Thoughts on Staying over at a friend's house, who lives 10 minutes away from you and you're in your 50s

[Alittlebitmoreifyoucan]

My friend asked me to stay the other Friday night. I know my friend doesn't like being on her own. She has never admitted it, but inadvertently said it. She's divorced 5 years, DC go to their dads eow and take the family dog. Friend and her ex got 50% custody each of the dog. Being on her own means no DC or dog.

Tbh. In my 50s I really don't want to be sleeping at other people's houses when I have my own bed 10 minutes away. But I felt my friend needed (wanted) someone with her.

I would every now and then for her sake.

She’s been on her own for a while though - five years. I’m surprised she hasn’t asked you before.

Maybe she wanted the night to carry on and have a few extra drinks/chat etc and made an excuse?
Bit weird to not want to go home though 🤷‍♀️

Not a crime for her to ask you as a one-off- she must feel incredibly lonely when even the dog is taken!
Not a crime for you to not want to actually sleep there either - especially if you think it would turn into a regular request (which it sounds as if it might).
If there was a special circumstance I'd lean in favour of staying (alone on her milestone birthday/recent attempt at breaking into the house/illness etc) but maybe in the medium term she should be thinking about getting a pet that stays with her and sleeps in her room rather than trying to co-opt you.

@BESTAUNTB I used to live an hour away and would stay over on the nights I went to hers at the weekend

A few months ago I moved 10 minutes away from her

Ah bless her. Could she get a second dog that’s just hers?

I would stay over occasionally if it were my friend and she was feeling anxious or lonely and wanting some company. It must be hard for her to get used to an empty house. Look at it as an opportunity to get a takeaway and a couple of bottles of wine and have a nice evening chatting or watch a film.

I’d love that, total night off to relax with a friend.

Absolutely not! She needs to get used to being on her own. If you go she’ll expect it every other week. Being nice, and assuming it’ll be a one-off will be a mistake, trust me. Far better to be cruel to be kind for her long term resilience.

im mid 50's & happily stay over at friends, it's nice to relax & not be thinking about having to drive home in the cold!

I definitely would if a friend wanted company. I live alone, but I know not everyone feels ok about being 'home alone' overnight.

Invite her to yours. Maybe she doesn't want you or her wandering about in the dark late at night.

But she could look st getting another dog, plenty of well behaved rescue dogs about.

If you don’t want to then it’s up to you and while I wouldn’t want to do it all the time! if it was a good friend I enjoy spending time with then I would like a night where we can share a bottle and have a good catch up without the having to cut the night short to get home.

If you don’t want to, just don’t! She doesn’t need someone there. I can understand that it’s what she wants, but none of us should expect someone else to do something they’re not comfortable with just because it’s what we want.