To really want to hold off anti depressants

[PanAmHostess]

But don't know if I'm able? I came off them slowly in July. I have never known pain in my head like it. I'm not coping great but I'm trying. Have been on some type for 17 years with breaks for ttc. I really don't want to spiral but I tried so hard to get off them and don't want to go back on.

Sorry to hear what you are going through. Depression is awful. Did the meds work for you? If so, why do you want to come off? There's no shame in taking meds for an illness. Every morning my DH takes his diabetes meds and my 18 year old DD and I take our mental health meds. They keep us well.

I'm on antidepressants they work great for me so I have no intention of ever coming of them. Is their a reason you want to come of them

For various reasons I decided to come off Fluoxetine in February after being on it for 14 years. I was taking it before that but I came off it when ex-DH decided we wanted to try for a baby.

I was doing ok for the first 3 months, had quite a lot of side effects from coming off it but managed to get through that.

I thought I was ok, managing at least, and then slowly but surely the depression crept back in. I didn't notice it at first, then it hit me. Probably sounds silly, but I noticed I'd stopped singing to the cat. I'm a terrible singer but I'd made up a little ditty about her when she was a kitten and it kinda stuck. I was prone to belting it out at various times of the day and bloody loved it. Not singing to the cat was a wake up call. I then realised I just had no motivation to do anything, stopped doing anything I enjoyed, couldn't concentrate on anything. Just felt numb really. Everything was pointless, I couldn't find any positives about life at all. This was august.

At the end of august I went back on fluoxetine. I really didn't want to, thought I was a failure. but I knew in the long run it would be for the best. And it really has been for the best. The cat is back to enduring my singing, I've started taking an interest in life again, things don't feel as pointless. I'm never going to be a relentlessly happy or relaxed person. It's not in my nature. But I know that I can't function without them and I will never come off them again.

Honestly I worry what they're doing to my brain. It can't be great long term antidepressants can it ?

That was one of my concerns. But I know that if I didn't go back on them I was likely to get to the point where I might do something drastic. So I reconcile it that I either live by taking them or possibly die if I don't.

Could you try this? I've no experience of it but it's apparently available on the NHS.
www.flowneuroscience.com/

Is anyone going to be on them for life?

As I said, I will never come off them again.

I will be on them for life. Just like I will take asthma medication for life. Did you come off them slowly with the advice of a medical professional?

One of the most trapping things about depression is how it stops you doing the things that tend to lift our mood - exercise, social activities, good diet and fresh air can all make a big difference but in the throes of depression they're just too difficult. Antidepressants can help provide the headspace to make positive lifestyle changes and establish them as a part of your routine.

Once you have these habits established you could try, under medical supervision, coming off, but I would recommend tracking how you're doing (perhaps having a friend keep you accountable) so you don't start slipping back. Some people can do it, others can't and if you're one of the latter then staying on meds may be the best option for you.

I came off slowly but have just hit a wall. Longest I've gone without them was 2 years and I literally could not wait to re start them after pregnancy

I came off mine once, and stayed off them for years. Life wasn’t great. I should have just stayed on them. I’m back on them now, will be on them for life, and feel fine about it. At least they enable me to live.