Is this normal toddler behaviour

[Hhhhi]

So atm DS (3 at start of Dec) is anti getting ready, he refuses to very rarely gets dressed with ease. I’ve started bribing him (a few raisins, or a little bit of his fav tv show) just so we can get out the door on time ! And I have a 6.5 mo so it’s hard getting both ready

teeth brushing he’s hit and miss and baths he’s starting to refuse. A bit. I thought this was normal as he’s older just wants to assert his independence

however I just seen a quote that said “The level of cooperation parents get from their children is usually equal to the level of connection children feel with their parents.
— Pam Leo”

so now I feel like an awful mum and my child doesn’t feel connected with me?

is this quote more about older kids and different topics though rather than a toddler doing simple tasks like getting dressed etc??

I thought it’s normal toddler s have a little defiance stage

I would say its fairly normal and nothing to do with the connection you have with him

I have to bribe my daughter (also 3 in December) almost every day to brush her teeth and getting dressed can be a real challenge too. With the brushing teeth, I think it's a bit of a battle of wills between us as it's an absolute non negotiable for me.

Normal toddler behavior in my opinion. I'd be more concerned if they complied with everything.

What I will say is I have found myself getting caught up in the morning, rushing around getting ready for work, on a few occasions and sometimes this can set the tone for it to be a bit difficult.
When I can notice it happening we have a bit of a reset. I give her a big cuddle and make sure I'm on her level and it mostly works.

Normal!

Not only normal but absolutely expected with a toddler and a baby.

I think that quote is rubbish.

"The level of cooperation parents get from their children is usually equal to the level of need for them to get their bloody shoes on NOW as opposed to hoping they'll take their sweet time so you can finish your cup of tea because you don't even want to go to the sodding playground again.
— Fromage”

Pam is potentially talking more about older children/different contexts but I still don’t really agree with her. 3 year olds are designed to be cute little terrors who push your buttons and then give you the biggest hug. It’s normal to have a no phase.

My children are much older but mornings are still a trigger point for grumpiness from all. I have one who is quick but disorganised and one that is very put together but slow and faffy. It’s nothing to do with connection- it’s about their individual personalities and being a bit tired in the morning.

Child 1 will get dressed and eat like she’s on a military parade, sit and faff about then realise as we’re leaving the door she doesn’t have what she needs. Child 2 will stretch every task to take as long as humanly possible so I have to chivvy that one while reminding the other one not to forget her water bottle for the 500th time.

Haha bullshit

I dunno who Pam Leo is but she can fuck off.

That quote is designed to make you feel like shit, and then and try to remedy the situation by buying whatever book they're selling/following their content.

Just because someone says something, doesn't mean it's true 🤷‍♀️

Toddlers are notoriously stroppy, argumentative and uncooperative. Pick your battles. I got a load of comfy trackies/leggings and tshirts, got mine dressed before bed, then we were good to go in the morning! Once they were out of the toddler stage they stopped behaving like toddlers - it's no reflection on "connection" or any such bullshit.

I have never had to bribe my toddlers but I do collaborate so for instance I offer as many choices as possible. Shall we get you dressed first or brush your hair/teeth? Which of these leggings do you want to wear today? I also find if I'm not mindful enough of language and our relationship I get more pushback so I think that quote is true personally. For instance, if I ask the toddlers to wait because I've got to do X first (and X isn't about or obviously for them) they feel a bit rejected and express it behaviourally. If I make a game up (like racing to the bedroom to find X) so they're still waiting but don't realise it, there's no issue. If it's been a long day of the former, bedtime is so much harder, they're less co-operative etc.

Don't bribe with raisins. The dentist told me the single food he'd recommend avoiding as a snack is raisins it's like coating their teeth in sugar to rot all day after brushing.

Mine had to be forced into clothes more often than not at that age!

however I just seen a quote that said “The level of cooperation parents get from their children is usually equal to the level of connection children feel with their parents.
— Pam Leo”

What utter nonsense. To give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe it's true for older children (I don't know, I don't have much older children) but not for this age.

At 3, my DDs were far more cooperative for people they didn't even know eg if we met a relative they didn't remember meeting before, or a friend of ours, or the parent of a friend of theirs at a play date etc. For those people they were quiet, accepted and ate any food given, went along with any activity suggested. They were too unsure to be uncooperative.
I've read that for young children it's actually the opposite - they feel safe enough with you to express their (stroppy) preferences.

Best. Quote. Ever. And I don’t even have kids!

That quote is absolute garbage and just another way of people feeling smug about their parenting because they have a compliant whereas the reality is thst a large proportion of a child’s temperament is nature and how they are born that way.

a child that gets seven hells beaten out of it if it doesn’t comply is also more likely to be compliant but not a good connection with parent so doesn’t follow at all

That quote is hilarious OP, thanks for sharing. I'd love to live in a world where toddlers were cooperative just because they loved you and wanted to make you happy.

If anything, I'd say the opposite was true. Children push back against the people they are closest to, as they feel safe and secure enough to know they won't be less loved. I work with severely neglected children and most of them are desperate to do what their parents say, as they know if they don't they'll get beaten or treated even worse. But even among children who aren’t in dire situations, almost every child I’ve taught (of any age up to 11) has been a hundred times more cooperative for me than their parents.

Not in any way representative of my experience of motherhood. How odd you are even on a thread like this when you don't want to be a parent.

I have the same with my 3 year old. I'm pretty confident in my connection with him, I think it's just toddlers 😂

The quote is rubbish. Your child is learning that if they behave a certain way they get the result they want. You’re the parent, some things aren’t negotiable. Pick your battles and be consistent. You’ve got this.