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A message to myself

10 replies

Sadasad · 12/11/2024 22:31

Life isn’t the same anymore. People you love have passed. You are responsible for every action you make. You are responsible for keeping your life and your house together. You can’t take it anymore. Your relationships are failing. Nothing feels real. Nothing feels how it used to. Your childhood has made you the way you are today. I will never forget but I try to forgive. Just want everything to be okay again, but was it ever okay before? Maybe it is better now. It doesn’t feel like it though. I just want to go to sleep. My chest hurts and I’m tired

OP posts:
Sadasad · 12/11/2024 22:34

Maybe someone feels the same? Not sure, I hope so?

OP posts:
Ratfinkstinkypink · 12/11/2024 22:36

I did in the immediate aftermath of DH's death but I am coming out the other side now. Have you always felt this way or has something triggered it?

Cravingtoffeeapples · 12/11/2024 22:36

So sorry 😔

Sadasad · 12/11/2024 22:40

Ratfinkstinkypink · 12/11/2024 22:36

I did in the immediate aftermath of DH's death but I am coming out the other side now. Have you always felt this way or has something triggered it?

I have felt this way on and off for as long as I can remember, I think there is something wrong with me. This time, there is no specific trigger I guess, just the general crushing reality of real life

OP posts:
Sadasad · 12/11/2024 22:44

I’m thinking medication may help. It has been years with no change. Have good days then straight back down again. Anxiety over meeting close friends and going to work has been my tipping point now, it can not go on. I wish I could feel okay without being so overwhelmed by the simple tasks of life like washing and doing housework. Of course I still do it, but it feels crushing and completely overwhelms my mind when I think of how much I need to do. I think I just want to wrap up in a big blanket and sleep for a while.

OP posts:
IHateClothesShopping · 12/11/2024 22:51

Did you have a bad childhood and now have poor mental health?

I am overwhelmed easily and stressed out much more than others seem to be by things.

I think my coping skills are poor due to an unstable, violent childhood resulting in poor mental health.

I often feel exhausted and overwhelmed at the never ending list of things to do. Even small errands just piss me off like I can never get 'finished'

AD's can help with anxiety as well as depression so perhaps you should consider.

I also find dealing with others very exhausting and so now avoid it as much as possible.

Sadasad · 12/11/2024 22:58

IHateClothesShopping · 12/11/2024 22:51

Did you have a bad childhood and now have poor mental health?

I am overwhelmed easily and stressed out much more than others seem to be by things.

I think my coping skills are poor due to an unstable, violent childhood resulting in poor mental health.

I often feel exhausted and overwhelmed at the never ending list of things to do. Even small errands just piss me off like I can never get 'finished'

AD's can help with anxiety as well as depression so perhaps you should consider.

I also find dealing with others very exhausting and so now avoid it as much as possible.

Yes exactly. I hope this doesn’t come across wrong but I am so glad to hear I’m not alone. Everything you’ve said resonates with me extremely, do you take anti depressants yourself?

OP posts:
IHateClothesShopping · 12/11/2024 23:11

Sadasad · 12/11/2024 22:58

Yes exactly. I hope this doesn’t come across wrong but I am so glad to hear I’m not alone. Everything you’ve said resonates with me extremely, do you take anti depressants yourself?

No problem. Glad it helped a little bit to know you are not alone.

Yip been on AD's for years (got them on repeat perscription) and the doctors never question it.

Took me till I was about 40 to starting making sense of alot of the bad, destructive decisions I had made.

I would need alot of therapy to fix myself and quite honestly I'm too old and knackered and the cost of private therapy for a long time is huge.

I accepted a long time ago I was not suited to relationships as stable, peaceful relationships make me very on edge waiting for the abuse/violence to start.

If good things happen I am stressed waiting for it to fall apart (in my childhood good things never lasted). Sometimes the stress is so bad I destroy it myself for 'relief'

I was married for a time but divorced now.

Lots of unhealthy coping strategies - overeating, isolating myself, worrying alot, used to be a perfectionist and still am in lots of ways, OCD, etc.

To the outside world I look perfectly normal apart from the extra weight (which is getting out of hand to be honest). Inside though I am a fucked up, unstable child that never grew up, can't cope with rejection at all and am very scared of angry people.

People who have good, stable childhoods with kind parents who teach them good coping skills and a solid foundation to build upon are very, very lucky.

I have no idea how much my bad start robbed from me till later in life when I began to make sense of things. My self esteem is in the toilet.

I think life for us is just a struggle to get through it. I do often think death will be a relief as it will be the first time ever I have truly been at peace from the turmoil inside my head.

You are not alone.

Sadasad · 12/11/2024 23:34

I know it sounds stupid but every time I have worked up the courage to try and go to the doctors for ADs, I’ve talked myself out of it, thinking I feel better maybe I don’t need them… and then once I’d decided I’m not going anymore, I’d fall right back into it. I think I need to just take the plunge. I think I am also scared that they will say no? Or that I’m not bad enough.. I think I will live to regret it if I don’t do it now as I’m still young so I should probably take my chance now.
Me too, it would take so much therapy to sort this out, besides, I really wouldn’t even know where to start. I think I am the only person who understands myself, but when I try and get my thoughts together to take to a therapist, it’s like everything gets muddled up and I just can’t think straight.
Everything you have said is so painfully relatable, and I’m sorry you also feel this way. It is unbearable most days, but no one really knows.
Thank you for saying this.

OP posts:
Ratfinkstinkypink · 12/11/2024 23:51

I think a lot of us with troubled childhoods recognise what you are feeling. It took me til my 50s to get to a point where life is mainly ok. I was always terrified of medication for some reason, seeing myself as somehow lesser because I needed it yet I never judged anyone who took ADs. I think it is our inner childhood voices that stop us, when I am in a dark place my mother's opinions of me shout the loudest in my head.

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