I've had health anxiety for a few years and I'd managed to come off meds and use exercise, good diet etc as a means to stay on top of it. Recently I've spiralled again and it took me until the last two weeks to realise how bad it's got.
I'm jittery and twitchy, in my own head all the time obsessively, I was convinced I was dying from pancreatic cancer for the last three weeks, I'm grinding my teeth, not sleeping, my entire body is tense and full of knots and I have the sense of impending doom that's so horribly familiar.
I can't believe I didn't see it sooner, I really thought I had it under control.
i do have some actual hormone issues that are being investigated, which has probably triggered this whole thing, and I've taken steps to get back on top of it:
I'm seeing a counsellor again, had my first session yesterday
I'm back on my medication after seeing a doctor
But I'm in that interim period where the side effects from the medication are fuelling the anxiety and I'm waiting for it to kick it, and feel beyond on edge and tearful. I guess I'm just looking for a bit of solidarity really. I know it will get better, I've been here before and yet I can't stop feeling hopeless and tearful.