Feel unable to speak to my wife about my mental health

[Poopookoo]

Just that really. I am mid 40s bloke, married, with 2 kids. I face the same struggle many people face: worries about money, kids etc but I have no one I can really speak to about my problems.

I have been feeling completely overwhelmed over the past few years. I probably a very mild case of constant anxiety, this constant fear that something horrible is going to happen.

I don’t have any close friends that I can discuss this with nor any siblings.

The relationship with my wife isn’t good, lots of niggling little arguments and lots of stress, and unhappiness on both sides. She has her own MH issues so I don’t want to burden her.
I don’t think she has any idea of how I am feeling.

I feel very scared, alone and frightened, not hopeful, about the future. A few weeks ago, I just burst into tears, thankfully I was alone but it was a relief to get it out of my system.

Google male mental health peer support groups mate. They're springing up all over the place. Great places to chat openly about 'men' type issues and so helpful.
Also - try therapy/ counselling - changed my life years ago.
Check your local NHS for self referral talk therapy too.
You really are not alone.

I'm so sorry you are feeling that way. Please talk to a professional, maybe some face time counselling for now and a chat with your GP about the anxiety. You do need to talk to her but maybe it would be best to process it a little first. Life is hard rearing a family I think most people feel overwhelmed at some point.

As difficult as it may seem to do, I would really try to take some time out and sit with your wife and explain how you're feeling, while also acknowledging her struggles. You may very well find it allows you to both lean into one another and support one another, therefore strengthening the relationship. You may find the niggiling arguments are because you're both feeling a similar way but are bottling it up and have little outsource for your problems.
I have my own MH problems but if my Husband was going through this I'd absolutely want him to reach out and make it known. A problem shared is a problem halved.
Unless of course you feel as though she will weaponise it against you. But your post doesn't indicate as much.
I'd also suggest reaching out to your GP for support, they can make referrals and suggest mediation. X

I am really sorry you cannot talk to your wife about this but you are not alone!

I am not a medical professional but what you describe does sound like anxiety and it’s severe enough for you to make an appointment with you GP and ask for medication. A family member of mine went through something similar and medication plus therapy really helped!

sending you lots of positive energy and please don’t lose hope! This too shall end. ❤️

Think you've been given some good advice above and just wanted to send some support across a post as well.

Thanks all. Sometimes it just feels very cathartic to write something down