Made a pass at a friend

[Shitwhathaveidone]

Really drunk last night and made a pass at my friend. Fairly new friendship, both same sex. Never done this before, was so drunk and absolutely mortified 😩 Really don’t know how to handle it now, she’s not interested so it won’t go anywhere but our husbands are friends and she’s bound to tell him

My marriage is dead in the water, but I know I shouldn’t have done it and have never done anything like this before. I’m so embarrassed and don’t know what to say

I expect she'll know it's only the drink!

Just apologise and say you'd had far too much.

Do you think? I’m literally sat cringing dreading having to see her. I don’t think it was the drink, as I do find her really attractive, but obviously I shouldn’t have said anything 😭

I didn’t try and kiss her or anything, but I was very clear with what I said. She probably thinks I’m really creepy and won’t ever want to come round again 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

Why can't you leave your husband op? Is it because of kids involved or money worries or what?

You may potentially have set the friendship back, but not necessarily. I would just apologise, blame it on the drink and then step back and wait to see if she suggests meeting up etc.

I’d apologise profusely and expect to be dropped. At least give her plenty of space. That’s an awkward position to be put in by a friend.

Then have a good think about your marriage, your sexuality, and whether you’re drinking too much because you’re unhappy.

You can leave your marriage. The world won’t end.

Honestly don't fret! It's a compliment to her. You didn't try to touch her.

Thinking about it my neighbour was so drunk that he tried to kiss me recently. I didn't bother mentioning it afterwards as it was irrelevant but I did have to get a stranger to help me get him home (he kept falling over, I only bumped into him on my way back)

Yeah kids involved, all with special needs. Once the are older it’s inevitable that we will split, but not for a good few years yet

I just feel so stupid. She’s so lovely and I just feel like such an idiot.

When will you see her next? Sounds like you have a lot on with family

Should I just text her or leave it completely?

I’ve had friends come on to me when we’ve been drunk and I haven’t been interested. To be honest, I don’t think it’s ever been discussed sober afterwards. It’s a compliment to be fancied. I don’t think any less of the people.

@CalicoPusscat probably today as she left stuff at mine, although I presume she will send her husband as I don’t think she will want to see me

Send her a text saying you’re really sorry, you were unbelievably hammered and you’re mortified. Then leave the ball in her court.

I think you could text her if you want. You can both have a laugh about it.

Probably not what you want to hear but I would distance myself from someone who did this knowing I was married, it just feels so disrespectful to both your own marriage and your friend's.

@FionnulaTheCooler I know, it’s so disrespectful, that’s what I feel so
awful. 20 years married and I have never done anything like this before, i genuinely feel
terrible

Give yourself a break. If I was on the receiving end of this (and wasn’t interested), then I would appreciate a text to know that it’s not an issue (eg I agree to blame it on the drink).

did she say she wasn’t interested? If so, then I’d drop a text and say “sorry about last night, can’t remember it all but feel I may have been inappropriate and clearly I had waaaay too much to drink. Can we forget that conversation happened? What time are you collecting your stuff? Have a great weekend. I’m off to nurse a hangover”.

I'd text her something along the lines of:
"I've just woken up with a horrendous hangover and just remembered what I did/said last night, I'm absolutely mortified. I sincerely apologise, I don't know what came over me, probably the amount of (insert drink) that I consumed. I hope you can forgive me and write it off as a drunken mistake, I really can't apologise enough. No more (insert drink) for me. Xxx)

Terrible advice!!! Don't do this OP! 'Pretending' you don't remember is beyond cringey and even more disrespectful!

Just own it! We've all done stupid things when drunk...it won't be the end of your friendship as long as you own it and apologise.

I’m also panicking now that she will tell her husband and he will tell mine.

I have messaged apologising and said I hoped I haven’t ruined us being friends, said I was really embarrassed and had been very drunk

It's really not the end of the world, you said something to her. Not flung her across the sofa.

Text her now and put yourself out of your misery, just say you came out with it after drinking and had no intent to cause offense and you're sorry.

You were drunk can’t remember a thing style it out by not acting any differently. If I were you I would send a text saying that you haven’t been that drunk for a long time, have woken up with a hangover and can’t remember a thing past 9pm.

I’m sorry your marriage isn’t working, I’m sorry you’ve probably lost a friendship (ball is entirely in her court). I’m not sorry that you potentially have found a side to you that you didn’t know about?

And be kind to yourself. It’s going to be ok.

Dont over think it just treat it as a joke or make a joke out of it.
Tell everyone you was drunk and not a clue what you done bla bla bla.
I did the same years ago said friend still brings it up 15 years on i dont drink so much from that night on.
No hard feeling we laughed about it.

The husband will probably be flattered that you fancy his missus, but he gets to have her all to himself. If your husband finds out, he’ll probably be forgiving, men tend to be less judgemental about that sort of thing than women.

She’s just messaged back thank god 🤣 She seems ok and has laughed about it so I will just brazen it out now.