Childhood Christmases

[RosesAndGin]

We always got super naff presents, nothing at all that would be considered cool!
I remember my whole family eating Christmas Dinner around my grandmother's dining table, she always got the 'posh' crockery out for the occasion. In her later years I would help her make the Dinner and later in the evening the buffet would be put out.
I remember being excited about getting visitors, we lived out in the middle of nowhere and my parents didn't particularly like guests but seemed to put up with them over Christmas.
We always had a real tree that appeared about a week before Christmas and it had the proper pickwick lights twinkling away, it was magical when it was cold outside and the fire was lit.
My children have always had 'good' Christmases but our family is so much smaller now (nc with my parents). I over compensate with gifts as they only have us and my sister that buys anything for them. I can never recreate the atmosphere of my childhood Christmas for them and often wonder if my kids will get pangs of nostalgia for their childhood Christmas or if the magic has gone now.
I am clearly over thinking but as we approach the time of year that I work tirelessly to make sure everyone enjoys themselves I wonder if I am wasting my time as the atmosphere will never be the same.

The atmosphere isn't the same because you're an adult now. Much as I'm sure your grandmother loved having the family together, I'm sure it was stressful for her as well.

Christmas also seems less special as an adult because it comes around so quickly.

I'm sure your DC love your Christmases and will indeed be nostalgic for them when they grow up. There's no one way to have a lovely time.

Thank you, you are probably right! I have had 40 Christmases now so the shine is definitely wearing off.
I know the kids would like more family around but it's just not possible.
I think I feel guilty that no matter how nice I make the house or how amazing the food and gifts are I can't give them the one thing they actually want.

My children only have us for Christmas for the same reasons and they absolutely love Christmas and the excitement starts to build for them after Halloween.
I think what what we all remember about Christmas is the traditions that our particular family did. That’s where the nostalgia comes from. It doesn’t need to involve lots of other people.

It's just such a funny time of year.
Think I'm getting a bit maudlin about it all.

It's difficult because I won't ever know exactly how my children remember Christmas when they are adults....they might say they enjoyed them to keep me happy but I will never really know what they feel inside.

I often think about this too. My Christmasses as a child were truly magical. All the family gathering at my Granparents house. Us, my aunties and uncles and my cousins. All squashing round one table, everyone chipping in with the dinner and the clear up. Then present opening followed by party games and an evening buffet. I was so excited for Christmas because it was always the best day of the year and I loved it. As I grew up and had a family of my own our family got smaller as my Grandparents passed away but we still tried to do the family get togethers and I always tried to recreate Christmas for my girls in the hope they would love it as much as I did and get out of it what I always did. I think I achieved that but I will never really know.

My DD's are now adults with partners but no children of their own yet and DH and I are empty nesters. My parents are gone, my DB works in hospitality so is always working at Christmas and my Aunties and Uncles are elderly and unwell and live a long way away. Christmas is now just us and our adult kids. I try so hard to make it an amazing day and we do still enjoy it but I always get nostalgic as Christmas approaches as I think about my own Christmasses as a kid, and the Christmasses in the past when my girls were young and the magic was still there.

I think its hard not to look back sometimes but I work these days to try and look forward. Its okay to look back in fondness but to not dwell. Things change, life changes and people change. They come and go, they grow older and nothing stays the same. I will aim to have a fabulous Christmas with my girls and it will never be what it once was, but it can still be amazing and magical.

You can never know how anyone truly feels about anything though.
They might talk about it as adults and you will see their eyes light up and you will know.
I think “perfect family” Christmases are so in our faces these days via social media and advertising that it can make it feel harder and like we are all getting it wrong, but you need to remember it’s mainly fake and staged.
Like I say it’s the little traditions we remember about Christmas rather than grand gestures and that doesn’t have to involve other people. For example, I didn’t have a good childhood. I don’t remember what presents I had or spending time with my parents really (although they were there). I remember the excited feeling of Santa being on his way, opening the Quality Street Christmas Eve, the smell of the Christmas tree. That still made Christmas magical IYSWIM. Your own memories and nostalgia that you have listed around Christmas are the “little things” too. That is what makes us warm and fuzzy about Christmas. It’s just instead of your children having memories like ‘remember when Nan drank too much sherry/danced around the table etc’ the memories will be ‘remember when mum did XXXX Christmas day’ . That doesn’t make the memories worse.

Thank you. I need to get a grip about it and crack on...

sometimes I think that Christmas felt really special because we had less back then? There wasn’t constant cheap plastic tat available everywhere so presents at Christmas were much longed for and thought about and hoped for!

My children are tiny and so we are supposedly starting ‘the magical years’ but it feels empty for me as we have no other family that are interested. It will just be DH and I and our 2 kids this year and that seems so strange to me.

I think that's it, once my grandmother died the glue that held the family together was gone.
I will have family with me on the day so it won't just be us, I should really be grateful for what we have.
We have secure housing, enough (lovely) food and drink. Nice gifts for the kids and twinkly lights🤣
Now I feel guilty that other people may not have what we have and my Christmas would be someone else's dream Christmas...my brain won't let me be today!

I was a kid in the 80s and Christmases were always made really special by my parents. Mars Christmas stocking Terrys Chocolate Orange Anyone else remember Rover biscuits? My dad trying to find the short in the fairy lights., (if one stopped working they all did) He used a can of spray snow (the red and white can from Woolworths) to paint beautiful pictures on the outside of the living room window Snowman and holly berries. Christmas tree top fairy with hair all over the place that looked a bit pissed. Advent calandars that just had pictures behind the doors that were covered in glitter which went everywhere the second you touched it.

https://www.ribabooks.com/a-very-vintage-christmas-photographs-1890-1980_9781914314797

My childhood Christmases are some of my best memories.

We had a big house so had family friends come to stay (theyd relocated to somerset but their family was local to us).
The kids would all bunk in rooms together and we'd wake early to open our stockings together in the rooms.

When we'd come downstairs our entire living room would be half filled with gifts and we'd get tea and croissants and my dad would sift through them and hand them out.

They'd go off to their family and we'd have family come to us for the rest of the day. Then our family friends would come back late evening and we'd all enjoy hanging out, playing with our gifts.

As we got older we'd open gifts with mini bottles of champagne.

I live overseas now but Christmas was a magic and wonderful time even once I stopped believing.

It's different for my kids being abroad, but we create our own magic and this year will be doing Xmas in Chicago.

Talking of advent calendars, we had some Brer Rabbit ones that we got out every year. It had a story with a little chapter for each day.

If I remember correctly, it had a slightly spooky, lonely looking wood as the main picture, grey gnarly bare trees etc with a bit of silver glitter. But as you opened each door, the picture behind contributed to the transformation of the wood to a lovely cozy woodland community; with carol singers, fireplaces, laden Christmas tables, comfy armchairs, party goers and Christmas trees etc.

I can't remember what happened to it and I've never been able to find a similar one. 😞

Each year I dread Christmas. It brings back horrific memories. I have never once had a Christmas which I would like to repeat. When I was 10 years old, my 8 year old sister set fire to the Christmas tree (on purpose) so we didn't have any trees after that. The following year she deliberately broke everybody's presents so we didn't have any presents after that. That was already on top of no chocolate advent calendars as she'd eat everyone's chocolates in them before the 1st December. One year I flatly refused to go to my aunt's house for Christmas as my psychotic sister was going so was left on my own. I found a hedgehog outside so brought it in, put it in a shoebox with some water and dog food. It died. That was my Christmas Day that year. No tree, presents, family and a dead hedgehog. I think I was 12 years old.

I don't know what brought me back to this post but this is just so sad, my heart breaks for 12 year old you.