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Family positivity

1 reply

stuckinthemiddlewithyou1 · 08/11/2024 08:25

So I’ve been pretty stressed out lately and have felt a great need to unpack my box so to speak. I’ve been reading a lot online about fulfillment and purpose and it’s interesting that almost everything has a piece about connection with others, or spending time with people you love, family etc etc etc

for example:
“If you are too busy to enjoy quality time with your family, then you need to re-evaluate your priorities.”
“Family is a unique gift that needs to be appreciated and treasured, even when they’re driving you crazy. As much as they make you mad, interrupt you, annoy you, curse at you, try to control you, these are the people who know you the best and who love you.”

Obviously I realize these are choices that don’t apply or work for everyone and not something I’m obligated to do but I just find it interesting that this mantra seems to flow through the self care / higher living thought process where for me it is exactly other people and humans who are my main stressors and I feel like I need to spend less time with them not more … it leaves me feeling like it’s my fault and how I interact with other people is to blame because clearly there are people out there who would jump into fires for their families. Like there is something wrong with our family dynamics.
All this family positivity message really gets me down, especially as the festive season approaches and I realize that unless I do something for everyone’s benefit there won’t be much of a festive season.

Don’t get me wrong. We (my DH and I) have a wonderful handful of friends who we love spending time with. It’s usually family who drain our emotional energy.

OP posts:
PhlebasThePhoenecian · 08/11/2024 13:37

I know what you mean. I'm sure you'll be told that you'll be sad when they're not around any more or have flown the nest, etc etc. And that's true but it doesn't make them any better right now and you can only deal with the hand you've been given.

Friends are the family you choose and all that. Maybe if you carve out more time to spend with friends you'll feel a bit better about time that you do spend with family as you won't feel quite so much like there's no time 'for you'?

I definitely don't think it's mandatory to feel amazing about time you spend with your family though. Hopefully it's something that goes through stages too as kids age and relationship dynamics change.

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