardless of what time I put her to bed but she did have to stay in her room so colouring ,(if he can be trusted not to impulsively colour the walls) or an audio book etc.

A weighted blanket and a pregnancy pillow have been game changers for helping her stay asleep so you could try similar with a pregnancy body pillow for him to 'nest' himself and a weighted toy perhaps one of those ones you heat in the microwave would help.

My DC has no diagnosis but sounds similar. Finds it very difficult to get to sleep and doesn't seem to need a lot of sleep until around a week of late nights and then has a catch-up night.

In our case, physical activity doesn't seem to help falling asleep -only mental activity, eg a more academic day at school seems to make a difference.

We do have a regular consistent wind down routine but it doesn't have much impact. At 10, we do allow DC a little more autonomy than imposing the bedtime we thought it "ought" to be. I've lost hundreds of hours trying to get him to sleep!

Sorry not to have more helpful advice but sending solidarity.

What's your bedtime routine like?

Mine are just turned 8, and our bedtime routine starts about 630pm and they usually fall asleep around 9.

6.30pm - dessert/snacks until 7 with some low key tv
7-7.30 - persuading to do teeth/ teeth brushing/toilet
7.30-7.45 getting upstairs
7.45 to 8- reading to them - currently a bit of Harry potter each night
8 to 8.15 - independent reading
8.20 lights out
8.20 to 9pm - us going in and out of their rooms or sitting in there until they're asleep.

Everything takes an age because they need plenty of time to transition between activities. Bedtimes are a lot of little transitions in a short space so can be tricky. Sticking rigidly to this routine does seem to help with calming down. We also got an Aurora light projector recently and that does seem to help their brain to switch off. They struggle with anxiety a lot - have you asked him what he struggles with around bedtime and sleep?

Mine seriously struggle to fall asleep on their own. They seem to need another person in the room to help them relax enough to go to sleep. They've been through phases where they will happily fall asleep on their own but we aren't there currently.

I didn't want to be still actively putting my kids to bed at this age but i guess you have to parent the child in front of you!

He can't really write. He's very behind. Teachers say he's capable but he's so unfocused that he just won't. He spends a lot of time out of the classroom. Asking him to write would be really stressful but he does like colouring.

He is regularly awake until 1am. Literally nothing I can do will help him to sleep. He then seems so be wide awake the next day but I'm sure this has an effect.

We have a brilliant routine. No tv after 5, bath, books, bed. It's relentless. If we spend the full day out on the bikes he will sleep relatively well but I just can't do this every day.

Mine do similar. They want me in the room, so i set myself up with my Kindle and a comfy seat and i tell them no more talking, any questions from them are met with "its time to go to sleep now, I'll stay in here with you but I'm not talking". Any further talking is "it's time to go to sleep now, close your eyes" in a calm quiet voice. If theyre really struggling to drop off, i might stroke their hair/back until they've dozed off. Rule number one for me - their eyes must be closed and no talking, otherwise I'm off.

It works for us most of the time. Again, not what i want to spend my evenings doing, but the alternative is having them awake for ages and ages and not getting an evening anyway because they're arsing around. I know they can't help it, they're not doing it on purpose but that doesn't make it any easier to cope with!

DD10 currently awaiting ADHD assessment (it’s clear as day) she doesn’t switch off, ever.

regularly awake until 2am acting on her impulsive thoughts.

What about a little trampoline in the house? I'm getting mine one for Christmas. Do you have space for some monkey bars in the garden? Saves you going to the park - monkey bars use more energy than biking and you don't have to get involved.

Melatonin.

If he won't or can't write then a device he can dictate his ideas and questions into could be a real game changer. Maybe not an electronic device at bedtime but perhaps an old style dictaphone.

Unrelated to the sleep issue If he is struggling with writing at school it's really worth getting him a device at home he can talk into that writes his stories etc whilst he bounces on an exercise ball or wobble cushion. He'll get frustrated at school not being able to express himself and doing it this way is useful to see results and that he can do school work just in a different way.

I was going to say this too. Gamechanger

My DS, now 11, is diagnosed Autistic and awaiting an ADHD assessment.
he was regularly awake until almost midnight. The thing that changed in an instant, was when the dr prescribed Melatonin. The lowest dose, the first night, he was fast asleep within an hour of taking it. It’s worked every nigh since.
Could you speak to your GP or the Drs who diagnosed him?
Obviously it doesn’t work for all children, but it might be worth a look?

We give ours melatonin. Just a half gram ie the smallest dose, an hour before bedtime. He started falling asleep on the couch! (We also did audio books, Books etc, it got much easier when he could read.)
id try and do reading and some writing with him every day, it’s painful but once his brain learns the skill it’s learnt.

And do you have room for a trampoline? We have a big trampoline a basketball hoop and paved area and monkey bars, he could live outside, spends the most time on the trampoline.

Aw bless him . One of mine struggles with writing (dyspraxic) so he has a Chromebook at school and additional touch typing lessons - he gets so frustrated with having to write that he either doesn't do it, or it's completely illegible. Does yours have access to anything like that that might help him.

Although your waiting for your appointment, you can still see your GP about your sleep concerns especially if they impact his education...for some reason you get more support for this over what is going on at home. Our 6yr old ds is diagnosed adhd and takes medication, doesn't need anything for sleep thankfully. At weekends we ensure we have 1 day at home and he often does a big physical job, today he cut the lawn and collected leaves with dh. Could be a dog walk with me and he has a wobble board from symths which helps him regulate. Hugs, its difficult.

7 year old with suspected ADHD. he needs several hours of exercise a day, and plenty of cognitive stimulation. In his case, dance works a treat. Just exercise isn’t enough, he needs his brain and his body exercised at the same time.
10 hours dance per week, lots of outdoor play, lots if walking, and he is happy and doing extremely well at school.

A friend’s DD has ADHD and bedtime/poor sleep pushed them to the brink. Their GP recommended that they buy kids melatonin gummies from a U.S website - friend says it’s been life-changing for them.

Is there anything they can hyper-focus on? Dc1 used to read until he fell asleep as it helped calm him. Now he is older he plays with Lego bits and listens to the radio.

For us finding something DD could focus on helped.

We did at least a year of meditation CDs she could hear on a speaker in her room, some days it was one track, some days the whole CD but she relaxed enough to drift off.

Audio books also help but it depends on the story. Again, it's the focusing which makes the difference.

Lots and lots and lots of active play before bed. 20 handstands, run around the room etc then after all of that and all the fun can start the wind down.

Agree with others - melatonin has changed our lives!

Yes I often say DS doesn't go to sleep he collapses. If he is understimulated he will spin and bounce and jump off anything and everything. Wish I could take him to a field and let him run it off but he's an eloper so can't do that.

What happens when you get an adhd diagnosis, do the children have tablets? What type?

Meletonin here also. We buy it online. While it isn’t regulated here for sleep (though like a vitamin in the states), unless you have truly lived with a child who cannot sleep, you cannot judge.