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DP undermining me when it comes to parenting

9 replies

millz8 · 16/11/2024 13:18

He works away all week and comes home on a Friday and I'm at my wits end with arguing about it. Few examples this week/last week; DS (3) is loaded with cold, he was heading out in the garden with DP to tidy some bits up and I said he needed his coat on, DP said it wasn't even cold (it was) so obviously DS hears and picks up on this and gets upset at me for telling him to put his coat on. He was playing with his toys and we had planned on going out to the park, he asked to watch some tv I said not right now because we are heading out and he'd also just watched some with his lunch, DP said he can watch one episode, once again making me to look like the bad guy because I still said no. This is just since yesterday, there are more things from last weekend. No matter how many times I go over it and explain it's like he can't help himself. Anyway they've gone to the park just the 2 of them now because I didn't want the shitty atmosphere and I'm absolutely pig sick of it. I'm pregnant with our second so maybe I'm a bit more sensitive than usual but I'm now stupidly sat upstairs really upset and feel like another day is just wasted. DS only wants DP when he's home and I feel like it's because he just gives him and is the one to say yes when I say no.

OP posts:
banananapancake · 16/11/2024 13:30

Leave him to it and go have some fun!

RedHelenB · 16/11/2024 13:32

Yabu and interfering in the first eg. Second one, he shouldn't have interfered.

soupfiend · 16/11/2024 13:34

Say yes more often

Why is your way always right?

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AuroraBo · 16/11/2024 13:35

Leave him to it. He can look after DS while you rest, read, bath, see friends

Stormyweatheroutthere · 16/11/2024 13:37

Surely he needs a chance to parent his dc at the weekend when you have him all week? Take a step back and relax..

millz8 · 16/11/2024 13:38

He is the same with sweets too, last weekend when he was last home I said no because we'd be having lunch soon, DP gives him it. The coat situation I didn't see it as me interfering, because it simply was cold, and he's loaded at the moment so I wanted him to be wrapped up, then DP but in to say it wasn't even cold (he doesn't feel the cold as much). I'm reading upstairs but can't really concentrate, just feel really shitty. DS really picks up on these things.

OP posts:
millz8 · 16/11/2024 13:42

Stormyweatheroutthere · 16/11/2024 13:37

Surely he needs a chance to parent his dc at the weekend when you have him all week? Take a step back and relax..

Of course, and he does. He takes the lead on a lot of things but I just feel like whenever I say no he says yes and DS has picked up on this and gravitates towards him because he probably sees me as the stricter one. I work all week too so weekends are also my chance to make sure I'm making the most of the time with DS.

OP posts:
Flittingaboutagain · 16/11/2024 13:46

Why is it that the lax parent gets to set the bar though and the other one has to keep quiet? How come his parenting means shittier standards re food, TV and inappropriate clothes?

soupfiend · 16/11/2024 14:06

Flittingaboutagain · 16/11/2024 13:46

Why is it that the lax parent gets to set the bar though and the other one has to keep quiet? How come his parenting means shittier standards re food, TV and inappropriate clothes?

Is it lax

If the child is cold, they'll soon learn through natural consequences that they're cold.

If this child was living with his father half the week that is the experience he would have, the rules about sweets and TV would be different.

Are they 'shitty standards'? Thats a whole heap of mums and dads youve just swept up in that description there.

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