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Struggling with 2nd baby

10 replies

LupitosChips · 17/11/2024 10:58

Feeling very alone with this and also quite pathetic. My 2nd baby is 4 months old. He's a happy little chap provided he is being held BUT he is an extreme velcro baby. The minute he is put down - in cot, bouncy chair, on playmat etc - he kicks off. This means I'm holding him 99% of the time, including for all naps. When DH is at work I get nothing done and have to have showers and eat meals at breakneck speed. I have him in the carrier a lot but he's now a really light sleeper so I can't really do anything with him sleeping in there, and if he's awake he hates being in there, he just wants to be held facing outward.

He will only co sleep (still wakes every 1-2 hours, might be every 3 hours on a good night), and my back and neck are wrecked from this. He is EBF and will not take a bottle. He has a dummy. He's physically very healthy and growing well.

My older child is school age so I feel pathetic complaining tbh but I honestly get nothing done, DH has to do pretty much everything alongside working. I cook, shop, meal plan and do the school runs but that's about it. When my eldest was a baby we lived in a tiny flat and I know this sounds awful and ungrateful but I genuinely found it easier as because it was so much smaller it was much quicker to clean and tidy it. We are in a house now and I find the space overwhelming and the list of jobs never ending.

Just wanted to vent really. We don't have any family nearby who could help. We had a cleaner for a little bit but I didn't really find it very useful as I had to run around tidying everything before she came anyway.

OP posts:
LupitosChips · 17/11/2024 16:26

Bump

OP posts:
SoiledMyselfDuringSomeTurbulence · 17/11/2024 16:31

Still velcro at 4 months sounds like extremely hard going!

EmraldSky · 17/11/2024 16:39

sorry youre feeling run down OP. you say that he wont take the bottle - have you tried switching bottles and formula? I was EBF until i couldnt take it anymore my body ached all day then i began using MAM bottles and aptamil. my DC took it fine but then began rejecting the bottle at 3 months old. this went on for a while until i switched to Tommee Tippee natural bottles and Hipp organic formula. now i'm loving life, still mix feeding and DC sleeps for hours at a time, and through the night. try to keep him awake for a few hours, then get him nice and full on formula and then get him to sleep and put him down. top up breastmilk if you need to, pick him up again if he cries but keep trying, dont stop altering methods and dont give up! does he burp okay?

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EmraldSky · 17/11/2024 16:40

SoiledMyselfDuringSomeTurbulence · 17/11/2024 16:31

Still velcro at 4 months sounds like extremely hard going!

just LOL'd at your username

EmraldSky · 17/11/2024 16:42

sorry ive just re-read that he is exclusively on breast milk. in that case ignore what i've said about formula, but try other bottles

SoiledMyselfDuringSomeTurbulence · 17/11/2024 16:51

EmraldSky · 17/11/2024 16:40

just LOL'd at your username

Sometimes I laugh myself when I read it!

NapTrappedAgain · 17/11/2024 17:08

OP I sympathise. I had one exactly like this and I didn’t manage to do anywhere near as much as you do. My poor DH would have to do everything after work and I felt useless when I saw what others were doing with their mat leave and I hadn’t even managed a shower because she’d not sit in the bouncer for more than 10 mins at a time and I chose to eat food instead of wash that day.

It was a slog but it got a bit easier when she could play or do something to keep herself semi occupied. She’s over a year old now and I think much better but her nursery and everyone who babysits tells me how clingy she is and how hard it is to get anything done. They don’t know the half of it!

If I could go back I wish I’d been less strict on screen time and given into the dancing fruits earlier than I did.

LupitosChips · 17/11/2024 17:55

I'm surrounded by people at baby groups saying how tired they are because their baby "still" wakes once per night. I would think I'd died and gone to heaven if DS only woke once. Last night he woke up 7 times.

OP posts:
LupitosChips · 17/11/2024 18:06

SoiledMyselfDuringSomeTurbulence · 17/11/2024 16:31

Still velcro at 4 months sounds like extremely hard going!

My eldest is 8 and he's still quite clingy 😭😭😭

OP posts:
LupitosChips · 18/11/2024 10:31

Awake every hour last night 😭

OP posts:
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