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DD cooking

10 replies

GnatsArse · 08/11/2024 20:40

This is a —semi— lighthearted rant. DD(13) has really got into cooking and baking over the last year. This is lovely in many ways because as a lone parent, I’m sick to death of being the only one responsible for meals and it’s really nice to have a meal cooked for me now and then. Plus I want to encourage her interests.

Some of what she cooks is pretty good but an awful lot isn’t. She overuses salt, herbs and spices (despite following a recipe), takes hours to make it so we end up eating really late, makes far too much or far too little, overcooks or undercooks stuff and has the heat on too high so the house is smoky and smells acrid for hours. She can be wasteful with ingredients and of course she trashes the kitchen every single time especially if she’s frying something (which is often).

She’s very keen to get my approval, asking me to rate the meals out of ten but more often than not, she decides she doesn’t like what she’s made and I have to eat it for every meal until it’s used up - 8 portion pie week was…interesting 😆 I try to be complimentary where I can and give gentle and constructive feedback but she gets upset by this. It doesn’t help that she rarely wants to make the same thing twice so she doesn’t get to perfect it before she’s looking at new things to make.

Of course I know this is down to inexperience but still, I’m finding it very trying. Can anyone relate? Would especially love to hear stories where they eventually became a fabulous cook! 🧑‍🍳

OP posts:
setmestraightplease · 08/11/2024 21:00

When my DDs were learning to cook (happy memories 🙄) I learned to limit it to once a week if they were cooking on their own - alternatively, if they wanted to cook more they could help me when I was cooking ( so I could supervise!)

Don't underestimate the trick of remembering you are parent and you are in charge!

Children are learning - they need constructive criticism, not being allowed to do their own thing at each and every opportunity - especially if you have to eat it 😬

Have you also 'gently encouraged ' her to clean up after herself / cost out her ingredients / taste her food and critique it herself

My daughters have both become good cooks.
I found they especially blossomed when they had their own kitchens and had to clear up after themselves / realised the cost of ingredients / got fed up with eating not-so-good food they've cooked without any external validation so they have to rely on their own judgement (and that of their husband / boyfriend)

Don't give in!! 🫣🫣

WonderingWanda · 08/11/2024 21:07

Sounds like you need to do it together for a bit longer while you let her take the lead but offer gentle advice.

OnlyFrench · 08/11/2024 21:09

Do you meal plan with her? It's a very useful tool for helping her understand budgeting, portion control etc.

Interested in this thread?

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FanofLeaves · 08/11/2024 21:11

Could you have her do a sort of Gousto type thing where everything is already measured out and the portion size is predetermined? She could pick the meals and it’ll still feel like she’s cooking but it might help her to learn how to do things a bit better. Then save the recipe cards for when she’s more experienced in the kitchen. You can generally get quite a few introductory offers with those things so it doesn’t have to be too expensive at least initially.

sallybr8 · 08/11/2024 21:54

FanofLeaves · 08/11/2024 21:11

Could you have her do a sort of Gousto type thing where everything is already measured out and the portion size is predetermined? She could pick the meals and it’ll still feel like she’s cooking but it might help her to learn how to do things a bit better. Then save the recipe cards for when she’s more experienced in the kitchen. You can generally get quite a few introductory offers with those things so it doesn’t have to be too expensive at least initially.

Edited

This is an excellent idea

GnatsArse · 08/11/2024 22:02

Thanks everyone. We do meal plan and go shopping together but she will use too much of something so there’s not enough for things I’ve planned. I make her clean up but she’s not thorough so I have to finish off and load the dishwasher. I probably should have mentioned she is likely ASD (on the waiting list for assessment) so some of this is down to executive dysfunction. It also means she doesn’t want me to interfere at all 🙄

I love the idea of a meal kit idea (thanks @FanofLeaves) which I’ll definitely look into. I’ve always assumed it would be too expensive but could be a good solution whilst she’s still learning.

OP posts:
EHCPerhaps · 08/11/2024 22:22

My DD also ND is the same. I have to completely step back and let her get on with it otherwise she has a meltdown. Then other times she will get distracted and wander off leaving uncooked or half cooked food so I can’t leave her to it and get on with other things I need to do. The mess is unbelievable. I don’t know what the solution is. Just wanted to say I understand. Maybe worth asking the SEN board if anyone has any experience with this?

FanofLeaves · 08/11/2024 22:24

I thought they were expensive too OP (and long term without discount maybe they are) I love cooking but we got them for a couple of months for my dad recently to try and get him to eat a bit better. I think you have to consider the amount of ingredients that are being overused/wasted at the moment with the current set up!

It is lovely your DD wants to cook for you though.

DD cooking
tobee · 08/11/2024 23:07

The not cleaning up bit would be my 😡🤯

NewName24 · 08/11/2024 23:17

I love the idea of a meal kit idea (thanks ) which I’ll definitely look into. I’ve always assumed it would be too expensive but could be a good solution whilst she’s still learning.

They always have offers on.
Get some on an introductory offer, then cancel. They soon start sending you loads more offers.

I wouldn't use them long term (can't get my head round the packaging and waste) but, in your circumstances, it sounds like a great idea now and then.

But I do agree with @setmestraightplease - you are the parent, and helping her to understand planning and not using up things you've bought for another meal is actually a more useful skill than her mastering another recipe.

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