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I can’t afford to buy relatives gifts.

11 replies

KB363736383729382 · 11/11/2024 17:33

Even cheap ones. I don’t think we can do it this. Generally struggling with bills going up but also unexpected car repair costs and house repairs. This year has been financially draining, we can just about to afford to buy dc what they want buy it doesn’t leave much else.

family dynamic is that both me and dp are oldest of 4 with siblings a lot younger than us. Our siblings don’t really buy for our DC as we don’t expect them too but we usually buy siblings a token gift of some kind kr some chocolate but with 6 siblings it adds up, plus parents and my grandmother and my uncle (uncle doesn’t have his own family so couldn’t not get him a gift if I got my mum, grandma etc a gift). I generally love buying gifts but not sure how possible it will be.

I know my grandma will be totally fine with it, no question, she always tells me off for buying her stuff. MIL should be okay, it’s my mother that can be difficult.

I have told her I cannot afford it but she’ll probably forget.

our relatives are in better financial situations than us and this year it just feels pointless buying a gift that no one appreciates for the sake of it.

would you understand?

it’s been a crappy year in general. We’ve lost other friends and relatives along the way. I just feel like a bit of an asshole but money is the tightest it’s ever been for us!

OP posts:
SendMeHomeNow · 11/11/2024 17:35

Could you get the kids to make cards? It’s more personal than a bought one then just explain finances won’t stretch this year. I would completely understand.

Sirzy · 11/11/2024 17:38

Maybe make some mince pies or biscuits or something if you want to have something to give?

but I would send a message out now and say “unfortunately money is tight this year so I’m sure you will understand we are focusing present giving on making sure the children have a brilliant Christmas. We still look forward to seeing you over the holidays (if you normally do!)”

mitogoshigg · 11/11/2024 17:40

Homemade cards and homemade truffles - buy ingredients from Lidl. For £10 you can make enough for everyone

AperolWhore · 11/11/2024 17:44

The trick with this is to let people know early, quick message or call to everyone with a short and simple, we’ve had some huge unexpected bills recently and we’re scaling back Christmas this year. We’re only buying for the DC this year but would love to see you for a mince pie etc over the Christmas period. Thanks for understanding.

No need to explain further or make it long winded.

TravelInsuranceQ · 11/11/2024 17:45

Give people plenty of warning that you're not doing presents this year (so they don't buy any for you - that's only fair!)
And also tell them this is how it's going to be going forward, you're simplifying Christmas for everyone.
We did it years ago and the whole family agree it was the best idea (I'm from a bigger family than yours, so so much easier!)

DelphiniumBlue · 11/11/2024 17:47

A friend of mine bought some big packs of bulbs ( daffodils etc) and divided them up, wrapped them in fabric and gave them out for presents one year when she was v skint. It was a lovely idea, maybe you could do something like that? Or make chutney or biscuits or something?

Notreat · 11/11/2024 17:47

mitogoshigg · 11/11/2024 17:40

Homemade cards and homemade truffles - buy ingredients from Lidl. For £10 you can make enough for everyone

I think this is a lovely idea and a present I would like to receive!

BESTAUNTB · 11/11/2024 17:50

Sirzy · 11/11/2024 17:38

Maybe make some mince pies or biscuits or something if you want to have something to give?

but I would send a message out now and say “unfortunately money is tight this year so I’m sure you will understand we are focusing present giving on making sure the children have a brilliant Christmas. We still look forward to seeing you over the holidays (if you normally do!)”

This is a good message.

user1471538283 · 11/11/2024 17:58

If you were mine I'd be devastated that you are stressing about buying me a gift. I like the idea of maybe some bulbs if you can afford it but I prefer the idea of a card that the children made or a really nice photo of them.

I'm at the age when I have more than I need and I'm trying to declutter. I just want time with the people I love.

glassof · 11/11/2024 18:03

I'm making air dry clay stars with names on, so easy and look great. You could add these to homemade cards and maybe something else little like lovely Christmas photo of your kids/family/pets

Or a voucher for your time in the new year, baby sitting, coffee date etc

AnneButNotHathaway · 12/11/2024 11:53

Let them know about this ASAP and you'll be fine! You can make a video greeting card or a Merry Christmas slideshow instead of a card or go with handmade ones and maybe bake something if you feel as if you absolutely have to make some kind of a gift for them. The situation is perfectly understandable, though, I don't think there will be any problems with them accepting it, just let them know in advance.

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