Still treated like a child

[BuntyBobz]

What is the most effective way of setting boundaries with overinvolved parents as an adult?

Move out

Living independently.

Tell them very little about your life.

Tell em sod all

Be prepared to walk away, not apologise, be comfortable with their disapproval, don't feel compelled to argue your case.

Don't tell them your business. The less they know, the less opinions and advice they can give.
Distance yourself, don't rely on them for anything and don't buckle when they question your new attitude.

That happened many years ago.

I have controlling parents and I moved out many years ago. It's hard, some days are easier than others but I have learnt not to tell them much and keep visits brief every couple weeks. I'm 40s and they still dictate what I do, where I go, where I holiday, buying my 1st home was dreadful and my mental health plummeted big time. I can't offer much advise but it's difficult xx

Solidarity @Haribosweets I'm 40s too, that sounds tough.

Look up FOG (fear obligation guilt) and grey rock/ medium chill.

What is it they are over-involved about? Because the resolution depends on the circumstances

I would say keep them on an information diet. Anyrhing you say may be used against you, so watch out. Also, remind yourself everyday that living your life on your terms is the best way to "repay" them: you don't own them anything else (well, besides the basic obligation to provide some kind of care when needed). Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
Easier said than done.
Good luck 💐

They can't comment, judge or influence what they don't know. Information control is the best method to manage them

Just life really. Lots of unsolicited advice, doing tasks around the house unasked, dropping in unannounced, buying things they think I should have but don't actually need, pointing out really obvious things like, be careful the kettle's hot etc.

You decide. I decided at 30, right I’m an adult now. Enjoy saying “I’m a grown woman”.

These are all just things a loving family will do. Be grateful, one day they won’t be around anymore to pop in and help

Ok. How to help? I know a person who puts a coat on when answering their (locked) door and says they're going out if the person/s at door is a visitor/s they don't want at the time (this person isn't me but I understand why they do it). People shouldn't be turning up unannounced at your home. The stuff they buy you don't need - tell them to either take it back or that as you don't need it you'll donate it to charity. Kettle hot scenario. That, although annoying, I would just ignore. Then every few days for the next month, turn up at their door unannounced when they would be having a bath/dinner/going out somewhere with a small gift (a packet of biscuits, some soap, a candle) and give them a dose of their own medicine, stay a few minutes then leave. Years ago, I had a very beloved MIL. She started calling unannounced when I was on mat leave. After a while, I started leaving her sitting on the couch and getting on with the cleaning/cooking I would've been doing and the unannounced visits stopped

Thanks @GranPepper I like it and I'm borrowing the coat trick!

They're not abusive in any way @BoldAmberDuck and I love them both very much.