Parents of primary age kids and below: how much time at the weekends do you spend as a whole family?

[TeenGreenBottles]

If you are still with the other parent of your kids, and if you both have weekends free from work, how much time do you spend as a whole family? I'm mainly interested in parents of younger kids (primary age and below) as it's probably quite different for older ones who are more off doing there own thing anyway.

Most of the weekend is spent with me, DH and DCs (5,5,2) all together. I was chatting to a friend the other day, and she expressed a lot of surprise at this - she and her DH share out the weekend so each have at least an afternoon each weekend to themselves. Eg she has Saturday afternoon to do what she wants, and her DH has Sunday. She thought that most families do this and we're quite unusual not to.

Just wondering what everyone else does? Do you all stick together or do you use the weekend as a way to get some alone time?

Obviously I appreciate not everyone is in a couple, or one where you both have the weekend off.

Two DC under 9. We usually spend the entire weekend together as a standard, with the odd weekend where I/DH have plans away from the family.

At that age together unless doing essential chores (eg run to the dump, screwfix ot other mundane.) even took them grocery shopping and to b&q usually

We both work FT so weekends are housework and family time. We spend most of it together, when one parent is doing something with DC (2 year old) the other is cooking/cleaning/prepping something else. We do the big shop as a family, pop to town together and try to do something outdoors/activity. “Time off” is DC nap time and evenings, so there isn’t much but we do what we can. If I want “me” time (gym), I get up early to do what I need to do before the house wakes up. As a couple we love football so when we get to go to weekend games, DC will go to their grandparents for a few hours, that’s our “us” time and we cherish it. Other types of outings are planned in and we give each other the space to see friends etc… but our main priority is each other and our DC.

DC 7 & 11 - DS has just started secondary.

It's a mixed bag here but we spend as much time together as feasible.

I'm a teacher so usually need half a day to work. DD has a few morning classes on Saturday so we alternate taking her. DH does ParkRun. DS usually has some homework to do. DH usually does the food shop and possibly a park trip.

We usually curl up together for Strictly and if we do any outings it is as a family. I think it's good for the children to have individual attention but also we do enjoy each other's company.

One DD who's 5. We generally spend most of the weekend together.

Sometimes one might take DD to the park or do a particularly activity with her (craft/bake etc) and the other has a quiet hour or so. And one of us gets an hour and a half on a Saturday morning while the other takes her to swimming lessons (this time might be used for a supermarket run or something if we have guests for the weekend). Otherwise we pretty much do stuff together.

DH does occasionally work on Saturday and the kids are pretty busy on that day too so we set Sunday aside for actual family time. We have older teens as well so this isn't really a strict rule but we try to spend time together doing something outside even. When our older ones were younger - say there were also 5, 5 and 2 we would probably do about the same but it is definitely not unusual to spend time together as the whole family

Sundays 100%. We go to church as a family and have Sunday dinner together.
On the way home from church we often go to the local playgrounds, for a walk in the forest or the beach. Sometimes we go for a hot drink at a café or for an icecream. Depending on weather and moods.
Once in a while go to a local museum or the zoo. One of my daughter's friends join our family once or twice a month on Sundays which is great fun for both children and often the reason to do something fun. They attend the same primary school.
Once a month we visit the local library handing in books and choosing new books to bring home. Library is on the ways home from church anyway and its a nice place.

Saturday is a bit 50/50.
My husband plays rugby Saturday morning. Young children are welcome to join. I really think rugby is boring to watch, I have no desire to play and I stay at home reading in bed, having a long shower, watching a film, knitting - nice things. I do no housework - I spend the time 100% on myself.
If our child stays at home from rugby practise we read, play a game, do homework or prepare dinner. We do quite stuff. It's once a month she stays in is my guess (mostly if the weather is horrible).

Today (Saturday) I have had lunch with a friend. We live 3 hours apart and it was great to have a chance to catch up.
Daughter and husband did rugby practise and at 4 pm we met to watch a childrens' play with grandparents.
Most Saturdays afternoons we do an activity (Zoo, museums, childrens' play/concert, cinema, the pools, soft play, ride the bikes, see friends) or we spend time at home together. Often one of the daughter's friends go along if we are going out. We like cooking together. Saturday is a nice day for it if we don't have plans or we like a quite day.

A few weekends a year we do different things all weekend.
I have a weekend away coming up with a charity I'm engaged in. No problem.
Husband goes on rugby weekends a few times and away with work 1-3 weekends a year. It's fine. I often I go to visit my parents these weekends for a overnight stay with the child and enjoy it.

Best weekends are then our two grown up children at university join us. I love it. One is at university abroad and another studies 3 hours away so it's of course not that often it happens.

We only have one DC and usually the weekends are a mix of the three of us together and each of the adults having a bit of time alone to do whatever.

Going against the grain here but DH and I try to each get some child free time at the weekend. We don’t have family locally so we don’t really have any time where we’re not either working or looking after the kids otherwise. Generally it’s a couple of hours each to do things like exercise.

I think it’s massively important for your mental health to maintain your own interests and identity outside of parenting, if you put all of that on hold until they’re grown and just expect to pick up hobbies and a social life again, it can be very difficult if you’ve neglected them for a decade.

Oh goodness I feel awful reading these threads, I usually go out with friends either one night or one afternoon most weekends 😬 I have a lot of child-free friends and other interests. (I work 4 days a week if that's relevant...)
DH is usually out for a whole day and night each weekend during cricket season playing a match and I stay home with my son. I usually go to church on Sundays with DC (aged 3) but DH doesn't usually come as he is not Christian, although he does pop in sometimes.
You are all so wholesome on here. I need to do better. 😔

Is your son your only DC? The tone of your post doesn’t sound like you actually feel ‘awful’ tbh.

No I do feel awful... And I should feel awful... I am reading this thread and realising what a shit mum I've been.

And yes I only have one child...

I'm quite happy and content with our weekends. I don't feel my mental health suffers at all for it. I have no family near and no child free time at all during the week as the children attend the school I work full time in so even car journeys are accompanied!
Everyone is different though with their needs.

We have the weekend as quarters. Me and DH get a quarter to ourselves each. It’s a non negotiable for me. I’m still a person with hobbies and friends separate to my children. There’s then two quarters for family time. Plus all evening together. Our kids tend to go to bed late so we relax together in the evenings.

I’ll be honest that I’m horrified at how people can be happy with spending the entire weekend together as a family.

Well just stop going out so much if you really do feel awful about it? It sounds fine to me though, all families are different and I don’t think anyone has said spending anything less than all weekend together is neglectful. Im not sure in what universe going out with friends once a week makes you a sh*t parent. It sounds like good balance, as long as you enjoy it.

We used to have a lot more time for ourselves when we only had 1 DC instead of 2. And as for 3 like the OP…I can’t even imagine.

My husband works 4 weeks away then has 4 weeks at home. When he is home we spend all weekend together 2 DD's ages 6 and 1. The only time we don't do stuff together is if either of us has had a rare night out the night before- the parent who has been out has a lie in/morning to themselves. Or if older one has a party invite then one of us will go with her and the other do something with little one.

I will go out less in future and will try to be more like those who rarely go out. I am on my phone at the moment about to cancel a bunch of stuff right now. Maybe this thread was what I needed to hear to change my ways.

One three year old. We alternate lie ins and on Sundays I tend to spend either the morning or afternoon with DD and my parents, otherwise we’re usually together. Sometimes he’s playing with DD while I clean the kitchen or he’s doing something else whilst I give her a bath but if we go out on a Saturday it’s usually together.

@Olinguita why on earth do you need to change your ways? I answered the question asked and said we spend the whole weekend together when my partner is off. I guess my full answer should have been but when he has his 2 days off in the week the kids go to his parents overnight and we go out as a couple. Weekends he's working, the kids will go to his mums over night Friday so I can have a night with my mates. We all need time to ourselves.

3 Primary aged DS - the entire weekend spent together. Very occasionally Me or DH will have a night out together or separately with Friends.

But why? Other families spend their time differently - that doesn’t make you a bad or neglectful parent. You don’t need to cancel all your plans on the basis of how internet strangers spend their time.

I work much longer hours than DH and so he does much more childcare during the week. At the weekend, I mostly take DD7 out or play with her, since I see her so little during the week, and he has some time to himself and does bits and bobs around the house. We have breakfast and dinner together, but that's pretty much it in terms of the three of us hanging out. DH and I hang out together after DD is asleep. I appreciate that it's probably an unusual set-up, though.

Majority of weekend is for family for us. One DC has an activity every Saturday, so one of us does that while the other has the other children at home. Every now and then DH might do something by himself, but that would be less than once a month. And me almost never.

For us it depends, today we did activities together, had lunch out & went out in the afternoon. Last week I took the dc out all morning to see friends. I’m p/t so have time when the dc are at school to myself so I try and give DH a bit of time off on the weekend.