What must I do to regulate my emotions?

[ThisSereneHiker]

For someone who suffers from autism or ADHD, it’s common to experience extreme emotional reactions to adverse events or hold onto grudges for a long time. How do people considered "neurotypical" typically react to such events?

I used to be in therapy and take meds but meds gave me side effects and therapy is expensive.

@ThisSereneHiker are you going to engage with people on this thread or just give your normal short and brusque answers?

You start so may threads and people spend their time giving you long and detailed answers to try and support you and you just don't engage in return.

For this thread you need to give some examples of the adverse events so that people can tell you how they would deal with it. Are you talking about missing g a bus / being stuck in traffic? Or failing your professional exams and being let go?

mainly interpsonal shit.... like dealing with a snaky coworker?

Maybe there are better modalities out there now but something like DBT could help with emotional disregulation and distress tolerance.

Don't ask NT people how they manage. They aren't the same as you so their strategies are not likely to work for you.

The things I do and have taught others to do is-

1. Have a selection of physical movement actions that calm me. Mine are spinning, mini trampoline and dancing. 2)Set timers to fully feel an emotion. E.g. say something incredibly unjust happens and I feel furious for the person and want to rage at the world for it an hold people accountable. I might allow myself 45 minutes (set an alarm) to be entirely consumed by thoes thoughts and feelings. Telling my brain that at the end of the timer, it has to be put away.
2. Know and plan for/avoid my own triggers.

Again more information is needed, are you in the office together / WFH? Last you wrote you were starting teacher training, did you?

Either way you remain professional, take a step back if necessary for breathing space if you feel dysregulated. Address them calmly and collected perhaps in writing if you require evidence, talk to your line manager or follow the grievance process.