How do parents manage debt from adult child with SEN?

[Debtwarrant]

Adult ds . Enhanced rates of PIP. Small PT job. Health issues and ASD and ADHD.

Massive financial issues that we have just uncovered . Ds won’t speak to us , we can’t call and deal with it unless he gives permission but he won’t/ can’t.

He lives here at home with us but what do we do if bailiffs attend ? Will they understand that everything belongs to us not Ds and not take anything and do we have to show proof of SEN etc ? How do we deal with this ?

It’s different to power of attorney this is the PIP appointee system we had to have a home visit where they spoke to him amd he was clear he wanted me to have the money and to use it as appropriate for him as he admitted he can’t manage money at all and would spend it immediately on rubbish

DO NOT DO THIS! It is fraud. Your calls will be recorded and compared if they suspect you are doing this. Not only that but how stupid do you think these companies are? Of course they can tell the difference between a teenager and a man in his forties!

Yes you’re right I’m just so anxious about bailiffs turning up. Ds hasnt left his room today didn’t go to work and won’t speak at all now since I found the letters

I don't have any specific advice but I do have experience of someone who superficially appeared to be functioning well enough but who also really wasn't able to make financial decisions. It was very tricky. I hope you manage to get it sorted out and I'm sure you can't be the first person in this position so hopefully you will get some more sympathetic advice.

Did he definitely spend it on himself and not be coerced by others?

As far as I can tell but then only information I’ve been able to get is from him throwing a bag with empty containers in from very expensive shower gels/body products/ aftershave etc so without verbalising it I think that’s where some of it’s been used . I’m leaving him to decompress and hopefully tomorrow he will regain speech this happens a lot if hes under pressure he will stop talking so i need to just try again when he’s calmer

The fact he recognises that he can't control himself is positive - I'd seek legal advice regarding being appointed living power of attorney or variant of that, he might need to agree dependent on his level of SEN and willingness to do it.

We are subscribed to Experian, you can see what debt you have and also has a facility to creditlock your account, so loan companies, etc can't credit check you and therefore likely to turn you down for credit - can you try to talk him into this as it will give you a picture of his debts and some control on further lending?

As to bailiffs - I would install a ring or similar doorbell and make sure everyone knows not to open the door to strangers until this is sorted out. I would also seek legal advice to whether they can enter a property not owned / leased by the person they are searching for.

You could challenge any loan companies on what fitness tests they had performed and how a vulnerable person managed to get such debt. Refer to the FOS if answers not good enough - they may instruct the lenders to discharge the debt if they agree with your stance,

I'd go through you emails and see if you have order confirmations for usual stuff Bailiffs remove, as proof for a worst case scenario.

When the bailiffs turn up you need to get DS out of his room to speak to them. He will have to face up to it and ignoring it will just escalate it further.

They won't be able to.seize a motability lease car so make sure you have evidence that the car is from the scheme.

Do you have the means to pay it in full for him? That would be the best option but completely understandable if you can't/won't.

After paying in full.the next best option is to agree a payment plan. What can you realistically afford? Is all the PIP going on therapy & medication? Do you contribute otherwise to new clothes, activities etc? If so you could withhold that money & offer that amount as a payment plan.

Seizing goods is the worst outcome for everyone. They will likely start with the items he bought on credit then any technology, computer, games console, air pods etc. They will likely take everything of any value from his room. Try to avoid it escalating to that outcome.

Going forwards van you charge him a 'rent' from his salary and then give him back the money as he needs it to help learn budgeting etc rather than letting him blow his money time after time.

Hopefully the shock & reality of bailiffs will help open his eyes to what he's doing & will be more open to having a serious conversation over his shopping and spending.

Debt charities can help with blocking some of his access to credit. Having ccjs & bailiff enforcement action against his name will also make it more difficult for him to access credit in the future.

Don't let your DS speak with anyone without legal advice - if you speak to the bailiffs (via ring doorbell) disclose he is a vulnerable person and you are seeking legal advice.

OP it will be obvious that DS is living in the family home. It would therefore have to be a monumentally stupid bailiff who tried to take the washing machine, fridge, sofa, TV, beds or anything else that is obviously family and 99.99999% certain belongs to you. However anything in his room they would consider fair game whoever had paid for it. That doesn't mean you should remove stuff to elsewhere in the house. If his room was half bare then they would get suspicious and might start eyeing up things that are legitimately yours.

But if it comes to it he either tells you what's happened and gives you formal permission to act on his behalf or he has to face it himself. Not answering the door, closing the curtains and hiding behind the sofa won't make it go away. They'll just come back another day and interest will have made the debt even higher.

Bailiffs don't spend too much time caring about that. So if they see a laptop or iPad in the living room , they'll seize it. You then have to show evidence it's not DSs. This is stressful and time consuming
Best not to let them in

Not sure what you mean?

I've 2 adult children with SEN. 1 with autism/ADHD & the other with autism & LD. Both live at home & never likely to be fully independent.

Then I would expect you to know that for many SEN adults ‘getting them out of their room to speak to the bailiffs’ is between impossible and torture.

And that you can’t just ‘open their eyes and shock them’ into understanding their behaviour.

Actually makes me really sad to read this from a SEN parent.

I think you are quoting the wrong person as I haven't used the words you've put in quotation marks anywhere in my posts & certainly not language I've ever used

I teach mine to be as independent as possible so if they have done something serious or wrong (which DS certainly has done) they do have to face up to that & understand it. Brushing it under the carpet & making it go away for them because it's uncomfortable for them won't do them any favours. They understand it is better to be open and tell me when they have made a made a mistake or are in trouble.

My DC have significant needs but they are still adults & members of society. They have rights like everyone else but they also have responsibilities. They will feel uncomfortable when they've done something wrong. That's very normal & I do everything I can to support them to understand those feelings but they can't hide in their rooms to avoid ever feeling uncomfortable.

You have said all of those things here.

each person with SEN will be totally different. Some of the things you suggest just aren’t possible for my Ds to understand or do it’s not through lack of trying

Ok firstly you need to contact all of tbe companie he is in debt to and explain he is vulnerable, they have duties under FCA rules to treat vulnerable people fairly.

Does he have capacity to make financial decisions? Remember making unwise decisions is not the same as not having capacity. If he recognises he has a problem he may be willing to agree to something like POA or putting markers on his credit file. CIFAS may be able to help there.

He’s extremely intelligent and understood he wouldn’t be able to manage pip it’s just he has no impulse control at all so it’s more unwise decisions and compulsive spending

Is he considered to have capacity? If so then I'm not sure what you can do without his permission

If you think he lacks the capacity then things need to be put in place surrounding finances for him - LPA or a friendly trust or similar

So it sounds like he has capacity to make financial decisions but is vulnerable due to his additional needs.

I would talk to a debt charity to explore what is available to help him and put some safeguards in place.

However I think a lot of this will only work if he understands he has a problem and is open to help.

OP, this happened with my younger brother (also SEN, has ongoing addiction issues)

Do not phone up and have someone pretend to be him, that's terrible advice. That may cause problems later down the line when you may need these companies to engage with you and help your family. If they have been lied to, they will be less likely to want to help.

There is a good guide to options for dealing with debt on the Scope website: https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/practical-emotional-advice-when-in-debt

Citizens Advice may be able to help too. They will be able to give advice about what the family can do to protect themselves in these circumstances.

Enforcement agencies must, by law, make reasonable adjustments if a person is vulnerable. It is therefore in his best interests if they can see/hear that for themselves, if possible.

I don't know if you have his permission to talk to his therapist, but could they help by providing a letter stating that he is in therapy and name compulsive spending as one of his difficulties? You could also provide evidence of any medication he takes, anything from the GP or any support agencies he engages with. My brother's psychologist was able to help in his case, partly with getting through to him that it wasn't an option to ignore this, and partly by providing evidence that he was vulnerable and should not be given credit in future.

Nope do not open the door. Never open the door to bailiffs!. Keep trying to make an arrangement with the companies in the meantime. Go to CAB

You using his mobility allowance to fund a car that you use as a family car is wrong;if he was driving it would be fair enough but he isn't;if his money wasn't funding it you'd have to pay for your own.

You could have used some of the PIP towards fuel costs when running your son to work/appointments but he shouldn't be funding the whole vehicle.

It’s allowed it actually states in the lease agreement all the details how it can be used for the person receiving care for any need and as a car to get to and from work etc anything that benefits the claimant