NC for this. Long time lurker; Sistine chapel, Korean lady in garden. It’s a bit long.
I’m 36, at the age of 17 I was up skirted by a teacher and I’m still a bit confused about my feelings so wanted to sound off in an anonymous forum. Also I’ve had a gin.
I was struggling with Biology, which was essential to my intended career so my parents hired a private science tutor to help me with my A Levels. I had my last session the afternoon before my exam.
I arrived home from the beach with my sister and cousin at the same time as my tutor arrived. I had a bikini on with a white pleated tennis skirt (it was my favourite), and I can’t remember what top I was wearing, it was probably a standard primark vest (knowing how I dressed at the time).
Part way through the session, near the end I think, I heard the sound of a phone taking a photo…this was before smartphones so the sound was recognisable. He was sitting opposite me at the dining table. I looked up and saw his arm positioned away from his body under the table and felt a chill. I tried to ignore it and carry on, not long later (maybe seconds, minutes, I can’t remember) he made an excuse to go to his car and left his phone in the middle of the table.
As soon as he left I picked his phone up and looked (I can’t remember if PINS were a thing then but he obviously didn’t have one), I saw a photo (though blurry) of myself under the table. I panicked and didn’t delete it and put his phone back where he left it just as he returned. Not long after this the session ended and my parents thanked him with some lovely bottles of red wine and he left. As soon as the door closed I remember breaking down about what had happened.. crying and explaining etc.
They called the police and an officer came over that afternoon to speak to us. He took my statement and said that the chances of anything happening were very slim and that court etc would be incredibly stressful with a poor outicome. So we left it. The officer said if he got pulled up for anything else in future that my statement would get flagged up and then I may be asked to stand in court. I don’t remember the specifics but I am sure that at the time it was implied that how I was dressed was relevant, and that I had just come home from a day at the beach. Although it was a long time ago I remember feeling the officer had implied/said that before MeToo was a thing and I started thinking about it from an adult POV.
A few years ago my child started school and I realised that I was having very strong feelings about having to see this guy again as I didn’t know where he was teaching. I called the police enquiry line and was able to talk it through a bit. They said that at the time, due to the quality of camera phones, upskirting wasn’t a prosecutable offence so everything had been handled correctly. They said they could tell me where he was teaching so I would be aware for which I was grateful. I said, as an adult, that if he should be pulled up for anything else I would go to court if needed. They told me he was 26 at the time of the offence.
I don’t think about it that often but when I do I am increasingly frustrated about the lack of action. This man was (and still is) a DBS checked teacher. How and why on Earth doesn’t this affect the DBS? Even then? Regardless of the fact that he was ‘only 26’ and that the photo was blurry?? I don’t understand and I guess I just needed to get this off my chest, as talking to the police didn’t seem to give me much closure and I still get wound up on the rare occasion it comes up.
Thank you for reading, I hope I’ve included all the relevant bits x