help me get out of this slump

[helpmegetoutofthis]

tired, lethargic, hugely over eating and drinking, weight gain, sluggish, can't be arsed with anything which includes looking after the house/myself/work and going out unless it's my local and I can wear my elasticated waist comfies, which are doing me no good as I cannot gage weight gain with these, yet I wear them every day. I am wearing the same clothes day in/day out, the jumper has a hole in it which I can hide with my hair, but I am washing the clothes every few days (and clean undies!). I have let myself go and given up on myself.

I am 48, menopausal and have no thyroid (on mediation for this). I do not want to take HRT.

I am in a huge slump. Please help me stop over eating in the first instance. Every day is day 1 again and a re-set. Every day I fail. I've just scoffed a mcds breakfast. what is wrong with me.

@clearquote I am also UK, I meant its friday njght tonight. Teens are 15 & 17

Hey OP, everyone needs to make their own decisions re HRT but the link to breast cancer is really quite different to what was originally thought. In particular the study that kicked off the BC scare has been pulled apart in many ways (older cohort, didn't use modern HRT etc etc).
I'd really encourage you to do some more research on this as IMHO the risk of breast cancer is low and the risk factors for other things if you don't take it are higher (osteoporosis, atherosclerosis etc).
As I said everyone needs to make their own decisions and it may not be right for you but you may want to just check it out

@clearquote I will certainly consider it.

i have a dinner outing on 12 dec with old work colleagues. I have not see them for a year, I want to lose a stone by this date. Something to aim for,

I WAH every day I don't brush my hair, only sometimes brush my teeth (always do them at night though), same clothes (with holes as per my op). I popped to the salon today - I am still managing to get my nails done - they must think I am a tramp with unbrushed hair, holes in clothes, same clothes every time. WAH and not leaving the house, except for the school run, the beauty salon, I just think what is he point of putting my face on, I don't need to go on camera for work ever. I have a friend who WAH and she makes a point of getting ready every morning regardless its hair and makeup

Sometimes medication can just really help. Depression medication honestly saved my DH's life. As well as walking and exercising.

HRT - there are links to breast cancer if you have a history in your family. But it's probably worth a detailed chat with the GP as it made a massive difference to me. I hadn't realised how low I'd got till I started climbing back up again

The cardigan with the hole is not really repairable as it's worn and old and looks tatty. It has 3 holes, 1 noticeable from behind. I have just ordered something similar to replace #workinprogress

bath and self care tonight. I have to try as much as I can

DH will push for a takeaway tonight, I have to say no, I am not even hungry. He can get something I am not,

I was in a slump too op and have managed to get myself out.

Get some floradix and vitamin d
Tonight, don't drink and don't eat crap (if not tonight then the next night you feel able to)
Stop eating at 7.30 and go to bed early.
Give everyone tasks to do and plan some cleaning with everyone tomorrow.
Do one job each tonight.
Tomorrow, you should feel a bit of a reset from not eating crap or late.

Get up, brush your teeth and go for a walk. In a park or any area with lots of nature, ideally
Come home, have a shower and condition and brush your hair in the shower, then wash the conditioner out.
Have your breakfast and include eggs.
Carry on with the cleaning for an hour. Listen to an audiobook or music.

Stop all the crap takeaways. If you're getting a takeaway, get something that is at least proper food and includes veg.

Make a meal plan for the week.

Cut down your phone use too.

If you want to lose a stone by 12 Dec then you need to reduce your carbs and cut out sugar and alcohol. It can be done.

OP, I could have written this post word for word, down to not wanting to try HRT due to the breast cancer risk (because of my family history). I have even wondered if HRT would even work, whether it’s related to menopause at all or whether it’s just due to the combination of WFH and juggling that with 2 younger children (I’m 50 and my children are 10 and 6)

I did lose some weight earlier in the year but it was very hard work, and I’ve put a lot on again. It involved calorie restriction, no alcohol at all and daily walking. I enjoyed the walking but it was a struggle to fit it in.

i have been called back after something showed up in a screen mammogram so I have an appointment next week. I think depending on how that goes, I will go and have a chat with my GP, get my bloods done and see what these show about my hormone profile. I never go to a doctor because I’m rarely sick.

I’ll be following this thread with interest.

There is no link to breast cancer from patches or gels. You know what IS linked to breast cancer though? Alcohol consumption and obesity yet you aren't shunning those.

HRT could help you stop the unhealthy habits that are making your cancer risks higher

You do really sound stuck. One step at a time.

I know your weight is your biggest concern but it's incredibly difficult to just reduce your eating when you're feeling shit. I'm afraid you'll fail if you try now and it'll make things worse for you.

Can you get back to your GP. Speak to them about how you are feeling. Get some blood tests. Ask more about the anti depressants you've got, talk about why you don't want to take them. Be aware that peri menopause symptoms are often mistaken for depression.

Once you feel better you'll have the energy to shop and eat better.

I'm 43. I started on HRT 4 months ago. It's given me a new lease of life. Less tired, more energy, less inflammation (asthma better controlled), senses improved, no more aches and pains. I still had regular periods so was a bit 🤷🏼‍♀️ but honesty, I feel like me again!

I was in a bit of a slump and I got myself a fake tan for the first time and now I’m doing my nails … it’s really helping!

maybe start with self care and then work from there?

also I cannot recommend gousto food enough. It’s really tasty but portions are smaller than you’d think so you can keep to a smaller calorie level surprisingly easily. I wasn’t trying to lose weight (in fertility treatment so I actually can’t lose any weight or they kick me out!) and I really had to keep an eye on it.

This

And also be mindful of the cardiovascular benefits of HRT, reducing risk of heart disease and stroke.

Sorry to hear others who are going through the same thing. Sending hugs.

@desperatehousewife2 I hope your mammogram shows nothing untoward and everything is OK.

Last night I resisted wine. I did have a takeaway but I only had 4 chicken tenders. Could have been worse, There were actually 6 but I only ate 4. I felt like I had had enough at 4, 6 would have been greedy of me and made me feel over full. It felt good to leave some food for once.

This morning I left the mess to my DH and DC to sort. I usually declare to them 'I am not sorting that lot', they get arsey when I say this, they say there was no ask by them for me to sort it, but I feel like they leave it and just expect me to sort as that is what I have always done. I usually have the attitude ''its only going to take 10 mins, I will just quickly do it then its done''. I left it, they sorted it.

I also did an hours workout at home with music this morning. I would usually put an old and dreary film on my tablet and carry this around the house with me as I spend most of Saturday/cleaning/sorting/tidying (I don't get time in the week as working FT) but today I have done the bare minimum, in fact hard anything as I am letting my standards relax a little. I recorded some old skool music last night on the music channel and blasted that out while working out, So far, no junk or crap as yet today.

#winningfortodaysofar