Saving for care in old age? How much? What are you planning for?

[rickyrickygrimes]

My parents are in their early 70s and trying to plan for their older age. Both are in good health.

They are trying to work out how much money they should / need to keep back for their old age. Without access to a working a crystal ball, how does anyone work this out?

At one extreme, my MIL is currently into her 4th year of fully-funded nursing care at £1700 per week. That's a cost to the taxpayer of nearly £400,000 already, and she could easily live on for many years to come. There is no way she could have saved for this or anything like it - she was a SAHM then a part-time admin assistant. She has a tiny pension that goes towards the costs but it's a drop in the ocean of her care costs. She's in a lovely private home (there are no council-run homes where they are any more) so she's not been disadvantaged by being state-funded for care.

At the other end of the spectrum, my mum's mum died instantly of a heart attack, aged 69, in her own bed / home. No carers, no care home, nothing needed. She might as well have spent or given away every last penny (and she pretty much did - she enjoyed her life up to the end!).

Stepping back, the statistics say that very few people end up needing residential care: if this is the case, then why does anyone (other than those who already know they will need for for whatever reason) even try to put aside the potentially huge amounts of money that might be needed? As another example, my uncle has managed to save £50K over the years that he desperately wants to leave to his children and grandchildren because it could make a big difference to their lives. If he needed the kind of care my MIL does, that pot would be gone in 6 months - and then he'd be funded by the state for the remainder of his life anyway.

Sometimes posters on here say that they've 'put aside money for care, so they don't have to rely on the state funded care', or words to that effect. If you've done this, how did you work out what you need to save / set aside? And how much have you been able to put into this pot? Are there any financial products - care insurance I guess - that exist? (And if the state will fund anyone who doesn't have a pot to piss in anyway, why would you take out this insurance anyway?)

Nursing homes in our area cost £2000 pm and up. There was no way we could have saved that sort of money and there is no way we could afford a live in carer either. The people who need to save for this eventuality are young people taking out a private pension that will give them the money they will need. One problem, is how much will be enough? 20 years ago my dad’s home cost £750 a week.

It is wrong to the think that the state will fund care if you don’t have the money. They refused to pay for a nursing home for my 102 year old mother who was sent home from hospital completely immobile with carers coming in four times a day. I ended up being with her all day, every day as she could not make a cup of tea or pick up the remote control if she dropped it. If you own a property they might pay but will claim the money back from the estate at a later date.

It is wrong to the think that the state will fund care if you don’t have the money. They refused to pay for a nursing home for my 102 year old mother who was sent home from hospital completely immobile with carers coming in four times a day. I ended up being with her all day, every day as she could not make a cup of tea or pick up the remote control if she dropped it.
I know this happens, and it's terrible. It seems to be down to the family to fight against it. There's lots of support on the Elderly Parents board for this. The hospital tried to do this same with my MIL - completely immobile, doubly incontinent, dementia and Parkinsons. FIL and SIL had to openly state they would not and could not care for her or keep her safe, even with carers coming, before the SW would accept that nursing care was the only option.

If you own a property they might pay but will claim the money back from the estate at a later date.
This also hasn't happened with MIL as far as we know anyway. She owns half of the small property that FIL lives in but there is no charge on it as far as we know. If FIL was to die and she inherited her half, then that would indeed go towards care costs: it might cover less than a year, then she'll be back to fully state-funded.

A financial advisor that I met with to talk about how much i needed to save for pension suggested another £600,000 would be needed if i didn't want to risk my house having to be used. That was a bit of a shock, i’m not sure my kids will be able to afford to buy a home with prices when they are grown up, so while i’d always thought that my house would be how i’d pay for care it is something to consider.

We're not specifically putting any money aside for care. If care is needed it will come from any cash/assets available and our 50% share of the house (house owned 50/50 with one share going into trust on 1st death).

I've made it clear to DS that he should not 'expect' an inheritance as it could be swallowed up in care costs, so not to pin his hopes on one - unless he's prepared to care for us himself (unlikely and definitely not expected!)

My DF died suddenly at home at 86, DM died in hospital at 87 having had carers into her home twice a day(part self funded, part state).FIL had self funded carers at home for the last year of life with MIL providing the rest of his care. He was 93 when he died. MIL is still living independently at 96 without any care atm.

I'm hoping we follow that pattern!

People can’t expect to leave an inheritance. DH and I may inherit from one parent who is still alive and it would be in the region of 300k. My Mother and his Father left their money, total of about 600k to their favourite child, not us obviously. Really my fear in old age is if I need care who will be doing it. More money may bring a nicer setting but it’s falling in to the clutches of unkind carers that’s my only worry. Two of my sisters were carers, one whistle blew on a home she worked in due to awful practices and unkind staff.