How to stop my 5 year old whinging and battling every single thing

[foreverseekingslippers]

I feel like I'm failing at parenting today, most of the time I keep my cool and am as patient as I can be but today I've blown my top.

My 5 year old with possible adhd, battles and whinged at every single thing. From picking him up from school it was a constant stream of battling, no time to go to the park as we had swimming which caused a loud 'noooo im not going swimming, I want to go to the park' with a foot stamp. Then after finishing swimming it's bath time arguments, hair wash, teeth brush, bedtime, dinner time, you name it it's been a battle.

I find it triggering for me and it's just tipped me over today and I ended up shouting at him and telling him how he's battled me so much and always does then I cried! Now he's alseep I feel full of guilt for losing my sh!t!

But how can I control / lessen the endless the battles? It's exhausting.

I'm a grandmother and I just don't argue unless it's unavoidable. I would have gone to the park if that was what he wanted, and I would have not done the hair wash. Choose your battles.

I only wash his hair once a week after swimming, if I gave in he would never have his hair washed! We only didn't go to the park because it was his swimming lesson, I say yes most days but on the days I say no it's awful

My ADHD boy was an absolute disaster at this point in the year he started reception. He was exhausted, trying to adjust to expectations at school, struggling to make friends, just finding everything really hard. We ended up stopping any extra curriculars until Easter as he just couldn’t manage it.

Lots of fresh air and exercise, limited screen time to 30 minutes of TV and no hand held screens. No expectations beyond 10 mins of reading twice a week. Very very early bedtimes and lots of time to chill at the weekend (but still with the exercise as he’s worse without it and can’t sleep). Try to reduce demands where you can, he doesn’t need a bath and hair wash after swimming it’s overloading him. Get him to have a quick rinse in the shower at swimming then straight into PJs and.a onesie to come home.

Have you had a look at some of the PDA methods, feel like you are giving them choice. Would you like to wear pink or blue swim shorts, shall we go to swimming before or after our hot chocolate, do you want to have a bath or shower type of questions.

Here to say I feel all this and it's rough...don't give yourself a hard time as much as it's hard to do as you're human. I think you did the right thing. It's everything I would have done, they can't have their own way all the time. I would apologise later if shouted so he knows it was unreasonable and he will learn to also apologise to you, and not feel confused about the interaction. I guess it's a bit like us that we don't always feel like doing something in the moment but when we're there, we have a nice time. I have, with my older one, tried to get him to reflect 'see you had a nice time', and for the park 'we will aim do that tomorrow', no promises but follow through with it...so next time he knows you will follow through. The 'then and now' is a good technique. It's a rough age as other poster has said, and a case of keeping consistent routines and riding it out, it will get easier.

I think all 5/6 year olds go through a bit of a defiant phase so you won’t be alone even if the potential for adhd is making it worse. My 5yo is an angel in school and a bit of a beast at the end of the day or after an activity. She’s going through a ‘no’ phase.