Worried about DSs friend

[Verbena193]

DS is 15, in year 11. He said he was sitting next to a friend in maths today and the friend was unusually quiet. DS asked him if he was OK and he started crying. DS said no one else noticed and he won't tell DS what had upset him.

I don't know this friend or the family. DS is going to text him to check in on him but I can't stop worrying about him. In my experience it takes a lot for a lad of that age to start crying infront of their mates.

I don't think there's anything I can do really is there?

You could contact school and ask pastoral staff to check in with him.

You could get DS to tell him that your house has an open door policy and if he ever needs anything or to get away for a bit he is always welcome at your house. He may open up more when away from school?

I agree. I am especially aware that lads of this age can find it difficult to articulate or show their emotions to explain really how they are feeling. It was lovely of your lad to give him the opportunity to at least express or let out some of his frustration/upset at that time. It matters that we look out for each other and sometimes that can just mean a quick text or message to check.

Poor kid. Your lad sounds like a lovely friend. Maybe he can invite him over this weekend or early next week after school. And yes, promote an open door policy. I hope he is ok.

If possible I would promote an open door policy for this friend. It may be that they are just sad (bereavement, etc) or they may be in need of more help and a safe space to hang out may be very useful.

Your son sounds lovely OP. Let him know his welcome to your house if he'd like some time away and to chat to your Ds

Your son sounds lovely.

I've always my kids that our house is an open and a safe space, and I have told their close friends I see regularly that too. They all have my number and know if they ever need help, I'll come and pick them up if they need to, bring them back to ours and let their parents know(if appropriate) they're with me, but that I'll keep anything they say in confidence (unless a safeguarding concern which I would talk to school/police.) It's come in handy once when my sons best friends big sister had an argument with her mum. She came to ours while she calmed down, I text mum to say she was with me, safe and just taking a breather, and let the girl talk. Didn't take sides, just listened and encouraged her to talk to her mum. Both mum and girl appreciated it.

Could you do something like this? Obviously depends on how well.you know the boy but get your son to let him know you're a safe space.

Hope the lad is OK and good on your boy for being a good mate.

Thanks for all the replies.

DS has checked in and the friend says he's fine but hasn't gone into any kind of detail. DS has invited him to gym tomorrow and then they're going to walk into town for a chippy so he might open up a bit but even if he doesn't the distraction might help.

Report in confidence to pastoral team at school

ask DS to invite him home to hang out.

I'm so pleased you and your son are following up
On this boy. Who knows what he's going through.
I agree that pastoral at school would be a good shout too. They might have more pieces of the puzzle.

Just wanted to say your son sounds lovely and kind ☺️ well done Mama 💐