How to stop obsessing over housework on MAT leave?

[Iwanttobreakfreeeeeee]

I’m currently on MAT leave waiting for DC2 to arrive any day now and I cannot stop obsessing over cleaning! There’s always something I could be doing and it’s driving me mad!

Some of it must be nesting but this is exactly what happened with my first DC during MAT leave. I spent my entire maternity leave obsessively trying to maintain an unrealistic standard of cleanliness. I felt I couldn’t relax or enjoy any activities (with or without my DC) unless the house was pristine (every room). Obviously it was unattainable so I never fully relaxed, never enjoyed a hobby, never felt fully present with my baby. I really don’t want to waste my leave that way again, especially now I’ll have a newborn and a toddler. Any tips/wisdom/quotes on relaxing and not feeling like an awful mother if the house is a bit messy?

For a bit of context, DH is helpful around the house and cooks a lot but works full time. He can never seem to match my cleanliness standards so even when he does help I end up going over it again! 😳

If it's at a level where it doesn't feel like it's under your control, or it's impeding other aspects of your life I'd speak to your GP.

Do you feel like that all the time or is it just the pre & post partum times? Hormones are funny things and we only talk about the big, obvious things like PND.

Would it help to restrict yourself to only cleaning at certain times? I drive myself mad if I try and keep the house tidy, and I’m much more relaxed if I just sort it out and then resolutely ignore until cleaning time.

I had a friend who would hand the kids over to her husband after work , head upstairs and clean with her headphones in while he gave them dinner. Then she’d clean up downstairs while he did bed and baths. Worked brilliantly for them - it was just what always happened so the dc didn’t fuss much. He was hands on with the DC and grateful to escape the housework. And she got to crack on with the work without interruptions or guilt.