Husband doesn't like my friends

[hopeishere]

How do you handle it if your husband doesn't like your friends. But they like him.

My husband doesn't really like my friends (thinks they're champagne socialists / they have different political views). I love to see them but am on edge the whole time.

Can you not see them alone? Rarely I take my husband when I'm seeing my mates he likes them as well but they have zero in common.

thinks they're champagne socialists / they have different political views

So what? Are they rabid in their political views or is it just that he is a purist? Is their champagne socialism any worse a character fault than his judgementalism?

I also would be very interested to know how the not listening to him plays out. I can imagine “lively debate” which can easily get denigrated using words like empty vessels. Is it that he is unskilled as a debater among company who are, or that he thinks debate is to be avoided, or that he uses “listen” when he actually means agree or obey?

What does he actually expect you to do here- is it quietly drop the friends of your own volition so that he gets his desire without the bother of taking responsibility for it?

God, I can't think of much worse than socialising as partners all the time, lol.

Why not use this as an opportunity to change the status quo and arrange stuff with just your mates?

I'd ditch the couples drinks, if the effect of it is you being uptight and your DH wishing he was somewhere else.

Ive long since realised that a happy married life sometimes means doing things apart. DH and I are pretty close, but that doesn't include me inflicting my friends on him, nor his on me. We have fun with our respective friends and it takes all the pressure off.

try it, I think you will find it makes good sense.

Unless I'm just meeting one other couple, I often turn up to couples drinks/dinners solo. I'm going away with a group of friends in a few weeks. Everyone with a partner will be bringing theirs. I won't. It's not a big deal to me and one of the group is single so we just buddy up.

I also would be very interested to know how the not listening to him plays out.

They are very loud and talk over people. They don't listen. He doesn't stop imagine it.its nothing to do with his debating skills. He would never say "listen".

He doesn't expect me to do anything. He not making me drop them.

In general being loud and taking over is rude… but as we get to know people over years and decades we sometimes get raucous.

I would take a leaf out of his book: he lets you know what he thinks and accommodates you and your friends to the extent that pleases him. If he was being a grump/spoiling your enjoyment that’s one thing. But if he doesn’t, then leave well enough alone.