What type of therapy would be best for me

[Bamboopole]

I hope this is an ok place to post this question. Could anyone with experience of therapy recommend what therapy I might be best to look into?

I have self hatred, low self esteem, anxiety/worry and shame issues, procrastinate constantly and achieve nothing in my life and career. I'm a mother and I am worried I am going to pass these traits on to my children.

The thing is, I had a lovely childhood and no trauma or abuse to speak of. My parents are wonderful and generous people and still do all they can for me now. I don't want a therapist who is going to make me talk endlessly about the past when what I want to address is the present. When I tried therapy about 10 years ago this is exactly what happened and I really disliked the therapist and got nothing out of it. I've also had counselling after miscarriages (helpful initially, but I burnt out talking about myself so much) and CBT for worry during pregnancy (this was helpful to understand the process of worry but didn't necessarily change things for me).

Is there a therapy for me?!

Thank you if anyone can help.

I've had Gestalt therapy which can look at past experiences but focuses on what is present for you in the moment, what feelings etc. I've found it very helpful.

I was going to suggest CBT or person centred therapy. I’m not sure you will find one where you don’t have to talk about yourself because that’s really the whole point, but I do agree that you need to find a therapist you like as it makes a difference to how well you engage with the therapy itself. It might take you a few goes, but when you find someone you click with it will really help.

The thing about CBT is you really need to practise it in real life for it to be effective. Also, going into your past can address the “why”. I personally also have amazing parents, but their insistence on me doing well academically has affected my whole life to the point that I was burning myself out trying to be perfect in all areas of my life and therapy was what uncovered that.

The quality of the connection may be more important than the modality. You may need to have a few introductory sessions before you find someone who feels like a good fit?

Thanks for the replies. I think I need to speak to a few therapists and make sure it's a good fit before starting. I just struggle to fill the whole session with talking - the therapist I didn't like would use this "aggressive silence" type approach to make me keep talking and talking, I felt really uncomfortable.